giving the willfullyignorant the tonguelashing of theirlives

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sometimes i just feel so compelled to offer a piece of my mind
i could be entirely wrong about it. but this kind of thing just grated on my nervesss.
an excerpt from a different thread in the Love & Dating section

actually the high rate of divorces could very well have something more to do with a rise in the birth of cynics like you.

you describe the cheapest crude sort of "selfish love" which for all intents and purposes is utterly false. a product so self-denial, delusion, and weak people clinging to supposed "relationship-type attention" like a liferaft.

if you think that's love, then you have not the slightest clue what it means. love is not a state of being or noun. it is a verb, an action, continuous.
the the closest you'll ever come to knowing what it means is when you find someone you connect with so deeply that you fear that you'll find no other like them. but fear is selfish.
and when you can learn that to love someone in a pure sense "pure love", you've got to do some soul-searching and discover what really makes you happy, and if it's that person, then you're onto something. then if you can come to terms with the selfish aspect of yourself, admit to it, and overcome it, and willfully and mindfully cast out that one such element from your feelings for that person then you might come to realize that that person's own happiness can make you happier than anything else for reasons you don't understand, and find yourself willing to do anything in your power to maintain that, even if it ultimately means letting them go. even if the feelings are then unreturned. to be so unselfish as to not pursue despite personal emotional pain, if you can admit to yourself the truth that it might be best for them, and that it is their choice.

that is where the saying, "if you love it, set it free (because if it loves you too it will return willingly)" that small saying alone has some of the deepest & important life implicationsi've ever come across.

and if you can accept even that, and still love someone all the same even though they may hurt you,it is then that such love trancends to "unconditional love", because un no condition is it likely to cease. the kind of thing that will survive even the eternal ravages hell's tortures and reinforce your heart with warmth on the coldest lonely desolate night when nothing else seems right and you feel yourself falling to pieces.

but to allow yourself such love in the first place, you have to make yourself vulnerable so that it may have a chance to grow.
whether you're a cynic because of bad experiences, having never reached such a point, but having achieved many painful early failures in the process.
or whether because you've erected protected walls around yourself and just have yet to find yourself willing to risk your sense of safety for the chance of something more, i have no clue.
it is also something that takes some extent of maturity to comprehend in such a way and integrate. maybe there lies your problem.

Love is an other-centered *action* not always related to emotion, and there are actually four kinds of "love" ranging from simple instinct whereby a mother attends to the need of a child (even if it is not her own) ... and all the way to literally laying one's own life down for the sake of another (as in "taking a bullet" for the other guy).

Within that range of *action*, other instincts cause us to feel attraction and begin to display "love" in its simplest form just by acknowledging the other person even exists ... and a "promise-to-love contract" of one kind or another, even if unspoken, is eventually made if the two people have mutual feelings ... then the emotional "honeymoon" eventually ends when the two realize they "love" the feelings they get when they serve each other and truly begin loving, in action, each other.

irrational statements meant to inflame + OP never coming back to comment in threads = troll

Oh well, I still got to speak my piece full of peace, eh?!

Love even the polling trolls ...

i'm back to comment haha. it was just early in the morning when i posted that, i'd been awake for about 48 hours, and no one replied really for like the next hour afterward so i just turned off my computer for a day-long hibernation recuperation period because i felt like dead people.

and now i'm awake again

you make a good point. thanks for fueling the point i was making with additional info & insight.

haha

I agree and dissagree with both on some things. Here's what my little unedgucated mind thinks. (It's true. I am grosely unedgucated.)

-Material love. I think it goes in hand with food you like, obsessions and stuff like that. Unless your'e some kind of addict.
-Sexual love. something missunderstood or denied
-Romance love. combination of sexul love and emotional bonds. (in my oppinion)
-Family love. Abuse only destroys that.
-Close friendships. I see some people confuse this with sexuality. Close friends are close like family members.
-Obediance love can be very distructive or vice versa, depending...

I disagree with the "unconditional" thing a little. I say get over it first, so you don't get hurt over again. Then you can be better equiped to help your ex in a rational, mature way. Some I met who befriended their ex before recovering, feel more depressed and remember it far longer to the point that they misjudge others.

hmm, well i was referring to the type compatible with a functioning marriage that was made for actual good reasons.

i wasn't thinking materially so much, or the marriage-for-convenience types.

but i like what you have to say. it adds expanded depth to a person's insight to accept openly what others have to say, and what ou have to say i have no problems with and find interesting.