Am I right to be doing this?

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My PC is broken because a tiny file called NTdetect got deleted, to cut a long story short I'm using my spare one, which isn't very good, and a tech has it at the moment, but they're not listening to me when I say what needs doing to it. It's a 60 second job which involves taking the hard drive out, connecting it up with another. I have my computer whizz friend helping me talk to people about it, he knows what he's doing more so than I do lol.

Anyway thats not my point here, my point is my mum, who's constantly telling me how worried she is about my mental state, which has been declining recently, and the broken PC has just tipped me right over the edge.

They do have money, but they're more bothered about our leaking flat roof than my mental state, they're willing to pay up to £600 for that, but when it comes to the very thing my mental health pivets on, the PC, she couldn't care less. Just keeps telling me to 'get it fixed'. The thing is when I see the PC again I might not be able to refrain from smashing it to bits anyway, because I can't control my moods.

There is no point in me wasting the doctor's time like I did last week, because they can't help me, they can't give me my usual PC or get me a new one, therefor they cannot help me.

So, in a sadistic get back at my mum, I've told her she isn't to get me a single thing for christmas or my birthday, not even a card, because the only thing that can help me is a new PC (even if mine gets fixed) which it probably will, it's just question of getting someone to beleive me and not complectate it into rocket science like they're doing.

Anyway, I've told mum to go ahead & buy stuff for my partner, but to treat me like my Jehovah's Witness Auntie and not even aknowledge me, and to tell everyone else to do the same. This is NOT because she won't get me a PC, this is because she won't recognise that everything that is the matter with me is the matter with me because of the PC, even before it broke I was having huge panic attacks over the PC.

If she doesn't do this, I intend to post everything she gives me back, still wrapped up. Nobody thinks I have it in me, but oh boy, I do. I can be one hard ass b***h when I put my mind to it. I don't like hurting people, but then again I don't like blaightant refusal to accept the obvious. It upsets me when she tries to derive problems that just don't exist, like some other issue is really behind my recent anguish, not true, the PC is, and that is all.

This is not about 'getting my own way', this is about proving my point about what the real issue is.

Didn't you post recently about feeling compelled to delete things from you computer? Did you break the PC yourself? Maybe it's appropriate that your mom is more worried about your mental state than your PC.

Yes, thats correct, but this wasn't caused by that.

My declining mental state however, is 100% caused by the PC. I don't think anyone will ever understand how a machine can cause someone so much anguish. With me, it's like a 3rd person in my life, when something happens to it, I react in a way you would expect someone to react upon hearing bad news about a loved one...

Well, I don't think telling someone NOT to get you presents is much of a "punishment"....You're not really hurting anybody but yourself with that, are you?

Ussually I do not say this to people, but I really feel you need to spend some time away from your computer and in the real world. Find a hobby that does not involve the pc, read a book, do some artwork, go for a walk, whatever. Also, if I feel I am really out of it and not thinking straight I just would not even use the pc, because you need a certain level of functionality to really use it.

Other thing, you should try Linux. Some of the flustrations that windows has go away when you use it instead.

I'm going to ask about having linux on a duel boot soon, being as my PC can indeed be fixed, and even be made BETTER thanks to this little mess up.

They can put in another hard drive, so I'll have a master & slave. That way one will only be used for the OS, and the other for data storage. This will allow me access to the data I have on the drive thats in it at the moment like all my photos & music, so they won't be lost thank god, and allow for me to back everything up with ease. The computer will also run faster (it was pretty fast before).

The techs that are doing it now are amazing, if anyone can fix it and knows what they're doing, it's this place. I lost faith in them for a while after they installed me NOD32 anti virus on a license key that had been used multiple times, but they have since changed management, and the guy who saw me today was really good.

I did land up breifly telling him I have AS, which I seldom do to anyone, but I think he needed to know just how much of a big issue computers are to me, and lone behold, his reaction suggested he'd dealt with many aspie PC disasters, lol.

Anyway, onto my OP, I still feel that way, partly out of guilt that mum is paying for the repair job on our leaking flat roof, I don't really think I deserve anything after that. It's not so much a punishment, but I'm all out of ways to get people to understand how my mind works. So what if I am punishing myself, I hate xmas and would much rather treat it like any other day, the only difference being the shops are closed.

There is no saying my OCD over computers won't come back, as someone else mentioned, I have found it hard using this computer, so I guess it will come back. However I'm prepared to become ill over it rather than carry out the urges. I really couldn't care less anymore, but I didn't mess the computer up via OCD.

The OCD comes from a bad experience, which I'm sure I've mentioned on here before, to do with when the PC broke down the first time.