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I am going to commit suicide. I have to do it

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Praetor2379
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02 Nov 2009, 6:25 pm

I've come to the conclusion that I simply don't belong in the world. I just don't fit right. I am just one of those types of people born wrong. The world would be better off without me,. People don't know what to make of me, and I'm sure there's even people afraid of me. I don't know whether I'm a good person or not. My mind says I'm not but my heart says I am. Life is like climbing a huge hill that I'll never reach the top. I am not doing great in school. I've never been involved romatically. I need to just die. Ive been dealing with this for a year. I try the best I can but my best is not good enough. To make things worse I have an infatuation and the object of my infatuation is sitting probably 10 meters away from as I write this. It sucks. Im surrounded by gorgous girls and have absolutely no way to approach them unless they approach me and known do. I want to die. Oh god.


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xalepax
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02 Nov 2009, 6:35 pm

Hello fellow roadseaker. Im xalepax and I also have Asperger Syndrome. I can understand how you feel, I have been there too. But right now I want you to listen to what Your Heart says - that You Are A Good Person. Every person have not either fully bad or good. We do mistakes and we can feel bad but everyone have a value on earth.

Talk to us, scream with us and cry with us. Spit out all the anger you have inside you, but dont set off dying! You are still so young and have a lot to discover and your parents will certainly miss you!


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Tach
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02 Nov 2009, 6:51 pm

I've thought of doing this myself at times, however I have always come to this conclusion, that just killing yourself won't prove anything. If you kill yourself, you will just prove those who screwed with you right. If you want to learn how to approach someone, just ask for help here, and people WILL help. You however have to find a purpose in life. If anything you should look around for things to do, they normally won't just come to you, however you need to find motivation to do something you feel is important. Love isn't everything, sometimes you can only get done what you need to do without anyone in the way. One thing I've learned is that sometimes, the only way to do something important to you, is to be alone, because if you are distracted, you will fail. Find your purpose in life, and remember that suicide isn't the answer, it's only a coward's way out of doing what they need to do. The question is, are you going to find the courage to do what you really want, or are you going to take the coward's route and screw yourself over by killing yourself. If you kill yourself, you won't have any way to do anything you feel important, however if you stick it out, you'll find that sometimes, you may have a purpose you don't realize yet.
In the end it boils down to this, most times when we want to kill ourselves, it's because we've lost all hope. The problem with losing hope is the fact that even if you don't think you can now, you have a possiblity of pulling it off later. If you love someone, then I suggest you rehearse in front of a mirror, and try to woo them. The thing is that if you want to succeed, you need to understand that if you don't have guts, you won't get the glory. The fact is that even those who don't feel like they have a place in the world, really do. The reality of life is that it sucks, however if you want to change that, it takes your deciding to change what's wrong. In the end, if you want to prove you have a purpose, you have to prove it to yourself first.

Remember this: You always have a reason for being, you just haven't realized what it is yet. People aren't born just to exist, they are born to do something important, and people who kill themselves usually don't realize that they are just screwing over those around them and those who they could have influenced or helped. If you want to have a purpose, do what your good at, and try to help those around you. If you help those who need help, people will help you in turn. If you just kill yourself, then you have accomplished nothing except ruining any chances you had of doing something important.


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Praetor2379
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02 Nov 2009, 7:03 pm

