Messed up and in doubt

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I haven't been on here for a while. I have been very sad lately. Probably a slight bit of SAD, but I don't know for sure. I'm living in a group home and finding it very difficult as three of the residents are more 'severe' than I am. I know it sounds kind of selfish, but I feel like I don't get enough attention. Whether this is down to my ADD or AS I don't know, but it is making me very depressed. Trouble is, I am starting to get angry with one of the residents because he's not ret*d but sometimes acts like he is and all the staff are being nice to him even though he's a complete ass. He bosses the staff around, demands which car he gets (we have 3 cars) and bangs on the walls really loud if he doesn't get his own way. In other words he's like a freaking 3 year old.

Seeing him makes me doubt my AS diagnosis. Is it real or am I just a psycho? That's what I worry about. I'm nothing like him or any of the others. I'm way more 'switched on' and aware of myself and my limitations. I wish that I could live with other people like me. I wish that I didn't have any AS at all because I feel like a complete freak.

Sorry for the rant, I am very tired and sad.

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

I'm going to tell you I felt that way at one time also and the bottom line was this: I wasted my time. I'm not sure if this applies to you but it took me a long time to realize I didn't fit in due to the judgments of the people around me, not due to me having some sort of innate incorrectness. I changed environments and changed the level at which I am fitting in.

What would it take to get out of there?
Could you handle living alone or with a room mate?
Would one of the other residents make a good room mate?

(hugs Jellybean)

I've lived in a group home, and I know what it is like there. If you need to PM me about, let me know, because that sounds like the same exact story I had to live through for 3 years.