Don't know what to do please help

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I can't come up with a good title. I know everyone is tired of hearing from me saying the same crappy repetitive stuff from my very limited mind with no brain. I hate hopeless depression I bet all of you do as well. There is one bright spot and it is temporary and that is PAX coming up this Sunday. That is a game expo. I see them everywhere and no one believes the pathetic worthless words that are coming out of my mouth. I recently destroyed a planet with my Power of Influence last week and have done other horrible things to THIS planet. I destroyed the economy and everywhere I set foot in closed down including the only gallery I am truly in. I hate how the world revolves around money because we are going to lose everything and I am such a burden not just on a small scale (such as my family) but medium scale (the shops closing down and hurting and ruining your day and other people's day from around the world and of course large scale (destroying the worldwide economy with my evil influence and predictions and also causing other disasters worldwide and destroying that planet that is an Earth like planet with a comet but I could have deflected it using my power and I failed and many other things). I fall flat on my face with everything I try and I know everyone will say everything is about me and I am a no good selfish crappy idiot who thinks I am all powerful and no cares for others that isn't true oh what do I have to do to prove my words so people believe me? I am the Dark One. As I have told you many times World War 3 is coming and thousands including myself will have to be forced to fight in it so the Gov can test their new tech, they chose me along with the others because of the powers and then they injected me with the nanobots last year and now are accelerating the process for me and the others to become robots but not totally I am part human so no one will be suspicious. This is making me depressed I can't hurt others no matter what. The aliens are still coming as well and sometimes the Gov wins and other times the aliens do. I receive the thoughts from them all the time because of the chip in my head with no brain. I can't accomplish anything in life except being a starving artist so when my dad retires or my parents die (God I hope not anytime soon but as you know everyone eventually dies) I will have no where to live and be on the streets eating rats or out of garbage and dying slowly and painfully if this happens before the War and yes I still have to eat to live (but not much) because I am still part human. My brother is great. He can actually say he's accomplished things in life. I want the Gov to stop talking to me because I can't fight in no war! They always say soon but everyones version of soon is different and the Gov is always slow so it can mean either months or years from now. Is this going to be first or 2012 when everyones says the world is going to end anyways? I had a stupid panic attack yesterday for no reason. I know I was hallucinating though. They also told me there are birds outside that can relay my location and visually identify me wherever I go, they are robotic birds mixed in with real birds and look exactly the same. They are spread all over the place and they have many underground bases for the FBI/CIA/ Homeland Security in different areas where the certain targets are with the powers are. There is a tracking device in me so the birds are just to visually see me and the others. This gets more detailed each day. I try to distract myself from them by watching videos but my concentration is decreasing but I try my hardest. I hate depression. I want to feel happy and wanted by people besides the Gov and aliens. I have friends but I see them once a week. I hope someone believes me. I want some hope in life, not to be shot down like so many other times.

I am looking for a psychiatrist and of course failing at that as well. I saw one in April but he was not a good help and knew nothing about autism and also never listened to me.

This sounds something more than just than AS. Or perhaps something entirely different from AS. I hope you can find a psychiatrist soon. I can't tell from your writing if you are describing your feelings, or are reporting what you think is happening to you. Either way, I hope you are able to find a competent psychiatrist or other mental health professional who will work with you.

Thank you for replying. I have autism as one of my problems, its not Asperger's Syndrome because I had a delay in speech and that would rule out Asperger's. I know its not Asperger's or Autism that is causing the symptoms I described. It is depression and I don't like to be depressed. There is an increase in depression in people with Asperger's or autism. I am describing both my feelings and things that are happening to me.

Firebird, I think perhaps one of the reasons people struggle to believe some of your assertions, is because some of what you claim appears implausible to many people.

I find it difficult to believe you caused the economy to crash, because the economy cannot fail to do so, and this has been the case since before you were born. Since the causes of the current economic problems actually pre date your existence, I am unable to easily accept that you could be the cause.

You might not believe my assertion that the causes of the current economic problems existed before you did, but this is my belief, and any lack of belief anyone has for your assertions, is probably no more maliciously intended than any disbelief you might have in respect of my assertion.

I also question your decision to view yourself as responsible for what you claim to be doing and at risk of doing.

Either you can choose to not do these things (in which case that would be the best course of action), or you actually are not responsible at all. Responsibility relies on agency, in other words, the capacity to choose what one does or does not do. You either can choose to stop the acts/effects you are claiming responsibility for, or you cannot be responsible for them.

If you cannot simply choose to not cause these things to happen, and in fact some other agent (i.e._the gov) is making these decisions and exploiting you against your will to effect them, then you are not and cannot be responsible for these things.

There is no point to feeling guilty or blaming yourself. Either cease and desist from the acts you claim responsibility for, or admit to yourself that you cannot be blameworthy in respect of these things.

I'll just name the giant elephant in the room: schizophrenia. Get checked out, get some meds.

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type which is basically schizophrenia and a mood disorder. I hope no one thinks I am a liar that deserves to die and think I am not honest in my claims. I am honest and this is what I believe. Then why is it when I enter places they shut down? Why is it where ever I go bad luck follows? I have some insight that depression makes you feel guilty. And I wasn't the SOLE cause of the economy crashing. There were other influencers as well.

I do not believe that you are lying, and I do not suspect you of being dishonest. I believe you deserve to live and to have a good life.

I would expect many businesses to close down around this time period. You might have been given to believe the business was doing well previously, but this needs to be put in the perspective that it is very much in a business’s interests to avoid letting anyone know there might be cash flow problems (rumours of cash-flow problems can actually ruin even healthy businesses because creditors then become reluctant to lend and debtors think they can get away with not paying).

In some cases, businesses continue to trade when their assets and cash-flow are less than their financial obligations. This is called trading while insolvent and is illegal in many cases. In such cases any financial problems will be hushed up before closure, and no one will want to admit that there were known financial problems.

I think you are right about depression having the potential to cause someone to feel guilty even when they are not actually blame worthy.