Please Help!

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Hello, everyone.

For those who don't know me, I'm Gerard. Some of you may know me as <theimperiousdork>, that 23-year-old kid who frequents the Off-the-Wall board, posting in the "Last person to post wins" thread and others. It's very rare that I post something very serious here in WP, and for someone like me, it's very, very difficult to do so. But at this point, please allow me to be really myself, and I do appreciate your concern.

Right now, I'm having some issues, and I don't know how to deal with these.

1. I am having a very hard time at work. It is a fact that I am having difficulties meeting the expectations set by the company I currently work for. Since I work in a call-center company, it's particularly very hard for me to shorten my calls, yet they require me to stick to business rules and make my customers satisfied. My immediate supervisor is fine, but our manager is an a**hole who pays no regard to her subs' achievements but belittles everyone and imposes "respect" on everyone through fear. Talk about "Hell's Kitchen," only worse and in real life. Last Tuesday, I suffered a huge headache due to fatigue, almost puked, and literally collapsed after I left the office. And that was when I was threatened an "insubordination" charge against me by that manager. Why? I just blankly responded to her, "I answered, right?" She humiliated me in front of everybody, and I was not alone. She humiliated even my teammates before me. Let's face it. I'm extremely sensitive person, and right now, I'm considering resignation as a choice, especially that I'm being offered better opportunities by other companies. I don't know what to do. Four hours later, I am to go to work, and I don't know what to do.

2. My sister left our home months ago in favor of her girl lover (read: girl), leaving behind her son. Now as an uncle, it is indeed very painful for me, who treats her kid like my own. Such was the pain, I refused any means of contact with her, and she just IMed me compelling me to go to where she and her lover is, and she was telling me that she was stabbing herself all the while because she was being "denied" her son. I mean, come on. It was painful for us that she chose that whore over her family, and now she had that nerve to tell us that. As a younger brother of hers, it's both a threat and an insult. I mean, I don't give a damn about their relationship, but leaving us behind is not right.

And now I'm very confused. I really don't know what to do. Can anyone please help me out?

Well..

If you ARE getting offered better jobs.. Get one. It's bad mojo working at a place that is sapping your strength, esp. if you're sensitive. Believe it or not, there ARE jobs that make you smile, or at least not make you THAT tired.

What you could, and possibly should, do, is calmly go to your manager's cave/nest/dimensional gateway, step inside, and tell her you'd like a word.

Then you could tell her, calmly, that her abbraisive and intimidating management style is counter-productive and has made you physically ill. And that she can consider that statement your resignation.



And your sister...well...
I don't know if I comprehend this story right, but yer sis ran off from you and her own son months(!) ago, just, *POOF*..and left you(?) to take care of him(?).
Your sister sounds a bit...unstable. If not dangerous.
I'd suggest you think really hard about how much of your sister's actions should you take to heart, and how much you should regard "based-on-nothing-but-blind-hate".
Then again.........
It's the law that it's her son, and not yours.
She can sue you if you're denying her her son. And she should, if she could.

If she wants her son back, give him to her.
Unless you think she will hurt him or mess him up. Then call child services. Official procedure, blah blah blah, I'm no expert.

But a kid, being at the center of words like "abandonment, denying custody and self-stabbity-ness" Yeah, that's a bit bigger then #1





DISLAIMER: My opinions are idealized and definite, possibly with lack of insight, I am no authority, and my advice should at best be considered, never followed.

Followi'n 's bad. M'kay?

I agree with LivingOutsideTheBox on one. If there are better options I'd suggest going for it, be sure of the new job before saying that you're giving in your notice to your current one.
Also, I'll add that the bad behaviour of your manager (to the best of my knowledge) is something that is called constructive dissmissal, as far as I know. Constructive dissmissal is where a boss/manager makes work so intolerable that a person wants to quit and sometimes does. Keep a diary of the bad stuff that is done to you by the manager (with dates and times if possible) if you want to go a legal route. Though, I'll add, I don't know much about this kind of thing.

