Where should I go for help?

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Where does an Aspie woman my age go for help when she can't find nor keep a job and has no one? Do I just curl up and die?

Greentea,
Can't really answer the question, or maybe I can. It's sort of related. The question I want to answer is----What skill do I possess that I might not be cashing in on?

OK. This is what I think. Mind you, it is only my opinion...it could be overly rosey and you don't like that, and it's definitely a bit verbose and I know you hate verbosity... But please listen up anyway.

There was a fairly recent very lovely thread [one of my favorite WP threads actually] in which you posted some of your absolutely amazing photographs taken on the Jerusalem tours you like to participate in. I commented that you have skill and maybe should change careers. You may have thought it was merely a casual flippant remark. Nothing could be further from the truth, about being flippant. Earlier today I was thinking how this could be expanded upon...

Talent in photography obviously depends on equipment as well as technique. The former is somewhat dependent on one's wealth, in order to afford the best. The latter is a matter of training and experience. But there is a third quality that is not so easy to assess. It is an aesthetic thing. Photography is an art. To my way of thinking it is a fine art, just like producing a painting or forming a sculpture... although it may not seem so highly creative as painting a famous picture--like a Monet, VanGogh, Rembrandt, Michaelangelo or Picasso. Photography can very much be the same kind of aesthetic endeavor.

Your expertise is in the aesthetic appeal of your photographs. Every detail of your pictures is exquisite. The love in your heart comes through in your photography. I can only compare that quality to VanGogh because he was obviously the master at translating his heart's passion into a work of art. You seem to have a similar kind of talent with photography.....an artist's approach that is often lacking in the highest quality, technically flawless photos. A photographer can have the best equipment money can buy, they can have years of training and decades of high paid experience....but without that aesthetic expertise, their photos can never go beyond being technically perfect in a superficial flat sterile way. They won't have the kind of appeal that tugs at your heart and makes you feel the passion in the photographer's soul.

Photography is a form of communication.

Yes, I realize you are only a novice. This, however, is my suggestion: If you enjoy photography, and if you can put aside or scrape up enough money to support it.....Throw yourself into it--body, mind and soul. Become obsessed with it. You know, don't you, that you are an extremely gifted writer? How about writing articles concerning your various tours, accompanied with dazzling photographs.....and then sell them to artsy and travel-related magazines for publishing? You'd have to work out the copyright angle...but once that is taken care of, you could send them all over the world! Why not? You live in a special place. You have enormous talent in writing and photography. Maybe it's time to pull all these resources together and become self-employed?

Thank you, Alba. I'm keeping parts of your post in my special folder, I just loved the things you said.

I could write a book and insert the photos tonight, I could write another book next week, same thing. And probably a third one and a fourth one too. That's how much material I've gathered. I have lots of material, and an idea that's not been done. Problem is that I have a fixed budget, so I need a salary and not an eventual income from royalties that no one knows how long they may take to come, if ever. I have lots of skills and a few talents that I could use for freelance work, I have 2 professions too, and master 3 languages at mother tongue level. And yet freelancing is not for me, due to the incompatibility between irregular income and my fixed budget. I know people who left their jobs and started freelancing, but none of them were totally alone with rent and food to pay each month. This is why I started trying to get a diagnosis, so I could have rent covered by social security, and would work freelance for the food and utilities. But that's not coming out well either.

And I can't bring myself to start searching for the upteenth job, with this economy and my age it'll take months if not years to find one, only to be fired for the upteenth time after a few months because "something about her is weird".

I look back at the times when I was able to make a living on my own, without anyone's help, and I can't believe that was me. It all seems like a previous life now. Nowadays, for anything you want to do, you have to be part of "the gang" in some gang, whichever...

Credit where credit is due. You are amazingly talented. This is just a temporary rough patch. For now, keeping all options on the table is both prudent and wise. Please don't throw anything in the trash just yet. You could make a list of your options and review it daily for new insights.

There needs to be a balance in your pursuits. By all means check the newspapers, bulletin boards and all venues for available jobs. But also, I would suggest putting less effort into WP, and more effort into producing something tangible, that will give your self esteem a boost. Even if no one in the world appreciates your talents, you must identify and appreciate them yourself. And you must use them, even if they don't help you to survive financially. However, unlike some of the rest of us, your skills are highly marketable. But....you are like the rest of us in that you apparently don't have what it takes to be a team player. Continuing to look for, and accept, jobs with that requirement is not the best option.

Have you checked out the women's organizations and support groups in your area?

Personally I love Tai Chi. It helps me on every level--to cope with problems and setbacks. I don't do it every day, but the days I do---everything seems a bit easier.

Another personal example. I try to make time for things I enjoy. I happen to be a terrible artist. Nevertheless, I love to paint and draw. It makes me happy and amuses me. The other day I created a small watercolor painting, and every time I look at it, it fills me with rapturous delight. It's not very good. I don't even know what there is about it that makes me so delirious with joy. What a gift! A gift from myself to myself.

