At a loss of what to do.

Post Reply New Topic

I'm depressed over my lack of connection with the outside world other than my immediate family. I have a strong sense of self, and I'm a true individual, and as you know, life is an uphill battle for those who dare to be different. I don't drink, not even a little, smoke or do drugs. If I go out at night, it's to hear a random cover band that does 70s/80s/90s hits. I don't listen to the radio. I only watch football because I'm from Boston and a bandwagon Patriots fan that really just likes watching Tom Brady play and could care less about the rest of the team. Other than that, I'm not one of the guys and don't watch sports. I'm an all or nothing kind of guy. I'd rather be eternally single than in a bad or unfulfilling relationship. I don't have the emotional fortitude to hold a job that I have no interest in and it would take finding a job that directly appealed to me - i.e. Playboy Photographer or Musician - for me to enter the workforce. I've tried working conventional jobs and ended up hospitalized over depression, excessive stress, and on top of that getting made fun of or mistreated by co-workers because of physical appearance and lack of job skills.

The only things that seem to motivate me in life is travel, music, and attractive women. I'm not book-smart and had to work very hard and take primarily English and writing courses to get my Associates Degree and have withdrawn from a number of 4 year schools within the first few days of classes over not being able to handle the homework and not having the interest in the courses to put in extra effort or get a tutor.

I'm on medication for depression and it seems to help. My self-esteem, despite how it may sound, is pretty decent. I don't find myself unattractive and don't hate being myself. The problem I have is the world and adjusting to it.

I'm so desperate for attractive female company that if I had more than the 400 dollars I get from the government each month, I'd pay for a prostitute. Like someone said once, there's no difference between alamony and prostitution. Either way, you're paying for the whore to leave. And at least with a prostitute, I could pay extra money for cuddling and talking and they'd pretend to care about the fact that I listen to old music and watch 90s TV shows.

End of rant.

Therange, what is "alamony"?

alimony

Ah okay, thank you

So then, on the opposite of Therange, I can see a BIG, a huge, difference between alimony and paying for a prostitute: an ex-wife, usually, don't have sex nor cuddling nor nothing of that type with ex-husband.

Where do you like to travel?

Another crucial difference is that alimony is open-ended. You could be paying forever, or at least until you die, or pretend to die. With prostitution you pay so they leave, but only a limited amount once each time and then it's done.