Does life ever get better?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm a 20 year old aspie and the last couple years by life have been one constant s**thole. I've gone to psychiatric hospitals three times, once for feeling suicidal, once for threatening suicide, and once for attempting suicide. I've lost two jobs, though I have another one now. I don't see it going anywhere though. I think I'm degenerating. My mind doesn't work anymore. I can do computer programming pretty easily, but I find math and logic a lot harder than I used to. It's really lowering my self esteem. That and the fact that I walk funny, talk like a cretin, and am socially ret*d. And the fact that I had to turn down WPI because I wasn't ready for it and go to a community college for three years doesn't help either.

I just got kicked off AVEN today (that's the asexuality forum). I didn't get banned; I just found that everyone there hated my guts and just wanted to see me mowed over by a tank. Some of them only ever responded to my posts to flame me. I don't know. I can't really go anywhere without pissing people off and making tons of enemies. I was hoping I would be accepted there. Maybe it wouldn't matter so much if I had any friends IRL.

Overall, I don't see things ever improving from here. I guess I've just lived with failure for so long that the thought that anything would ever go well just seems too good to be true. The best years of my life were probably ages 16 and 17. Since then everything has fallen apart. I think I am my own worst enemy, which just makes me want to swallow my medications and die. I wouldn't do that though; I'm too much of a coward to commit suicide. It would make others feel my pain though, and maybe they would finally see how I feel.

You're at a really difficult age, at least it was for me. You are an adult now, and are supposedly free to do whatever you want, but still completely limited. I spent the whole morning crying, so I can't really say it gets better.... But I will say you might start to care less about your own happiness. I try to start by doing what I know I am supposed to do, so I'm not a burden on other people. Beyond that, I am just trying to pay off debt and move to the country so I can have very few expenses, and finally do what I want to do.

Don't give up on yourself. You will change, and it might not be better, but maybe it will be more interesting....

Will life get better?

Yes and no.


No because life gets more complex by the minute. Not only does the information rate we have to 'swallow' go up dramatically because of all the new media, growing population of th eearth and such. You'll also stack all your experiences on top of each other which sort of means you'll get more and more bad experiences, even if you have a lot of nice one's too...

Yes because you can always find new good things on your path. You can put more time into things you like. For me that includes reading books creating things and spending time with my animals. You can spend less time on things that make you feel bad like comparing yourself to other people. This helps me a lot. I mean, what do I know about them, really? Do I KNOW they are better, or better off than me? I really don't. So why bother with comparison?

The same goes for you. You probably have tons of talents you could be exploring and developing. Practice makes perfect, find out what you like to do and do it... wether it's arts, crafts, sports, your new job. That way you'll 'train' yourself for the 'battles' in your field in the future.

Be patient too. Becoming a pro in any sport takes at least 10000 hours of practice (so I heard). nobody becomes a pro in any field in just a week, let alone a day.

Damn Good Question.

angelicgoddess gives a pretty good answer.

FaithHopeCheese makes sense too.

Today, all I can offer is that that is a Damn Good Question.
Maybe tomorrow will be more encouraging.
On the suicide thing, my attitude is while distressed and depressed and discouraged, if I'm dead I can not win.
As long as I'm alive, I might win.

Plus, if I'm dead, how will my model railroad ever get finished?

'Life' itself is still the crazy, stupid world that it always was. What changes is your ability to cope with it.

It's like surfing; when you're a teenager, you sink and nearly drown. As you grow older and gain confidence and life-skills, you learn to ride the waves (or at least cling onto the board very tightly).

It is like a rollercoaster, indeed. Life will have its ups and downs. If you can somehow find a better way to deal with the down times, life, indeed can get better and when you have good times, it makes it all the sweeter! I lived in a group home for 3-4 years, was as miserable as possibly can be, then I decided to go and get my apartment, but had to deal with the downs of the group home, in the mean time, but focused on my goal. That's how I deal with the downtimes, trying to focus on the fact that it won't last forever. Easier said than done, but at the end of the day, it can be done.

Life does get better. I know, I've been in the dumps, wishing I were dead etc but now I've just stopped caring about what people think and it's helped dramatically. I don't need company anymore, I can just be me. Don't throw in the towell, just ride through it. Things don't stay bad forever