My ramblings have been humble attempts to nudge you in that direction...to create what makes you happy.

Thank you, Alba. I do engage in my hobbies all the time, and it's really nice. But the unemployment money is little and going fast and I've no plans for after they're gone. It's the first time in my life that I have no ideas.

I'll try the 2 women's organizations now, maybe they can give me ideas. It's very hard to get help because people can't understand the problem - generally they haven't heard of someone with a social problem that can't be helped because it's neurologically wired. They just see someone talented and skilled and intelligent and tell me to get my act together and go find work and a husband, and do another 30 years of therapy.

Well, I was quick doing homework. The municipality's Autism and AS person will call me and my regional social welfare social assistant will give me an appointment. The 2 Women's organizations are on vacation now and will reopen in a couple days. I hope someone out of these 4 can help me...

Greentea, my (current) solution to my problems with employment was to find a part-time job that is relatively structured and requires very little interaction with other people. Although it is technically an office job, it is not a typical office job. I come into work, log-in to the computer system, work until the end of my shift, and then go home. Management is quite happy with me because I arrive on time, do not take excessive breaks or mess around, and I achieve the targets. I do not have to socialise, play office politics, or any of the usual bs. Furthermore, a lot of my co-workers are rather strange, so I blend in.

Neither the job nor my life are perfect. For one thing, I make just enough money to get by, but that is it. I could increase my hours, but I like working part-time because that gives me time to spend on my main interest (which is really the only thing that is keeping me going).

Anyway, I hope those organisations you contacted can help. We would miss you around here if you "just curl[ed] up and die[d]".

Thank you so much, Logan! I thought about that possibility too, it really suits me. The problem is what do I tell them when they ask why I want to go from a middle level job to an entry level job that doesn't use all those flamboyant skills and experience I have?

Greentea, I don't know how things work in the Middle East but have you tried working for a temporary employment agency? I have been doing that since I became semi-retired and it is ideal for an Aspie. Employers hire temps to do the hyper-focusing, tedious grunt work that most Aspies excel at and the NT's can't do because they are too busy socializing. Since you are a temp your are judged only by the work you do and playing the social game is considered a negative. They want you to work and that is it. The temp agency does the leg work in finding you a job because if you aren't working they aren't making money. I'll be doing this for one more week and then I start school full-time the following week.

Yes, I had thought about that possibility too. Thank you for confirming that it's as good an option as I thought. I'll start contacting agencies about it.

In the UK, there are several charitable organisations which try to help people with "disabilities" find work. I have never dealt with any of them before because I do not have a formal diagnosis, but I know that a local one has helped people get work at my current place of employment. Hopefully some of those organisations you mentioned will be able to help you out.

Metal_Man mentioned temporary employment agencies. A couple of years ago, I quit my job and moved. (A lot of the reasons I quit that job were the usual problems cited by people with AS who work in a typical office environment.) In the first few months in the city I moved to, I approached several temporary agencies in an effort to find work. My initial attempts did not go well. In a couple of instances a staff member --the "gatekeeper"-- glanced at my CV/resume, and then handed it back to me saying that they could not help me. At some other agencies, a staff member --for some strange reason these are always young ladies-- glanced at my CV, asked me a couple of questions (the nature of which, indicated that they had not really read my CV), and then said to me that they would call in a few days when they had work. They were, of course, lying, which was obvious even to me because they did not bother to have me register with them. (Registration involves filling out a lot of forms and making photocopies of your identification.) To this day, I am still puzzled as to why they felt it necessary to lie to me. A couple of other agencies did bother to go through the registration process, but never called to offer me work. Anyway, I eventually found an agency that was willing to sign me up and find work for me. The assignments were, as Metal_Man stated, relatively tedious and monotonous tasks that "normal" people hate to do. The clients were quite happy to have someone who showed up to work on time, who quietly went about getting the job done, and who did not waste time chatting and goofing off. Being a good worker, in this sense, makes the agency look good, which in turn makes them happy and so they continued to find lots of work for me.

You are right to be concerned about your age and experience. As you well know, in most modern societies it is generally expected that individuals with a university degree will get a corporate job, work their way up the corporate ladder, building "networks" as they go, etc. Most of the other temporary workers I encountered were in their early to mid twenties, and were trying to get a foothold onto the world of work. I am a bit older than that, but a bit younger than you, and I have an advanced degree. I do wonder if some of the initial difficulties I encountered were because people looked at my CV and thought, “why the hell does this guy want to do dull, temporary work?” At one of the agencies which did register me, but never offered me any work, the young lady who looked over my forms commented on my educational background and said, “what a waste”. When agencies asked why I left my previous job, I said it was because I wanted to move back home. This was a plausible explanation, but a lie. (Basically, at my last “normal” job, I reached the conclusion that I could either blow my brains out, or leave. Since I did not own a gun, I left.) By the time I finally found the agency which did register me and find work for me, I had been unemployed for several months. I told the woman who interviewed me that I had been seeking working since leaving my last job and moving, and I was currently looking for temporary work while I continued to look for work elsewhere. Although this was true, I think she just assumed that I was looking for permanent work in my former field. Also, had anyone asked the typical prospective employer question about what weakness I have, I thought about saying something along the lines of “I have difficulty processing nonverbal communication and interpersonal information”, which is a typical symptom of AS, but that never came up. (Again, I do not have a formal diagnosis.)