Tach wrote:
I've thought of doing this myself at times, however I have always come to this conclusion, that just killing yourself won't prove anything. If you kill yourself, you will just prove those who screwed with you right. If you want to learn how to approach someone, just ask for help here, and people WILL help. You however have to find a purpose in life. If anything you should look around for things to do, they normally won't just come to you, however you need to find motivation to do something you feel is important. Love isn't everything, sometimes you can only get done what you need to do without anyone in the way. One thing I've learned is that sometimes, the only way to do something important to you, is to be alone, because if you are distracted, you will fail. Find your purpose in life, and remember that suicide isn't the answer, it's only a coward's way out of doing what they need to do. The question is, are you going to find the courage to do what you really want, or are you going to take the coward's route and screw yourself over by killing yourself. If you kill yourself, you won't have any way to do anything you feel important, however if you stick it out, you'll find that sometimes, you may have a purpose you don't realize yet.
In the end it boils down to this, most times when we want to kill ourselves, it's because we've lost all hope. The problem with losing hope is the fact that even if you don't think you can now, you have a possiblity of pulling it off later. If you love someone, then I suggest you rehearse in front of a mirror, and try to woo them. The thing is that if you want to succeed, you need to understand that if you don't have guts, you won't get the glory. The fact is that even those who don't feel like they have a place in the world, really do. The reality of life is that it sucks, however if you want to change that, it takes your deciding to change what's wrong. In the end, if you want to prove you have a purpose, you have to prove it to yourself first.

Remember this: You always have a reason for being, you just haven't realized what it is yet. People aren't born just to exist, they are born to do something important, and people who kill themselves usually don't realize that they are just screwing over those around them and those who they could have influenced or helped. If you want to have a purpose, do what your good at, and try to help those around you. If you help those who need help, people will help you in turn. If you just kill yourself, then you have accomplished nothing except ruining any chances you had of doing something important.


I don't believe in God. There has to be a God before you can be born with purpose. Otherwise your just thrust into existence.


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Llama874
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02 Nov 2009, 8:41 pm

Praetor2379 wrote:
Tach wrote:
I've thought of doing this myself at times, however I have always come to this conclusion, that just killing yourself won't prove anything. If you kill yourself, you will just prove those who screwed with you right. If you want to learn how to approach someone, just ask for help here, and people WILL help. You however have to find a purpose in life. If anything you should look around for things to do, they normally won't just come to you, however you need to find motivation to do something you feel is important. Love isn't everything, sometimes you can only get done what you need to do without anyone in the way. One thing I've learned is that sometimes, the only way to do something important to you, is to be alone, because if you are distracted, you will fail. Find your purpose in life, and remember that suicide isn't the answer, it's only a coward's way out of doing what they need to do. The question is, are you going to find the courage to do what you really want, or are you going to take the coward's route and screw yourself over by killing yourself. If you kill yourself, you won't have any way to do anything you feel important, however if you stick it out, you'll find that sometimes, you may have a purpose you don't realize yet.
In the end it boils down to this, most times when we want to kill ourselves, it's because we've lost all hope. The problem with losing hope is the fact that even if you don't think you can now, you have a possiblity of pulling it off later. If you love someone, then I suggest you rehearse in front of a mirror, and try to woo them. The thing is that if you want to succeed, you need to understand that if you don't have guts, you won't get the glory. The fact is that even those who don't feel like they have a place in the world, really do. The reality of life is that it sucks, however if you want to change that, it takes your deciding to change what's wrong. In the end, if you want to prove you have a purpose, you have to prove it to yourself first.

Remember this: You always have a reason for being, you just haven't realized what it is yet. People aren't born just to exist, they are born to do something important, and people who kill themselves usually don't realize that they are just screwing over those around them and those who they could have influenced or helped. If you want to have a purpose, do what your good at, and try to help those around you. If you help those who need help, people will help you in turn. If you just kill yourself, then you have accomplished nothing except ruining any chances you had of doing something important.


I don't believe in God. There has to be a God before you can be born with purpose. Otherwise your just thrust into existence.


I don't beleive in God either, so hopefully you can identify with me more. You don't beleive in God, so I make the assumption you don't beleive in an afterlife as well. That means that this is the only life you will ever get. I have thought about suicide before. In some ways, I find the atheistic idea of death conforting. A total lack of resposibility. In a way its just like sleeping.

But suicide is wrong way to go. You have at least some instances of pleasure in your daily life, do you not? Maybe something as simple as an "I love you" from your parents? Savor these moments. If nobody finds worth in you, find worth in yourself. Or better yet, make them value you! Do something! Its never too late.

Just think of people like Edgar Allan Poe. He had many down points in his life. I'm sure he considered suicide many times. But he didn't, and that's the important thing. Now we have literary classics, like "The Raven" that are still read to this day.


