How do I build a new routine?

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Due to some unplanned life changes I find myself completly on my own for the first time ever and it has created a problem.

Like a lot of us I need a routine to get through my day, but until now I never realized how much I had depended on the people around me to frame that routine. Of course when I lived at home my foster mom laid out the routine, then the Army let me know what I would be doing. School was a problem, but I made it through and have had a decent routine for workdays when I'm at work. However they are planning to move me to another project in a new building on a new team, so that will have to be revised.

The real problem is my "off" time. Until yesterday I built my weekends and days off around first my kids and when they grew up and moved out my husband. Although I rise early, I'm used to not eating breakfast until he got up and we would go together out somewhere to discuss the news and math and games and other nerdy stuff. Evenings, even on work nights were set by what time he got home from work and a discussion of the day, before I went to bed. Now I don't remember to eat, I find myself automatically waiting for him to to join me for breakfast, or to come home (he won't be) and generally staring at mostly blank sheets of paper that I'm trying to write a plan on.

I have a couple of things, like feeding the dog mornings and evenings, but really I just feel "stuck". It's like trying to walk into a room of people I don't know. Anyway, I want to get unfrozen.

So what touchstones do you guys use for your schedule? What suggestions do you have so that I don't end up a reclusive couch potato?

My day is extremely structured and systematized throughout the week. I have enough enthusiasm for my personal interests (computers, math, science) that non-work time goes into them. I find interruptions to my schedule disruptive and disconcerting.

I suggest you find something you like to do and start doing it. You probably already have one if not several special interests, and could put hours per day into them. Schedule them in as appropriate. For instance, I like astronomy a lot, and for obvious reasons tend to do my observing late at night.

^^ I must say that, currently, I too am blessed with problems in forming a routine, and I believe this perhaps due to that I am currently within my very long University holiday. ^^ During my happy time in high school, I would work until approximately 20.00, and happily play on my computer until 21.00, then sit with my mother and father or my two kitties whilst reading or watching television until 22.00 and then happily fall asleep with my bed friend. ^^ I now have a similar happy routine for University (however I find difficulty as, unlike school, there is a differing time for when I need to attend each day and also this change every ten weeks). However, during the holidays I feel very scared. ^^ I have recently purchased a happy "Teach Yourself Japanese" course books and CDs for my self and believe this is very fun and may create a new routine involving this each day for myself.

I do not perhaps believe I possess a happy little special interest pixie that I must take part in for the majority of the time, yet must have a routine involving a small number of set activities, alas I do believe this is certainly very difficult for me to form, yet is also difficult to dissolve once formed. ^^ However I find scaries during the holiday, as often unexpected events may come to visit me. ^^ These are very nice, yet I find that I may not form a magical routine that is my friend.

everything will fall into place my man. changing routine isnt that hard unless you have full blown autism, i consider myself a pretty autistic fellow and i can change or maybe not change but go back to how i used to live never breaking the threshold of some certain skills

Thnaks. I have recently taken up the Bass guitar and have thrown myself at it with an enthusiasum I haven't expressed since my middle school horse period.

I tend to need events to form routines around. Like Tomasu, College was difficult because the classes changed every 10 weeks, but the act of driving to and from the campus, like the act of driving to and from work, set the event boundries. Now I need to try to find event touchstones for my free time, like Get up, feed dog, drive to gym, exercise, shower, drive to home, practice Bass ... and... um... yeah (I run out of to do's after there). Does that sound too dumb?

Update, because I've made some progress. Keeping track of what I did may help me next time, or may help someone else. Just having to lay it out like this is probably an indication of how differently I have approach problems from NT's. In my experiance most people are able to do these things without a written algorithm.

1) Make a list of everything that has to be done. Everything from brushing teeth to cleaning the gutters of the house and hanging Holiday lights. Include tasks that are performed by contracters such as grass cutting and Terminix.

2) Make a list of everything that is usually done that wasn't on list one. Things like going to the gym, playing video games, going to anime night at the game store or Thanksgiving Dinner.

3) This is the hard one. Make a list of things you want to do, like go on vacation to Tucson or join a new internet forum. It's OK if these are one time events. Don't wait to finish this to go to the next step, since lists 1 and 2 are enough to get you started

Take the three lists and cut them into task-pieces. Arrange them onto a calendar/calendar program. If necessary, break them into smaller tasks or consolidate them into larger tasks. Start with the tasks that are related to a certain date (Thanksgiving) or day (grass is cut on alternate Fridays), since those are easy to distribute. Try to find a good balance between must/like. Be willing to adjust the distrubution if you have overloaded a certain day. Don't forget that some tasks can occur concurrently i.e. laundry and Bass practice. Test and adjust as necessary.