Chronically depressed - Is There Any Hope?

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Last December I made a promise to myself that I would try to make my life better in 2009. I made a promise that I would get a job, be more social & get back into studying something. I attempted to study, I failed & all at the same time I just wanted to go to sleep & never wake up.

I am in the same situation that I have been for 3 years - jobless, friendless, chronically depressed & questioning whether or not I should keep on trying to succeed. I wish I could get a job but I struggle so much with anxiety that most of the time, even if I do find a potential job, I can't even get to the interview. I have no confidence in myself. I stay home everyday because I don't see the point in doing anything anymore, but I wish that I did & even if I do at times have an interest in something, I am never motivated enough to do it.

I am getting counselling & have been for almost one year but it hasn't helped me with my depression or anxiety. In fact since talking with her I have developed other problems too. I have been referred to an adult mental health service to see a psychiatrist because my counsellor thinks that I need more help than she can give me on her own. She thinks I need medication but I've tried it & not just one sort. It didn't work. I've tried CBT, DBT, group therapy & transitional programs all ending with the same result - depression.

My family hates me too. I am a burden to them & no I am not just imagining it. I hear my mum talking to my grandma on the phone about me and my mum and step dad sitting outside discussing how useless I am. I really don't know what to do. Is there any hope for me? I don't care if I never have a job, or a car, or a house of my own. I just want to go a week without thinking of how nice it would be to die.

http://www.mentalhealth.org.nz/page/15-About-Us



I hope things get better for you soon.

Brittany I can at least tell you that I am more or less in the same boat as you. I suffered tremendously with MDD for the most part of the last 4-5 years. For me therapy has helped, but only slightly. My anxiety meds however have proved to be the biggest help. I don't know how long you were on meds, but I can tell you that it takes time to have an effect. It took me at least 6 months to visibly see my anxiety reduced. Even now almost a year on, I can still see myself moving to a level of less anxiety. The process is slow, and you need to be patient.

My motivation is slowly coming back too. Believe me I was in a very bad state, and I'm not really out yet. There's still a long way to go. My advise would be to take one day at a time, and try not to place any pressure on yourself. In time you will hopefully find yourself getting back to a place of ease. Good luck...

I was on & off several medications (anti-depressants & anti-psychotics) from the ages of 14-16. I know that two years doesn't seem a long time but I did give them a go, at least 6 months for each (sometimes I was taking two at the same time). After that I kind of gave up on them. Now I look back & see that even though I was still depressed, I was studying & did have hope. Now I have none of those things so I probably should have stayed with the meds.



I put as little pressure on myself as anyone could do. Most days I don't even leave the house but I get the impression that that's not really helping. Anyway, it's good to know that there is someone else who understands, but it's bad that you have to go through it too.

Are you in Auckland? What about going to the Autism/Aspie group?

Don't worry I understand what you mean. If staying at home is not really helping, then maybe you need a change in environment. Is it possible to stay at a relatives house, for a few weeks maybe?

Sometimes being at home causes one to become stagnant. Maybe you can try and leave home, on an everyday basis. Like going shopping, or driving around. I know I really enjoy driving, even if it's just around the block. If you are anxious about leaving home, then I suggest trying to be as relaxed as possible at home. Make your time seem as a time out you have taken in order to recover. Don't put pressure on yourself and try and occupy your mind with some activity.

first let me apologize for casting the vote for No. I thought that it is for me not for you.

Now, it doesn't seem that you are such a failure like you think. You did graduate high school right? You manage to operate computer, take care of yourself (bath, brush, behave reasonably, no criminal record right?) so look at the positive side and build on that.

Leave your parents opinion out of the picture. It is just an opinion thus it is irrelevant.
Now can you couple things that you love and job for example can you walk the dogs for money (or joy in the beginning)? Choosing the right job is crucial however you need to know that some things like initial anxiety that EVERYONE has when taking a new job must be endured to get to the greener pastures.

Most jobs require some negotiation/uncomfortable moments. You love animals and are obviously very sensitive thus it is harder for you. Concentrating on just one or two things that you want to accomplish helps to overcome this burden. Thus having a plan with goals helps alot.

If it is easier you can rely on us here to keep you on track.

And I would love to help you as a fellow animal lover. So if I can somehow let me know.

I suggest taking out the things that tie you down. I'm talking about your family. You have a lot on your mind, so try to make this simple: They don't support you in any way --> They are not your family --> You don't need that kind of BS in your life.

This is all I can say because I don't understand things about medication and therapy, cos I've never gone through either but would very much welcome both at the moment.

I went though a similar time in my life at 18, which went on for 2 years. I had no job or friends, rarely left the house and felt unmotivated. Eventaully I got to the stage where I decided I had hurry up and make the most of myself, so I returned to education, chose the most difficult course I was qualified for to increase my job prospects. I focused completely on my studies and it wasn't long before I started to feel more productive. I passed that course and moved on to another at university, where I can also pusue other interests more freely. I'm not saying education is the necessarily the answer for you, but it helped me to get through a time in my life when I was depressed and unmotivated.

Besides, think of how good it would feel to prove to those bastards how wrong they are.