Have you ever self harmed?

Post Reply New Topic

I've self harmed in many different ways - hitting at first, then scratching (with or without an sharpish object), then picking scabs, then an experiment with cutting (only once though and hopefully never again!) then both scratching and scab picking.
I sort of want to stop, I don't want to be scarred and nobody want me anymore. But I'm scared of losing this way of coping, it makes me feel better, even if it's just for a little bit. I love and hate the pain. I like the blood, don't like the scars, and I like the action of hurting myself and I sometimes like the aching throbbing pain from the scratching and cutting and sometimes don't like it.
I want to tell my therapist, but I don't think I'm ready to stop yet, and I don't want the pressure right now. I need to be ready for it, and right now my life is too much of a mess right now to stop.

I used to twist towels around my neck, when I was 12. It made me feel high.

I hope you won't do it too long. Try not to feel stupid, as I have beat myself since age 14.

Out of curiosity, has anyone here who has self harmed ever used punchbags that you can kick? It takes quite a bit of practice to get the kicks right.

Yes I have, and it does not work at all, because I have self injury dissorder. Running, movies, shouting, also do not work for me. Even at it's worst, hitting resolves the emotional flow in minutes 4-20 for me, depending, so that we are focused, less self-uncontroled looking, and more rational. This is where the guilt about doing it should set in, for most people. Kind of like a violence aftermath. It's chemicle involved, mixed with other things.

Last edited by LiendaBalla on 21 Dec 2009, 1:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's interesting, and I am sorry that you have gone through this. I wonder if it's purely the chemical mix, as could that chemical/hormone cocktail be theoretically mixed up to be injected for the same effect/relief, or if it's partly psychological, as it the actual wounding would have to be part of it.

Yup.

Yes, I started off with pinching myself (I had long fingernails). I then went onto biting. I heard about cutting and decided to give it a try, it was nothing like the previous two. It helped with the pain (mental) rather than just disracting. I also usede to burn my fingertips. Then I went to therapy. They thought I was fine cus they saw me on a happy day. Lucky for me Nana got a pill for me, St Johns Wort. It's a herb and it helps balance my moods. Now this doesn't mean I'm happy all the time but it means I no longer feel the need to cut. I don't feel depressed anymore, just angry and cutting wouldn't help that, hitting the cause would (always the same person and no this anger was not brought on by the meds). If your a cutter I reccomend trying it, you'll likely find you no longer need to cut. I know a few people it's helped so I can say it wasn't just for me.

I'm on an anti-depressant, but I recently went off an anti-psychotic that actually helped with my depression because of bad side effects, and now the depression is back big time. I had stopped for the most part before that.

http://www.personalhealthzone.com/stjohnswort.html
That page contains the side effects, it looks like a long list but a lot of it is exclusive to certain types of people e.g. pregnant women, transplant patients etc. A few things you shouldn't have with it but it's a herb, not a drug like some of these other pills.

I'll consider it, but I really don't trust natural remedies. My mom is all for them, but most of them don't work for me unless I take them in really high doses.

I'm not particularly for natural remedies either, no more than regular things. I just use what works for me and reccomend these things to other people.