About your nephew, I don't know enough, though from what you've said about your sister, she doesn't seem to be the most stable of people. If she has realised this, perhaps it's for the best that she left her kid behind, perhaps some part of her realised that she might not be stable enough to be a good mother at the present time. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love the kid. About your nephew, you have to think about what is best for him emotionally and physically. It's a hard thing to do.

I am sorry things are going this way for you right now.

My initial reaction to your post was to blurt out, "Run! Run from the pit of hell while you still have your sanity!" Staying in a place like that for too long can do little more than wear you down in the long run. No good will come from that. I once had a job that was so difficult for me to put up with, that after some time, when I came home I had nothing left for anyone or anything else. I burned out... bad. I know you are not me, so you very well might manage better than I did, but staying in a place like that for too long... it just cannot be good for you. I hope you can find a less stressful alternative soon.

You are correct... leaving her family behind for one person... that is not right. It is good that your nephew has someone(s) (I assume there is more than you due to the tone of your post. I hope I am correct... what he needs now are a lot of people who love him) there for him in his mother's absence. You seem as though you are good support for him now. It is good when family behaves the way you do.

I wish I had better things to say... my words often fail me... I do hope things even out for you quickly.

^^ Yaaaaayyyyyeeee, theimperiousdork!! Oh dear theimperiousdork, I am very sorry for your problems indeed and also as I believe I am veyr sorry as I do not believe I am very skilled concerning the magical matters wihtin your second problem. However, for the first problem, in order to solve your problem I do believe there are two happy solutions. These are to leave your little job and be blessed by a new job or to improve matters with your current job. First I believe you must ask yourself, CAN you improve matters with your little job? If so what are these? ^^ I do believe that a happy solution must be to change the expectations of your boss. Therefore, perhaps you may do this legally (as happy LostAlien has suggested) or find another way. I believe you stated that your supervisor is very happy and nice. May you be able to speak to your supervisor privately for advice for this? As a number of your colleagues appear to be experiencing a similar problem, perhaps your magical supervisor shall wish to assist you all. ^^ Also, perhaps you mayspeak to your colleagues concerning this also first.

I do apologise greatly if this is not helpful for you theimperiousdork. I wish you very well indeed *Blesses*.

Thanks a lot, guys, for the support.

Right now, I am considering a resignation. Aside from the fact that my work would be much harder for me, I opened myself up with my manager, and she rebutted me, and belittled me again, calling me a chicken for being sensitive. Also, she issued me a memo for a violation she does herself. Talk about hypocrisy and power-tripping at work. And I have a feeling she would boot me out anytime soon for being vocal about my complaints (she had booted out my other colleagues when they spoke against her). If weren't for my supervisor and my teammates who are motivating me to stay, I would have been a goner as I replied to your posts.

I don't have problems with her. I have problems with what she does. Nothing personal, I just don't appreciate her treatment towards us.

I'd wait for my pay on the last day of the month or before Christmas. I'll be looking for a more relaxed job afterward.

Ho, hello Gerard! theimperiousdork!

I knew there was something going wrong!
The longer you stayed at that job, the less you came to play.

If you have other offers, don't hesitate!
Even if you like your co-workers where you are now, leave the place before you get all your energy burned out, as someone else told you.

Why do you want to stay there longer than necessary?

As for your sister and nephew, niece (?), I can't say anything but my best wishes for you all.

Yeah, I was not able to be online due to the fact that I was so stressed out at the end of the day, I tend to sleep early, yet wake up late, and therefore going to work late--a characteristic that I lost all motivation. Right now, I rely on my team and my immediate supervisor for my staying power. Once our team gets dissolved, I will file my immediate resignation--no questions asked. Next week, I will submit my application to another company--a company where my former workmates are, and as they say, is way, way better than the company where I am now.

Thanks, guys for the support. I really needed that at this point.