Oh my god... What have I done?!

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I feel a bit odd posting this as such a new member and I'm not entirely sure if this is the right board to post this in but it's something that I need to get off my chest.

Oh my god... I think I f****d up horribly.
I don't normally get scared I get anxious but right now I am absolutely terrified.
I decided to "asert my independence" as I have so often been told to do and I signed up for a year long exchange in France. I have no idea what I was thinking at the time but I knew that I felt some semblance of confidence either poorly construed or nothing more than outwardly projected fake hubris, but now that my departure is less than a month away it has dawned on me for the first time.
One full year.
Away from my home.
In a new country.
With a new language.
In a new house.
In a new city.
And less than a month until I leave.

Oh my god, I am freaking out right now.
There are still things that I need to get done.
And things I need to do this year.
This is the last year that I will be a "child" and I am going to be "alone" in navigating it.
I need help. I need someone to talk to but my parents and those around me are too "saturated" in my daily apathy and my artificial show of arrogance that I am forced to put on in front of them.

Oh my god.
What do I do?!

Congratulations! Enjoy your awesome opportunity to learn about the culture and immerse in a new language. I wish I had had the chance and the courage to go overseas as a student.

I know the feeling. Don't panic. You didn't f**k up horribly. But anxiety isn't surprising.

I did something similar when I was in college. I applied in my second year to go abroad on a program to Japan during my third year. I almost withdrew my application, then put it back in. Then when I made it to the interview stage, I pulled out. But at the last minute went through with the interview. When I was accepted, I didn't even know what to think. And as my departure date drew closer, I became very stressed. But somehow I managed to get on the plane, fly halfway around the world, and arrive in Japan for my year there with a family I'd never met, in a culture I'd only seen on TV, and a language I barely spoke.

It was worth all the effort, even if I had some difficult days during the year. The benefits of having done it are many:

1. Sense of "I did it".
2. Experience of being a foreigner, which as an Aspie was already familiar, but it was easier and less stressful when everyone knew I was a foreigner and didn't expect me to be "normal".
3. Getting away from the stuff back home I didn't like.
4. Learning a lot about NTs and their communication skills by virtue of being in a new environment.
5. It was fun a lot of the time.

I hope you'll manage to calm down about it, and with anxiety in check prepare for what will likely be a great year in many ways.

France is nice, besides you always can go back home if it does not work out for you.

Relax and give it a try.

Congratulations! Living on a different culture for one years must be a very challenging experience but also a nice way to learn a lot about the world we live in, specially about the differences that exist.

Anxiety is quite normal, just don't freak out ok?

Good luck!

It was a good idea to sign up to go abroad. Don't worry, it will be a good learning experience. Besides, you'll only be there temporarily.

go through with it.

its the IDEA thats frightening.

being there wont be so bad. its just a place
they know english, if you absolutely have to get lost, and nobody is going to allow you to get seriously threatened by anything, its not like your gonna drift around untill you starve to death, for making a mistake or anything

in short, your safe.
you're gonna go head-first into an adventure.

GOOD FOR YOU!

I went to France on exchange for a year when I was 20. I was not diagnosed then, and my Aspergers and depression were affecting me, and I got in quite a few sticky situations, I was once assaulted, another time mugged by Moroccans, once threatened suicide by defenestration but I was restrained. But I still am glad I had the experience, even if I did fail all my subjects that year, I wasn't diagnosed, it was not my fault.

Do you have your accommodation sorted? That's the most important thing. Will you be staying with a family? If not, make sure you get a flat to yourself. Never live in a cité. I got threatened most days there. Important to find a place to base yourself and not have to move often. If you intend doing much backpacking, you'll need at least two days rest for each day travelling, at least. I wish someone had given me these tips, ah well can't change the past

Living abroad is a good experience. I have lived in Sweden for half a year. It gave me new insights to my situation at home and at my attitudes and beliefs. One good thing is to join a student group, it gives you something to do and gets you into contact with a lot of people.

Being there forced me to develop new behaviour, to compensate my Aspie behaviour.

And when I got closer to the trip, the more nervous I got. But it was not necessary to be nervous, people will tolerate certain behaviour because you are a foreigner.

I wish I got to go to France! I want to travel so much and I already speak French because it's the other official language of Canada.

Thank you all very much, I definitely got some great reassurance from your responses.. And some made me more anxious (and by the way, I am staying with a host family). Overall though I'm feeling a lot better about this and I remembered what I was thinking at the time. I was thinking that this would be a great chance escape the hell that is the ordinary school year.. Something too easy to forget during the summer.

Don't panic. And 42... no wait, wrong topic. But seriously, don't panic about being panicked. It's normal for this kind of thing honestly. I would recommend letting your host family know up front about your quirks. It makes things a lot smoother. I went to Japan my senior year and seriously lucked out, because my teacher told my host family for me. BIG help there because that is one culture where it is easy to be rude but no one is going to be rude by telling you you're rude lol. It let them help me out in the new culture a lot more than I think I would have been able to manage otherwise.