I just re-remembered a bad event

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I have been haunted by a bad memory for a while now, and it really makes me incapable of doing certain things, i just want to forget it all, but it's not easy, help?

What kind of bad memory is it?

With some bad memories I have methods that kind of work for me, others seem to keep coming back over and over though. I won't go into the methods until I know what type of memory it is (people, situation or otherwise).

You might want to voice the bad memory, especially if it has become a source of fear. I had an obsession with a negative experience for most of my 20's that really hindered me-----Now I realize I'm normal, except for the fact that I was OBSESSED.

There was something I did, something embaressing, so I say situation, but let me share a few words that sometimes works for me that i say to myself; "Many people have went through the same thing............or worse", and "It could have been worse, FAR wrose".

Sometimes when I can't "let go of" a bad event from the past it's because I'm filled with shame over it. When I look at things more objectively, sometimes I can see that the only reason i'm hanging on to the shame is so that i can use it against myself because I think I deserve to feel bad over what happened.

I know that sounds like a vicious and self-destructive circle. It is. One of the things that helps me is to say, "It's over now. It was bad and it shouldn't have happened, but it did happen and it's over. Reliving it won't help, because I can't change the past. Instead, I'll focus on the future."

I have a problem with that too. Situations where I did something that embarrased me I mean, the method I use is to refocus my mind (thinking about a special interest) until I can look at the embarrasing situation with some perspective or to recall another time when I was embarrased and now realise that that embarrasment was silly to be embarrased about. It doesn't always work but it works a lot of the time for me.

I used to do this a lot. The only thing I've found that helps is to calmly sit down, find something that I've learnt from the situation (e.g. not to act that way again) and remind myself that the other person will probably forget about it soon, and has probably done similar things in the past themselves.

I look back at my past and there's so much selfish, mean stuff that I've done (often without any malicious intent) but all I can do about it say that everybody's an a**hole when young; growing up is about becoming a better person, and at least I see in retrospect where I went wrong.

These past couple of weeks have not been good to me. I have been in a similar situation as the OP here. I think alot of it is mostly shame and guilt over getting fired from a job for committing a violation. The thing is this happened like back in March and not until now has it been hitting me like a ton of bricks in a way. I didnt even feel half this bad when I got caught, I've been like "whatever" about the situation. Whenever I work somewhere where the environment is getting way too bad or stressfu for me to work in I get careless.

Anyway the memory's been messing me up the past couple of weeks but yeah I deserved it, whatever. I just wished this kind of stuff could've waited till after finals. I didnt study or did much homework for the past week cause all I've been doing is staying locked up in my room after classes being a total mess.