Inspired by Harvey Pekar, of “American Splendor” < http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0305206/ >, I spent several months applying for part-time filing clerk jobs in NHS hospitals, and for part-time shelving clerk jobs at various universities. The (electronic) application forms always asked for my work history and educational qualifications. I never received an interview request from any of those employers. I suspect this was because the people who looked over my application saw my work and educational background and thought, “why the hell does this guy want to do this dull job?” I started to think about trying to get a formal diagnosis because then I could at least list that under the “disabilities” section of the application form, and hope that it would serve as an answer to that question.

With my current job, the application form did ask for my work history for the past five years, but it did not ask about my educational background. (By that point, my work history included several months of unemployment, followed by several months of temp work, which may have helped appearances.) The testing and interviewing process was highly focused on trying to determine whether or not I could do the job. Although they did ask for the addresses of my former employers, they did not ask for specific people to contact at those places, or for references in general. I got the distinct impression that about half to two-thirds of the initial candidates were eliminated because they did not show up to the interview and assessment, or they did not bring the required documents with them, or they did not pass the assessment test (which is basically a simplified version of the job). They seem to have hired pretty much everyone else. In this way, I often feel like I really lucked out by finding this job. (For anyone living in the UK who is reading this, my employer will be doing another round of hiring at the end of this year or the beginning of next year, so feel free to PM me if you would like further information.)

Anyway, I hope this helps. And sorry about the delay in replying. Even though I only work part time, my life is still very busy and draining, and so I do not get back to WP as often as I would like.

Good luck!

I've found this to be true as well.


You may find it preferable to play down your experience, when applying to temp agencies. Generally you don't want to appear over qualified . You will want to tailor your presention so as to qualify and make your skills desirable to the agencies with whom you apply.


Been years ago.....again, this was more or less true in my case also. For an Aspie, it's ideal. Oftentimes socializing is neither expected nor required. Quality of work and conscientiousness count in spades. Some of the best jobs I've had were with temp agencies, about 50-60 total. I attained a very wide range of skills over a variety of unrelated fields..occasionally getting the "you're overqualified" remark, following graduation from college. The agencies ask their workers to specify preference for assignment duration and which days of the week. They could entirely accommodate ANY schedule.

Some assignments were tedious and boring, and I couldn't wait to be done with them. Others were fascinating wonderful jobs and I was sorry when they ended. A few turned into fabulous permanent full time or part time jobs. There was more than one occasion in which a firm was willing to train me to do something incredible, and their only requirement was that the employee be bright and able to follow instructions. I was frequently reluctant to take on these assignments, but the temp agencies pushed me into accepting them.....the reason being, they had no one else (or very few) they felt confident in sending out on such jobs. woo-hoo! So nice to be wanted, appreciated and valued. There were times I really messed up, or so I thought. The agencies usually told me I did fine, and besides they had no one else they could send. What a relief. Almost no job pressure at all..

Temp agencies gave me all the jobs NTs hate, as they had very few workers able to do them well. It was a case of demand exceeding supply, in my favor. I excelled at these jobs because they were very easy for me, and required zero socialization. Way cool. Perfect. What they didn't like--the temp agencies and their client firms--were my clothes. I wore affordable clothes I was comfortable in, and they didn't go over very well. Not a spiffy enough image. There were many many complaints about my attire. Oh well. The agencies tolerated my rather bizarre image, because in every other way I was the model temp worker, and I thoroughly enjoyed my work. I was a happy camper. It was very appropriate for my natural proclivities and temperment.

I'm quite sure they had to warn every client firm to which they sent me, that my attire was horrible but clients often raved about the quality of my work. The attire issue came up over and over, everywhere. Apparently I was often asked for by name, but the client firms requested that I dress more professionally. However, there were usually no shortage of job offers to choose from, in spite of the way I dressed. I don't like shopping and wasn't rich, so buying professional clothes was out of the question.

Not ever being much of a team player wasn't really a factor, for if it had been, I would have been disqualified. Then I found tech work, where my attire and appearance didn't matter squat, and most of my coworkers were Aspies anyway, who like me, placed an extremely low--almost nonexistent--priority on socializing and being a team player. What mattered to the tech firms was doing your job and doing it well..social skills? who needs 'em. Those were the good old days. But tech firms are still the best places for an Aspie to work. ..

Yes, temping can be a good solution for me, even though pay is much less than on permanent jobs because you don't get the associated benefits. But the idea of moving on before you're made a scapegoat is tempting.