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Praetor2379
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02 Nov 2009, 9:59 pm

Llama874 wrote:
Praetor2379 wrote:
Tach wrote:
I've thought of doing this myself at times, however I have always come to this conclusion, that just killing yourself won't prove anything. If you kill yourself, you will just prove those who screwed with you right. If you want to learn how to approach someone, just ask for help here, and people WILL help. You however have to find a purpose in life. If anything you should look around for things to do, they normally won't just come to you, however you need to find motivation to do something you feel is important. Love isn't everything, sometimes you can only get done what you need to do without anyone in the way. One thing I've learned is that sometimes, the only way to do something important to you, is to be alone, because if you are distracted, you will fail. Find your purpose in life, and remember that suicide isn't the answer, it's only a coward's way out of doing what they need to do. The question is, are you going to find the courage to do what you really want, or are you going to take the coward's route and screw yourself over by killing yourself. If you kill yourself, you won't have any way to do anything you feel important, however if you stick it out, you'll find that sometimes, you may have a purpose you don't realize yet.
In the end it boils down to this, most times when we want to kill ourselves, it's because we've lost all hope. The problem with losing hope is the fact that even if you don't think you can now, you have a possiblity of pulling it off later. If you love someone, then I suggest you rehearse in front of a mirror, and try to woo them. The thing is that if you want to succeed, you need to understand that if you don't have guts, you won't get the glory. The fact is that even those who don't feel like they have a place in the world, really do. The reality of life is that it sucks, however if you want to change that, it takes your deciding to change what's wrong. In the end, if you want to prove you have a purpose, you have to prove it to yourself first.

Remember this: You always have a reason for being, you just haven't realized what it is yet. People aren't born just to exist, they are born to do something important, and people who kill themselves usually don't realize that they are just screwing over those around them and those who they could have influenced or helped. If you want to have a purpose, do what your good at, and try to help those around you. If you help those who need help, people will help you in turn. If you just kill yourself, then you have accomplished nothing except ruining any chances you had of doing something important.


I don't believe in God. There has to be a God before you can be born with purpose. Otherwise your just thrust into existence.


I don't beleive in God either, so hopefully you can identify with me more. You don't beleive in God, so I make the assumption you don't beleive in an afterlife as well. That means that this is the only life you will ever get. I have thought about suicide before. In some ways, I find the atheistic idea of death conforting. A total lack of resposibility. In a way its just like sleeping.

But suicide is wrong way to go. You have at least some instances of pleasure in your daily life, do you not? Maybe something as simple as an "I love you" from your parents? Savor these moments. If nobody finds worth in you, find worth in yourself. Or better yet, make them value you! Do something! Its never too late.

Just think of people like Edgar Allan Poe. He had many down points in his life. I'm sure he considered suicide many times. But he didn't, and that's the important thing. Now we have literary classics, like "The Raven" that are still read to this day.


Exactly; eternal bliss. Death is simply like a sleep that never ends. That's what I want. Edgar Allan Poe was a terrible writer.


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Llama874
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02 Nov 2009, 10:18 pm

Quote:
Exactly; eternal bliss. Death is simply like a sleep that never ends. That's what I want.


But does it really have to happen now? You sound like you have so much life a head of you!

Quote:
Edgar Allan Poe was a terrible writer.


8O


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Praetor2379
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02 Nov 2009, 10:20 pm

Llama874 wrote:
Quote:
Exactly; eternal bliss. Death is simply like a sleep that never ends. That's what I want.


But does it really have to happen now? You sound like you have so much life a head of you!

Quote:
Edgar Allan Poe was a terrible writer.


8O


I believe it does. What life? A life of social ineptitude? I am going to be alone the rest of my life. What I am going to do when I am 30, 40, or 50 and say I've never had a girlfriend. After the age of 25 if I don't find a girlfriend it will be too late.


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Llama874
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02 Nov 2009, 10:34 pm

Praetor2379 wrote:
Llama874 wrote:
Quote:
Exactly; eternal bliss. Death is simply like a sleep that never ends. That's what I want.


