I don't know if I want to come back

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At the very least I might just become a lurker. I feel so disheartened and even more of an outcast because of recent posts about people's dislike of those who have not had an offical/formal diagnosis of AS or those who self diagnose.

I've given up feeling comfortable anywhere with anyone now. I just seem to get persacuted no matter what. Even if it was a general statement, it affects me and I feel ostrasized for it. I don't like being made to feel like I'm a liar or a faker.

There are many more people on this forum that want you to feel safe here than not. I hope you stay.

You can't please everyone. There will always be some people who are dissatisfied with other people in any group. WrongPlanet is just a large group of people, some diagnosed with AS, and many other people who are self-diagnosed. Amongst the big part of the group (the self-diagnosed), you are not alone.

I was trying to wrangle a message, and you said that in such a wonderful, succinct manner.

To the OP:

I don't get into the discussion of self-diagnosis. It's like talking religion or politics in a bar, you don't do it....it causes TONS of conflict

If you think you have AS, that's good enough for me. Who am I to judge? I also hope you stay.

Thank you. I'm sorry. I've just been having a small meltdown today so I'm pretty stressed out today.

hi Jak, this post is breaking my heart and I just want to scream - 'Noooo' - because that's not fair that this should be happening - on WP of all places! I was under the impression that we're all here because our experiences amongst the majority of people make us feel different (at best) and are totally intolerable (at worse). And WP is supposed to be an experience to assist our understanding and gain a sense of belonging. Whether or not you've been diagnosed, or even if you're doubtful you would be diagnosed - if you feel more comfortable on WP than anywhere else you should stay, I reckon. Regardless of those sorts of unwelcoming, excluding comments. The world can be so harsh - so I'd say don't go unless you know where you're going. (I wouldn't usually follow this type of advice generally - but I think it works well in this case.) I hope this and the other posts can give you some assurance.

No problem.

I have trouble when I'm tired and stressed too. My son and I have gotten to the point where we talk things out more and let each other know when we're feeling edgy. It must be working because I just got my 4th spontaneous hug of the day.

Sometimes I'm not sure which is worse - the difficulties I face in the world, or the difficulties I face in my mind. Perhaps it's all the same!

never said i disliked them

Everyone has opinions; those of others don't have to affect you. Those conversations are often ugly places, I find, but I speak up because I believe in the validity of personal experience. That doesn't mean that I endorse folks reading a description and deciding since they can relate that it is an accurate diagnosis; that sort of scenario does not make a regular appearance here, either... most are well read, who took time reaching their evaluation, and have had other diagnostic experience that was not previously able to capture the issues they experience. I hope you stay... if things get too ugly and devolve into personal attacks, please contact a moderator so we can help.


M.

I admit I was not aware that there were any threads along those lines. I have not been here that long either.

The point I want to make is this. Diagnosed or not is not going to suddenly fix everything. I'm not diagnosed, and I don't think I will ever be. It is also something that is between my wife and I. She was the one that pointed it out to me. I am actually disappointed with my family now that I can put everything in my past into perspective.

I came here to this board for anonymity. I came here for an outlet. I see so many posts that I can relate to, and there to so much I want to say. To hear about your experience here certainly raises some concern for me.

With all the stress in my life and dealing with my own meltdowns and panic attacks, I don't think I would ever go near those kinds of threads.

Those sure can get ya down.

Okay by me if you stay.

I don't let these threads bother me. Maybe because I am already diagnosed but I also don't let all the "Who's really autistic" threads get to me and "People faking autism" threads.


My husband likes joking about being self diagnosed and says he can do it if I want him too but he doesn't really care and doesn't want to know if he does or not. Too scared. Then he said he does too good in social situations to have it but yet he said he used to be a lot like me when he was younger and he had more difficulty when he was a kid. Honestly we both don't know if he does or not and he doesn't want another thing wrong with him. He just has aspie traits. I have no idea if some of his traits could be due to his brain damage so that's why I don't know if he does or not. He doesn't claim to have it and he either says "I don't know" or "no" to if he does or not. Plus getting another label won't change anything and we both know it. And why waste money to see if he does or not? He doesn't want to know. I say he doesn't have it. I just say he is aspie like.

I read that post. I am undiagnosed. You are making his statement your problem instead of his.

If what you feel is ostracized, fake, liar; then these are your feelings. He is not 'making you' feel this way. You can change them.
Don't think he directed this at people like you/us. Flip it.

Like maybe he is the one with the problem. Like he is a real aspie, or he feels the need to be a card carrying member, or his thoughts and feelings are more important be cause of a diagnoses. Ask yourself what was so important to this person that he felt the need to post on the topic anyway.
Why would it even matter.

It is ok to be a little cynical, a little analytical, a little critical.
Trust in yourself and what you need.

The majority of WP members do not think that way, Jak. Please stay.

I didn't see the post in question, but I haven't been on here for a while until yesterday, so I probably missed it.

I have a friend who makes the point that if it
walks like a duck,
talks like a duck,
and is happy being with ducks,

Then does it make a difference if it's not actually called a duck?
Why not just leave it alone being happy with the ducks?

Embrace your inner duckiness, and be happy with the ducks.