I wish I was 19

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I wish I was a freshman in college. I SHOULD have gone on to George Mason as a freshman. I did get accepted into George Mason as a freshman, but I thought I couldn't handle a 4 year, so I started at NOVA. I do have a degree from NOVA too. But if I can go back to being 19, maybe today I wouldn't have acid reflux disease or this IC (Interstitial Cystitis). I wonder if having boyfriends and being all boy crazy and silly made me get those diseases. I want to ask the Korean urologist on Mon what causes IC. Apparently a lot of people have acid reflux disease. I have a cousin in Seattle who is 19 and is a freshman at University of Washington and is a bio chem major. (She is mom's brother's grand daughter) So I think she will be a medical doctor. How awesome is that? Her parents have to be overjoyed. Their daughter will be making $$$ and be totally successful. I feel so ashamed! I didn't go to a top college and didn't have a good major. I hate music now. I can't stand opera or symphonies.

I can go to grad school and get a GIS degree, but I struggled so much during college. This IC has got to be cured. IC ruins my joy to travel and hang out. That's why I have no social life. People ask me if they want me to go to movies, go out to eat, go get coffee, go get drinks, and I decline. They assume because I hate them, but it's not that! I can't go out and enjoy myself because of this IC. I constantly have to use bathroom. But dog shows are good for me. I like to see dogs because they make me happy. Plus there is always bathroom and I don't have to do anything. On Monday, the metro trains was delayed and they told us to get off at Pentagon. (I work in DC)I waited for 10 min for next train and my bladder was in pain! See this is why I need a new job. Mom is so lucky. She has had the same job since 1995! She just drives 20 min to work and back. That would be great for me. Less stress on my bladder too. She does do retail which is stressful for her, but her commute is shorter than mine. I went to this employment center over the weekend to fill out information. They help people with LD or other disabilities with jobs. Once I found out I had aspergers, I have gotten more sad. No one on my mom's side or dad's side have LD or aspergers so their lives are simple. My 2nd cousin in Seattle may only be 19 but she's skinny, beautiful and have tons of friends When I look at her, sometimes I want to go back to being 19.

I remember feeling the same way. I wonder how things would have been if I had done school four years straight and graduated at 22/23.

Just hang in there, and you can always talk to me if you want.

Tim

You are still in college or getting your bachelors this year?

It took me 5 years to get a BA degree, but I went to community college for 2 years and got a degree from there. I went on to a 4 year college and got a BA. I didn't want to go to 4 year because I thought I couldn't handle it.

About GIS, would you do the Penn State online?

Luvsterriers, have you tried changing your diet? Apparently that can help interstitual cystitis. Drinking loads of water might work too.

Don't fret about measuring up to your cousin; she probably wishes she could be good at music or arts (I'm a med student myself, but often I envy my brother who's studing guitar- his life sounds a lot cooler sometimes).

I have had IC for 10 years. It has completely ruined my life and my happiness. I do drink a lot of water. You know about IC? I wonder what is the cause of IC. Stress? Or doctors don't know? Mom thinks it's because I was crazy about boys when I was 18, 19 or so. I avoid anything spicy or acidic too. It takes me forever to go grocery shopping because I'm always reading labels.

I'm 19 and wish I was 24.

Don't dwell on mistakes, learn from them and apply what you've learnt to improve your future.

I wish that I was 19, so I could go back to college and take some courses that would lead to a good career.

Since the "I wishes" have started, I wish I was 18 so I could be done with this school and college crap, move out to my own place, and get on with the important things I want to do in my life.

I have made many mistakes in my life. No surprise there--I am a human being, after all.

But I have also concluded that I do not want a, "do-over." There is only one life-changing, 'what-was-I-thinking' mistake, but it is also the mistake that brought me back to Vancouver, and has presented me with opportunities that I would not have had if I had remained in the Foreign Service.

I am where I am today as much because of my mistakes as because of my successes.

Wishing to be younger again is futile anyway, so get over it. This may sound a bit harsh, but as there's no way to change the past, it's probably best to concentrate on the future. I too could have done some things in my life better (like graduating two years ago), but this can't be done anymore. So now I'm graduating at 26, what's the big deal? A lot of respectable, intelligent people didn't graduate until late twenties, early thirties, or even never.

Dude, I didn't get my bacholor's till I was 27. I feel like an IDIOT sometimes for all I've screwed up at.

I am now 19 and still in high school.

I am living life as I think it should be, though.