But does it really have to happen now? You sound like you have so much life a head of you!

Quote:
Edgar Allan Poe was a terrible writer.


8O


I believe it does. What life? A life of social ineptitude? I am going to be alone the rest of my life. What I am going to do when I am 30, 40, or 50 and say I've never had a girlfriend. After the age of 25 if I don't find a girlfriend it will be too late.


So what? You'll be a loner? People in Africa have it so so so much worse off than you. But if you asked any of them, they wouldn't consider suicide in a million years. Try putting things into perspective. I can think my life can get pretty bad, but then I think of the people in the world with poorer circumstances.

For the record, I've never kissed a girl, had a girlfriend, ect. and I don't think I ever will. But I still think life is worth living, and I plan to live mine to the fullest. :D


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DeaconBlues
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02 Nov 2009, 11:11 pm

Your perspective is limited.

I am 46 years old, twice-married (the first time was a serious mistake, but I didn't know any better yet), with two beautiful children. When I was 25, I hadn't even had my first date yet, which may have contributed to my marrying wife #1 too quickly at 27.

It's not "too late" if you don't have a girlfriend when you're 25. Frak, it's not "too late" if you don't have one when you're 30! (Remember, after all, that here in the States at least you're statistically likely to live well into your nineties - at 30, you're still just starting out.) As for the "purpose" in your existence, if you believe that purpose requires Divine intent, and you believe in no Deity, then your life is of no less purpose than anyone else's. Why should you have to leave if they aren't?


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LiendaBalla
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03 Nov 2009, 12:05 am

Getting killed is actualy easy these days. You don't "have to" do it yourself, imo.



SierraBell
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03 Nov 2009, 12:18 am

Hopefully you have not gone away now, but one thing maybe you could do is firstly:

Call a hotline. If there is no one around you to help you or you feel no one can help you. Find the suicide hotline number and dial it. Right NOW if possible. If you are planning to kill yourself THIS instant, you probably should do that. They can help you with what you need and such.

I have depression myself and I actually tried to attempt it once last month, but I snapped out of it. And I have being dealing with depression and wanting to kill myself ever since I was 13 (Now 17). It was exactly for the reasons you're saying.

In the end though. It is YOUR decision whether or not you want to take your life or not. I may just be 17, but I know if you leave this planet now, you are going to devastate other people that do care for you. And there is so much to life then what you are believing it to be.



shirochan
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03 Nov 2009, 12:50 am

School? oh that's why.

Don't let this bring you down. Life gets a LOT better after school. Fight it with all you've got and work hard to get rich after. Then people will have to respect you.



Dancyclancy
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03 Nov 2009, 12:53 am

[b]SierraBell[b] has spoken well !

Many of us have been where you are, and still find and will find ourselves there from time to time.
as she says call a Hotline, and give yourself a chance , one more chance.... there can always be one more chance to develop a little more, to find a special person......to find that special part of yourself that yearns.... the yearning for something can give hope.

You say that person is sitting nearby......enjoy feeling this closeness..... don't concentrate on the distance ( the distance is at present in your mind) in REALITY that person is NEAR....

Maybe you're in a state of Panic/despair, the flipside is calmness and hope.
Breathe your way through the panic despair, slowly, slowly and relax in the knowledge that that person is near and that there is hope when your calm.

Admire from afar until you feel ready to say "hello/hi", or just to walk by and know you both breathe the air in that space. :cry:



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03 Nov 2009, 1:02 am

Hi Praetor2379!
Please let us know that you're OK!



Solei
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03 Nov 2009, 3:41 am

Maybe people don't belong, and maybe people don't fit in. I know for certain that I don't fit in, but that's okay. It's not necessarily a bad thing to not fit in. You're not held by those obligations of fitting in, so you can do what you wish with life. You're still young, and if doesn't sound like you've scratched the surface of your future. Make your life what you wish it to be. There's plenty of time to mold it. Besides, sleep is really boring. :wink: