"Slap in the face" style disrespect and put-downs.

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Last night while conversing about what we could say helpful to a friend, while I was speaking bubbybird, my wife, started singing along with her ipod mp3 thing and talking to my cat - note that is while I was speaking.

Not before I spoke this turn, which might be a mistaken belief that I was finished, but during.
Which means she knew I was speaking as my part of the conversation.

Note that the word in use here is conversation - which means a 2-way give-and-take exchange, not a stand-up Shakespearean monologue.
But it is something in which all parties in attendance are participation.
(now I wonder that even though she participated, was she ever "in attendence" to begin with?)

And, no, I am not mistaken about it being a conversation - she replied specifically to what I said, and you can't do that without participating in the conversation, now can you.



I finished what I was saying, then got up and left the room.

As far as I could tell, she did not notice that as she was so lost in her mp3.

And I'm the one in the family with Aspergers, so that's not her excuse.

Talk about "Slap in the face" style disrespect and put-downs

Sent a very clear signal that I and what I have to say are meaningless compared to her mp3.

Okay, her actions have spoken, I now clearly know where I stand in this relationship.

I don't.

I am worthless compared to her Bill Gaither Gospel songs.

And to add a twist of Irony, I bought her the damned thing.

Sometimes when I'm talking to my brother, he'll just get up and walk out of the room as though I'm not even there. I hate it when he does that.

Why, how rude of them.

Did you tell her that you felt disrespected? I know that it should be obvious to her but telling her that the way she acted made you feel disrespected (spoken in gentle tones) might help prevent this happening in future. It was unfair what she did and by doing so she showed disrespect, I hope by gently explaining to her that what she did made you feel bad, that she will consider how she acts in future.

There are other ways of dealing with disrespect of this type, but this is the best opening step in my opinion.

I think that you should tell her how you feel.

I understand that if you've been in domestic violence as a victim that you will have fear, and it will be very very hard to deal with. I hope you are able to learn to deal with your fear. Have you tried self defence training? It can give some mental security back sometimes. When you have learned how to work around the fear, dealing with your sister will be easier.

I have made the assumption that you have been in a domestic violence situation, please correct me if I'm wrong.

I'm sorry, I misunderstood who's who.

Perhaps you need to have councilling, and your wife also. Separatly and together. You and your wife need to learn to communicate better. I can't really offer advice as I've not really experienced in this kind of issue.

Disrespect is hurtful, it is not an excuse for violence, but the issue of disrespect seems to me that it's not been delt with. A couples councillor may help the issue somewhat, as they are a neutral party and (should be) trained in the art of communication. I think that Adlerian councillors are good, but that's a personal opinion.