Feeling Manipulated

Post Reply New Topic

Does everyone else constantly wonder if they're being manipulated? It seems like I never know why anyone says anything to me, or what they want from me, or when the niceness is going to turn nasty. If I assume people are being straightforward, they're not. If I assume they're telling the truth, they're not. If I assume they're saying what really is, they're not. And then they end up blaming me for believing what they'd said.
The other disturbing thing about that is that I know that if they're doing that, they're probably also not believing anything I say. If the things they're saying aren't true, they're probably operating on the assumption that the things I'm saying aren't true either. It's so confusing and infuriating.
I know Kris doesn't do that, and I know he doesn't expect me to either, but it still makes it difficult for me to be open and stuff when I constantly have this feeling of will-my-honesty-be-twisted. And it's like whenever I believe that it won't, or whenever I force myself to believe that it won't, it is. I'll put a lot of effort into giving someone the benefit of the doubt, and then find out that I shouldn't have. Of course, whenever I don't give people the benefit of the doubt, I turn out to be wrong. Or is it just that they tell me I'm wrong even when I'm not wrong? Like when you take something seriously, and then people get all offended and say they were just joking.. but it's not always true. Sometimes they're just claiming that they were joking so that they don't get into trouble.
Is it even possible to tell before you've been manipulated, though?
It's like manipulative people actually hold it against me that I believed things that they said. I don't get it.
Maybe I should get my lips sewn shut and keep my fingers in mittens.

A boy in my class once told me that his mother had died in a car crash when he was two.

I'm not good at remembering facts about people, so I made a point of remembering this, to avoid any of the long list of social errors that could be made with this.

So an hour or so later, someone else in the library (where we were at the time) said something to him about his mother, and I said, "His mum's dead, he told me," and I was quite proud I'd actually remembered something that would often go right over my head. And then the boy says, "I was only joking, as if you believed that, you gullible idiot."

I've come to the conclusion that this boy is some kind of sicko. I mean, really, who would "joke" about something like that?

They have to warp you to feel better about themselves.

If they feel good about themselves they don't need to change you. That's the sort of people I like to hang out with.

If you work out who has tried to manipulate you, pretend they are still manipulating you (play along), but when they leave, ignore everything.

It's about them feeling good about themselves and not much else.

If they respected you as a human they would just be honest.

Let them leave with the hollow vanity they so need, but not with your heart.