Started Therapy.
After moving to Tauranga, I came off an anti-depressant called Efexor (venlafaxine) because it wasn't helping enough and had serious side-effects. I switched to Citalopram, which is slightly better and has minimal side-effects. But my depression is still stronger.
Part of it is my living situation. The flat I am in had major maintenance issues, now fixed, that created alot of stress. Also it is uninsulated and the electrical bills (which include heating) were too much to afford, and the cold both uncomfortable and at times physically painful. And yet it doesn't seem the whole story. I've realised things to be missing in my life, a big empty space that i've been filling with other junk-like stuff in an effort to cope.
Recently I spoke to a psychologist at the local CMH branch (community mental health), already he's identified that I am seriously depressed, I still have a severe anxiety disorder (I thought this had improved), and I still have unresolved matters with my past, old feelings about being bullied, a traumatic childhood incident, my parents splitting up, and so on. I seem to have carried this s**t for at least 15 years.
I've believed I need some real therapeutic counseling for a long time, and seems finally I'm going to get it.
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Life is Painful. Suffering is Optional. Keep your face to the Sun and never see your Shadow.
Good to read this. I started seeing a counsellor about one year ago. She has been pretty helpful I think, because she gave me someone to talk to.
I know what you mean about the stress of flats. I had similar problems in a flat I stayed in last year. It wasnt well insulated, cold, had mould, dryer made everything smell like mould, couldnt shut the curtains in my room because the inside of the window would start to grow mould, so I had to sleep every night with a sleep mask... but at the same time it was great having my own place. I think next time I look for a place I am going to take care to find something that appears to be well insulated and comfortable.
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"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
Taking a break.
