Help! I Can't Stand My Brother Anymore!

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He thinks he knows everything and he's about as dumb as a rock!

This is how he sees the world: I'm always wrong no matter what I do and everything I do is open to his criticism. We don't speak the same language. He talks in abstract terms I don't even understand and he turns around and tells everybody else "You can't tell him anything." (The "him" he's talking about is me.) I'm neither interested nor do I care about anything he has to tell me.

i really can't escape him because we live in a small town in the midwest, and I would love to escape from this place but my job is nearby.

He criticizes my taste in music. He says I listen to women's music. Where in the mp3 tags does it tell us whether it's men's or women's music? I see name, time, artist, album, genre, composer, size, disc #, track #, year, kind, bit rate, and sample rate, but I don't see an entry for sex or gender on the mp3 tags. I told him that and he got upset.

Last week he told me that I just don't get it. I asked him to define the "it" that I didn't get and he got upset again. It's not my fault he's too dumb to know what "it" means.

He's very annoying.

He's ignorant.

Just learn to deal with him as best you can.

Every time he speaks nonsense just tell him "you're ignorant".

you're not by any chance super-defensive of your own opinions are you?
just curious.

i had a stepbro who always seemed to have to be right.
turns out was sorta that way too
maybe why we clashed on so many issues and i thought he was annoying.
same time though the guy's awesome, we get along good aside from that.
as long as we're not arguing a point that is

you guys ever try reaching out and finding something you both agree on?
if you don't like the current relationship, try changing it.
people are supposed to be able to be versatile like that.

if not, it's honestly not a huge thing in the first place. i've seen bigger problems arise from 5 yr olds.
and this "crisis" reeks of exactly such level of immaturity.

"mom, todd's picking on me!"
"has there been any fists flying yet?"
"ummm....well no actually"
"sticks & stones billy, sticks & stones. just ignore him"
"but he keeps on doing it..."
"well, if you were ignoring him you wouldn't care about that now would you?"

Well said Seanmw.

My brother and I are on totally different planets in every respect but I love him and respect him.
Learn to say 'that's ok, we just see things different, we each have our own view of the world.

You did not say if he was younger or older - if he is 18 this is normal for the age group.
If there is no physical violence or if he has not ripped off your SS# then let it go. Perhaps he has some insecurity issues.
You need to become more comfortable with yourself, your intelligence, your personality.

thanks, and well aid on your part as well

idk, calling people ignorant in response every time just sounds like asking for trouble and fueling a fire that the person's trying to put out in the first place.

who knows, maybe he's not even all that ignorant. maybe he just has his own issues and needs to lash out at someone. that's not ignorant, that's being too lost in your own troubles to be repentant of what you're doing if you even realize the damage you're doing at all on a conscious level. and it's not excusable, but understandable, and to be pitied.

there's a reason for everything. "bad" & "good" are perceptions of man and as fallible as man if not more so. his way of being may seem "good" to him, and "bad" to you morals aside. but he has to operate from his own perspective and maybe this is just his defense against reality. his behavior may be bad, but only because he feels it's either the easiest way to be, or because is too blinded by it all to see other alternatives beyond it, or even the root of his problem so that he may fix it. lost in his own labyrinth chased by his own personal inner demon or "minotaur". rest of the world be damned, for there is no easy way to kill the minotaur. most don't consider it, most run until they can no more and are consumed.

or i could be entirely wrong. i'm just showing you there's more than a million sides to each coin. and you must consider a great many to be effective in understanding anything. because life has innumerable factors. and we shallow human beings only scratch it's surface with our sad attempts at order and generalization. you can blame their outer actions, but canyou condemn their sorry reasoning and inner machinations for being what they are? his subconscious motives that even he knows not truly himself that drive him?

no, fuel not the fire. but compromise and resolve. if it must come it fists or if there can be no possible resolve and confrontation cannot be avoided, then it is acceptable to do what you must.

but we did not come at the very least 2000 years through our history to still be cultivating such childishness and poor behavior off the get-go. last resort option when nothing else will work anyhow

and why do i feel so compelled to breed understanding??? i'm not even entirely sure why i'm writing all this. i feel silly now. who's to say anyone will read this far anyway...
i'm not sure if some parts even made sense.

I read it all, and it made perfect sense.

