My Sister is a Total ...

Post Reply New Topic

But my bitchy sister is only one element of my family problems. You see, the biggest problem I have with them right now is that they talk to me as if I were someone else.

I regard myself as a fairly independent person. I go to school about a thousand miles from my family’s home, live on my own, and have my own friends. If I didn’t go to school, I feel I can achieve financial independence quickly.

Now that I’m home for Christmas, though, they talk to me like I’m still in middle school. Back then, I had far worse social and motor skills, was emotionally vulnerable, and easily exploited. That’s not me today; I can live happily on my own. But my family wants to shelter me.

My mother wants me protected, but at least she wants the best for me. My sister, on the other hand, thinks I’m not functional at all, and treats me as an annoying toddler. I’d never interact with her at all if she weren’t related to me. The thing is that they have everyone else in my family thinking the same way they do.

So if they can’t see that I’ve changed for the better, how do I tell them? Do I tell them, or just ignore it? Can I least work something out with them so that I can have my own space? Do any of you have this same problem, I wonder?

It probably won't make you feel any better, but this is a pretty universal experience for people returning to the family home for the holidays. You know that you are independent and capable, and that your experiences away from the family are making you a different person. But the rest of the family seems oblivious to all of that. Yep.

In my experience, all you can do is grit your teeth and try to "be the better person": show them through your behavior that you are more mature and capable than they seem to think. Also, it helps if you can take a break from time to time. Do you have any friends in the area who can get you out of there for a few hours?

JSB

Yep. I'm 24, got out of school a year ago, and this happens to me too. In fact, mom even still cuts up apples for me when I'm watching TV and takes my dishes to the sink--even though I said I can clean up after myself! Although it has gotten better from the time I was 20 and only came home for the holidays.

At any rate, hang in there. I know it's hard--but at least it'll only last for a couple weeks.Then you'll be back at school.

best of luck until then,

Red