23-year-old son with aspergers and depression

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my 23-year-old son with asperger's has become severely depressed. he has been eating little, and remaining in bed just about the whole day and night. he refuses to come out of his room, see another doctor or take medication. when we try to talk to him about it, he says he is fine, does not need help, answers all questions with "i don't know", "i'm just tired", or similar responses that seem to be simply to make us stop talking to him. he was misdiagnosed by one doctor, and given an antipsychotic by mistake, which caused catatonic-type behavior and resulted in hospitalization a few months ago. the psychiatrist at the hospital did not have much success with him, because he was frozen much of the time. a psychologist who specialized in asperger's that we took him to after release from the hospital told us he was unable to help because of david's uncooperation. if anyone has any advice or suggestions on how to get him out of this deep depression, out of his bed and talking to us, we would be very grateful. thanks, david's mother

The only solution I can think of, is try to look for clues that may have caused his depression. Was it some event that happened to him recently? Was it being bullied or teased? Or, maybe he doesn't like the fact he has AS? If that's the case, explain to him that many people with AS can lead lives. Try to find someone within his community that has AS and is successful. I hope this helps.

Maybe he is just recuperating from all of the disappointments he has experienced lately, with the misdiagnosis and wrong medication. He should join wrong planet. It's hard to really advise you, coming from a third person point of view.

Welcome to WP!

I don't think so. I have joined here at WrongPlanet and it has done me no good but cause me more depression and hatred against everyone else because I have no friends.

But this isn't about me. I'm just saying that joining a forum doesn't seem to be the best solution for someone who is depressed out of their mind!

People need to find WP when they are ready. Five years ago, I would have dismissed Wrong Planet as a sleazy freak show designed for Aspies who lacked the self-esteem to believe they were equal human beings in their own right.

Well, if he is feeling alienated, depressed and alone, it might draw him out. The two of us having an argument about it isn't going to help David's mom though. I have found a lot of solace here......

Well I can't blame him for not wanting to see other doctors if he keeps getting mis diagnosed and put on meds that he does not need or will make him worse.

This isn't directly helpful, but you & your son might want to know about this regarding catatonia & neuroleptic drugs in autism (increased risk of complications).

http://www.autistics.org/library/more-autistic.html#catatonia

How long has he been like this? Are there periods when he's himself again for a brief while?

At 23, you can't exactly force him to go see a counseller. I wonder if it might be best to let him work out his own problems. One of the feelings in depression is complete helplessness and that part is only cured when you realise you can do things for yourself.

I'm not a follower of the 'Snap Out of It' school of thought, but I wonder if maybe you should forget the counsellers and doctors for a while and see how things go. Don't allow him to bring food to his room; make him eat with the rest of the family (he won't starve from just a few missed meals) and insist he join in for some activities, even if it's just watching TV.

These things worked for me when I was depressed, although they weren't much fun at the time and I certainly didn't appreciate my mum's efforts until much later.

Thing is, now that I look back on it, I think her view was probably correct; I had depression, but so what? I still had to live and do things for myself. It would have been so easy to quit college and go off to sit in a shrink's office and wallow in my own misery for months on end, but as another thread on WP has shown, the last thing you need to give obsessional people is even more excuses to 'think things over'.

Distraction's the key. Don't let him dwell on his misery up in his room for hours on end; get him doing stuff to take his mind of it all (he won't be able to do this by himself) and praise him when he does activities or helps out.

Like I said, this worked for me and I hope it might work for your son. If not, then I'm not really sure what you should do. As FaithHopeCheese said, perhaps he is recuperating by himself

May not be the best advice, but perhaps you should let him know that it's okay to be sad/depressed and that when he wants to move on, you'll be there for him.

I know one thing that made me miserable is that nobody would accept me the way I was. I always had to be what OTHERS wanted to be accepted, and that only made me more miserable.

Did he just get out of his first relationship? From what you've described thats the only thing that I can think of that drove me to that state.

Is he on any meds at the moment, because I beleive some psychiatric medications, such as anti psychotics and anti depressants can have very bad adverse reactions on people with an ASD. I think this is because the ASD brain is wired slightly differently from your 'neurotypical' brain. So the drugs don't work in the same way. Think of it like electrical wiring, while most electrics work on an easily recognised set of wiring, some differ, although the currant still flows, just through slightly different wires. It's hard to explain.

His depression may or may not be related to his AS, but the two do go hand in hand sadly. It may be worth getting him checked out (if he would be willing) by a doctor for medical issues, things like thyroid function, low blood sugar, diabetes, food intolarance & epilepsy can cause altered mental states, sometimes very serious ones such as extreme depression, fatigue and appetite problems. Most of these things can be ruled out by a simple blood test.

Also digestive tract problems such as IBS are very common in people with an ASD, if you're effected by a problem in this area, it can cause a whole manner of knock on effects throughout the body if you're not metabolising nutrients propperly.

Also diet can have a prefound effect on people with ASDs, things like gluten, sugar & food additives & colours can worsen certain issues. What sort of things does he eat? It might be worth looking at his diet and seeing if any small changes might be of benefit, you could ask a doctor about this.

Does he drink alcohol or lots of caffeine or smoke, because none of those things will help someone who is depressed.
Obviously there will be many factors that contribute to how he is feeling at the moment. Tell him to go on the computer & just do some reading about aspergers, look for some personal stories from other aspies & print them off for him to read. Having AS is not miserable or horrible like some idiots would have you beleive.

Adult life for aspies can be particularly tough, those traits we might not have worried about so much as a child tend to be more noticable, if not to others then to ourselves. It's certainly not unusual for someone with AS to have low self esteem, I've accepted that as a part of my makeup sadly.

Some things you can't get rid of, it's like the birthmarks on my leg & neck, I know they're there, but they don't really bother me. It is ok to admit how you feel, there is certainly no shame in having AS or being depressed.

I would really have a think about trying to pursuade him to get some medical checks, just the fact he is in bed so much could indicate a physical problem of some sort. Try & pursuade him to go to the doctor (or change doctor if he's not happy with the one he has at the moment) and at least get some blood tests done.

take him fishing.