hurt by my "best" friend today

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Lately this "best" friend of mine has been blowing me off and I found out she changed her phone number a couple weeks ago and didn't tell me.

I went out to lunch with her today and I we were filling each other in on what's been happening. I tend to suck on explaining things so I had her read the report the occupational therapist made when I was evaluated for Sensory Processing Disorder. (side note: they are not wanting to diagnose Aspergers right now because they want to see how the occupational therapy helps with sensory issues) At the end of the report was a list of suggestions of things for me to try. Among the list of things was one of those vibrating/massaging things you can put on a chair, performing gross motor activities, and joint compression. She knows how sensative of a topic sexual relationships is for me and yet she procedes to, in the middle of a restraunt, tell me I need to get a vibrator and to get laid and that would take care of the suggestions on the list. I was stunned and being my normal self I couldn't formulate the words to tell her what she was saying hurt me.

I was trying to tell her about the things I'm trying to do to get employment and trying to explain how the sensory issues and the number of hours my therapist says I can work are greatly reducing my options. She was rambling off some jobs and I was trying to tell her why they were poor options for me and just wouldn't try to understand. I felt NO support whatsoever from her today.

I've known her for almost 8 years and over the past year or so I've been more aware that the friendship is fading. This is very hard for me because she's my only friend. I have some aquaintences but nobody else I'm even close to calling a friend.

You can write down how you feel, and how she has been hurtful, and ask her to read it. A friend will take the time to read it and understand it. If she doesn't, you'll know where you stand with her.

Good luck!

I know how you feel; I used to be really embarrassed about talking about sex and topics related to it. I still am to some degree, unless I am very good friends with the person I am talking to.

I think she probably meant it as a joke (it is kind of funny when you think about it) and may have forgotten that you dislike talking about stuff like that (or possibly she didn't realise in the first place, unless you told her straight out).

I think you may have to let it drop; writing a letter won't help in this instance. Even if you do succeed in making her feel bad, she may not want to hang around anymore or accuse you of having no sense of humour . You probably won't get an apology. I've learnt that some people think that because they intended it as a joke, it's your problem if you don't 'get it' .

My bf used to have a habit of bringing up personal topics on public transport. I found mock-glaring at him and making cutting motions across my neck helped him understand that I would prefer to continue the conversation elsewhere. Maybe that could work with your friend? Keep it funny; grimace and go 'yeeuch!' when she says something like that but quietly say afterwards that you get really embarressed about stuff like that and you'd really prefer if she wouldn't talk about sex etc. around you.

If that doesn't work, just ignore her next time she says something like that. She'll get the message that you don't find it funny soon enough.

I'm so sorry to hear that. In the past I've had "friends" like that.

Is there some kind of support group that you could go to? My son and I are going to start going to an aspie support group near where we live, so we can get some support, and hopefully make a friend or two.