Feeling pessimistic. Why?

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Why is it that lately I have been not looking at life effectively?

To get down to it, I care so much about what other people think about me. What can I say, I am an insecure person. I like to be praised and hate the feeling of being rejected. However, why do I feel this way? Why can I not just enjoy being the nerdy guy I am and focus on my education a little more?

I am constantly trying to predict the future, and seeing things like: oh, you'll never become a scientist; oh, that girl will just reject you; oh, you will probably die a lonely drunk. What causes me to look down on myself so much? I bet if I put half of the energy needed to think this way into studying, I could achieve a lot.

I almost feel like I need to have everything now, but I am afraid to face the work I need to do to get there. I wish I could learn how to put my mind on track in the right direction, but I always come back to a negative mindset.

I know I will need to go outside the bounds of my comfort zone to get through this. I just feel lost. I feel like I am underachieving in life while not willing to do anything about it.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be liked and accepted by people. Most people probably feel insecure in this way.

Look at it this way: If you don't want to work too hard on your career and accept minimum wage work you will already know where you will end up. But if you decide to work hard on your career and follow your passions and goals, who knows how much you will achieve?

yeah, most of the time. because i'm always misunderstood, stupid, friendless (though i got one best friend), incapable of socializing with others, got no love life, can't get along with my mom, and the fact that i'll never get ahead in life. i guess it'll make me a loser for life.

my wise friend just told me that time goes on.

[quote="ForsakenEagle"]Why is it that lately I have been not looking at life effectively?


I am constantly trying to predict the future, and seeing things like: oh, you'll never become a scientist; oh, that girl will just reject you; oh, you will probably die a lonely drunk. What causes me to look down on myself so much? I bet if I put half of the energy needed to think this way into studying, I could achieve a lot.

quote]

Well, the constant preoccupation with the future is probably attributable to AS, since we (speaking from experience, here) need to feel like we have a game plan in place ahead of time. This sort of angst is one of my major character flaws and sources of anxiety.

All that I can say is that, from a phenomenological point of view, we each create our own reality, and that (within reason) the opinions of others should not matter to you at all. However, it takes a long time to accept, let alone sublimate this insight. Best of luck.

I can certainly relate to the OP, at least for the last thirty something years of my life
its been like that and no amount of thinking to change life or attempts at non AS skills have really moved much.

That's a BIG problem with me as well. I too have been rejected by women more times than I care to count. For a while, I thought that the phrase "it's not you it's me" was complete and total BULLCRAP.

I said it before in another post, but I am sure many people on here rely to much on "let them come to ME, and introduce THEMSELVES... at least that releases the burden on ME." I also had (and still do) have the notion of "if they are truly interested in me, they'll talk to me".

I can also fully relate to you "predicting the future". Yes, it does seem we CAN predict the future when the outcome is usually the same.

I've told some people I know that I am high functioning autistic, and usually their response is "you seem perfectly normal to me", but perhaps it's not a bad idea to bring it up, because the behaviors will kick in and your friends that aren't part of the spectrum will need to understand this.