It also made me somewhat embarrassed to post what I was about to post. Your post is so much more mature and eloquent.

Are you able to avoid him? That would mean less stress for you as he would have difficulty getting in your face if he couldn't find you. Seanmw has usefull points, though it may be hard for you to utilise his advise when you're mad at your brother. If you can give yourself time and space away from him, for you to feel your own feelings, perhaps you'll then be able to find a solution that helps the both of you.

My brother is like that with the type of music and the friends i hang out with, whats even worse is his friends start to join in with him at it... do you ever get time to yourself at times? Thats what i sometimes do

Wow, guess i was lucky . . . im the oldest of three, but we pretty much got over our differences over a decade ago. Then again, it was always a democracy with us (2:1, majority rules). Granted, we all shared the same interests, and all of us corrected the other with information. Find some common ground if at all possible, if not . . . well, arguing isnt going to cure his issues with your music. If he detests it so much ,tell him to go to his room and listen to his own.

oh umm thanks i guess

so much to learn. one thing is that life ultimately has no villains. in some way or another those we try to label as such are all victims there are a thousand factors both conceivable and inconceivable that can lead to this sad state. they may do terrible things when they lash out at the world and they may not necessarily realize they are victims or use their pain or discontent to justify it. they may not even justify it on a conscious level they may just seem to do it on reflex, making them appear to just be bad people, but everyone holds the potential for both ways. if they're being bad it's because something tipped their scale in that direction. cause and effect. the human mind so utterly complex and up to speculation that it may be impossible to identify such and prove it. but by the fact that it makes perfect sense and by the known law i have provided: cause and effect which undeniably supports this or otherwise disproves itself and the law is void and we are just that much more cast back into the stone age darkness of misunderstanding and general confusion from which we came.

not to say that we can be soft with every such unruly and tormented soul. utterly impractical and inefficient. we'd waste away our lives building rehab facilities. utterly absurd. because some are damaged irreparably. some have tricked themselves into thinking there is no way out and can be uncommonly stubborn about it. some are born with chemical imbalances or are otherwise victims of more permanent and inherent problems, some treatable, some incurable that make them susceptible to violent behavior. you must take in all factors. it's prolly why we have more prison capacity to handle such people than mental wards and couseling resources combined. because while ideally it should be best to set all such things to rights or try and strive toward world peace, we'd all starve, economy would collapse, etc for what is necessary at this point to rally the resources solely for such a project of such staggering magnitude. that's not even just adressing the current problem cases. with that sorta thing you'd have to take pre-emptive measures with every living person, and the program would have to be continuously upheld into infinite. therefore we have to cut the line somewhere. why do you think there's a such thing as a death sentence? it's another way of telling that person, "hey, we're sick and tired of your shenanigans, rather unfortunate things have come to pass because of you, idk where things went wrong and you turned into this, but we now feel that you shouldn't be allowed to live any further because you're an inconvenience, or maybe even a mistake in the judicial system and completely innocent, but who knows. goodbye" but the world is riddled with ignorance so slap some heavy emotions on that picture, label one side "villain" and the other side "justice", and pretty soon everyone's lost all over again in their own little fantasy lands and self-justifications and petty name-calling.

My sister drives me crazy, as well. When I treat myself to a slice of Birthday cake, or pie, she says, "You shouldn't be eating that!" She talks about how her baby daughter takes these great big poos. She brushes off every concern that I have, on any given day, and she doesn't take into account that I'm wearing pull-ups when she talks to "Grandma" (mum) about my niece's bowel movements. My sister is too much into the coming century to understand anything about Mod, and she says that I listen to man's music. I really do hope that my niece ends up with Asperger's. Maybe than, will she change her tune about me.

I know I'm responding to the replies two weeks later, but I wasn't on the internet recently. I got upset so I haven't done anything in the last two weeks except eat, shower, and go to work. I didn't even talk to anybody.

I don't even live with my brother, but we live in the same small town. He knocked on my door all week while yelling "I know you're in there.", but of course I didn't answer. I was "in one of my moods again". When I do that, everybody I know just says "He's in one of his moods again."

I'm 22, I'm an adult, I should be able to listen to whatever I please and drive whatever kind of car I please without anyone's criticism. My brother's 28 years and I don't get why he even cares what I listen to or what kind of car I drive.