disfuntional family

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there is one thing i want to say before i get into it.

i do love my mom. she is the only support system i currently have. yes she does do many other messed up things that i may, may not get into later, but i have learned to deal with her for the most part so these things don't happen two often. so she isn't a bad person, just a little messed up in the head at times.

ok this situated only happened twice from what i can remember. now i have NEVER once touched anyone in anger in my life, even though at times as a small child i was physically abused by both parents. one night a few years ago me and my mom screaming at each other in the kitchen about something and then all of a sudden out of nowhere grabs the biggest knife she can, trying to hand it to me, telling me go ahead and do it because aperently "it feels like i'm stabbing her with my words" that stopped me dead in my tracks, completly speachless, not knowing what to say. but at the same time part of me wanted to do it because it made me so angry that she would do that to me.

the first time she did that is when i was still in high school or middle school, but that time it was for me to hit her.

woah,
that is not cool, u did the right thing by not actually stabbing her when she handed u the knife and encoraged u to.

bringing in some professionals would be useful.