It's the day after Christmas

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and I just want to be left alone.

I don't know if makes me selfish but after a day of eating, drinking and sharing with the family I just want them to go home.
What's worse is that they want to take me out for a birthday lunch tomorrow and I don't want to go.

I'm kind of depressed about my birthday. It's so close to Christmas so I don't get any presents and all the preparation for cake and celebrations is last minute. It's like it doesn't even matter to my family.

I'm just so irritated with them and I just want them to leave me alone for a few days.

I just want to find something sharp and pierce it into my skin. I don't know how to get out of this mood.

I've often wondered why people with such an awful birthday accept it.
Why not change it? Dates are arbitrary.
You can informally change your name. You like this nickname, you hate that one...
Ok, you can't change your driver's license and other legal issues.
But for celebrating a birthday, why must it be on December 27, or whatever it is?
Why can't you say it's on February 29th?
They already know that you're crazy, so that won't make a difference.
Or, better yet, make it the last Friday in March.
Then you always get it on a convenient day.

(hugs penseive)

I will go out with my family today at a restaurant and eat good food

Birthdays are weird in that I always feel guilty that people are honoring me. I like presents, but I also have trouble saying thank you for them. The sh***y thing about my birthday and Christmas these days is that the few remaining family members I have don't give me any presents or cash. Being poor I could really use it to buy animation equipment and I am also an obsessive video game collector. Maybe that makes me selfish.

What kind of artist are you pensieve?

oh no, its You pensieve who wrote this thread
I say like this because I always liked you and even at some point had the idea to ask if you wanted to be my friend or so....

Anyway, to me it would be "a common sense need for a person with AS" to get some days on your own after so intense timespending with your family around christmas
To have birthday right afterwards doesnt make that need easier I understand. But does your family understands it? How have you solved it all previous years?

My brother have his birthday a week before christmas. My parents can find combination solutions for him, particularly around gifts for birthday and christmas.

And this your interpret as your family doesnt care about your birthday with making cake and prepare celebrations in the last minute. I read this as they actually do care about it as your family. To prepare for christmas is well enough anyway and most people stress up a lot around it. They want a days relax before starting off celebration preparations again and that they infact do turn up with a cake in the last second is their way to show they do want to give you somehting for your birthday anyway, even if they rather would relaxt themselves yet another day, who knows....

So, the best is to be clear to them what you want. Have you expressed your needs and wishes for your birthday clearly to them? I mean a birthday should be on your conditions, not theirs. If they really care they should adjust the day after your requests and hopefully can understand and respects your choises so it doesnt have to stress you up.

I hope this would be solved to the best for You. I wish you a wonderful birthday, no matter how you spend it.

Take care, xalepax

I'm a photographer and I dabble in sketching and screenwriting.

I was angry when I wrote that post. I've settled down a bit, but there is still a part of me that wants a real birthday. I never thought of changing my actual birthday date, though I was meant to be born in January. I was thinking about not celebrating Christmas. I hate the commercialism and I haven't stepped into a church in two years. But it's more about feeling under appreciated. It doesn't help that my family drives me insane.

What is a Real Birthday to You?

and yeah we do have the artistic interests in common!

Having friends over or doing something/anything with them. Not having people take me out to a lunch as though it'll be enough to keep me happy. The cake is also just something they picked up from a supermarket, it was supposed to be a custom made one, but that's obviously just too much for them to remember.
The only present I'll receive if I even receive it is a $60 camera adapter, which is basically a small tube.

Maybe I am being selfish, but I just want to celebrate my birthday like everyone else.

Okay I got what you mean. If it could be at some comfort for you I can tell you its basically the same with me and my birthday, because I would also love to have a birthday "like everyone else". Thats why I get so sensitive about mine too. I dont have any friends at all, so that part is absolutely impossible to arrange. Then there is food and gifts left - for the duty of my family yeah. Im lucky with my mum arranging tasty things on her own and do all she can in her power to get me a good day anyway. My husband try his best too but they can both be bad giving me gifts. Mostly Im terrified of beeing left alone on my birthday. That would really indicate what an incredible looser I am, as it would feel...

It's the day after Christmas, and I won't get my feelings hurt, tonight because I won't have to leave the dinner table, due to another person's dirty jokes. Therefore, I won't be ostrasized by the woman who brought me into this world.

It's very normal to feel gypped for having a December birthday. My old boss's daughter felt that way because her birthday is also in December at the end of the month. My husband told me kids feel that way when they were born in December. My dad was born six days before Christmas. I am not sure if he also felt gypped, I would have to ask him. As a kid, we used to have him pick one Christmas present out from under the tree and the rest be his birthday presents we got him. Of course he still got Christmas presents from us.


Can't your parents take you out? I have always had cake for my birthdays that were bought from stores and I was born in July. I rarely had a homemade cake.
You could save some of your Christmas presents for your birthday next time. Open half of them up and save the rest for your birthday to open.

Yep, I know how that feels. My birthday is in just two days, so it's three days after Christmas and three days before New Year's. Great timing, huh? I'm actually lucky if anyone even remembers it between the celebrations. Last year, only my dad called me to wish me happy birthday on the wrong day. This year, I was *supposed to* be with my bf for it like last year, but those plans changed... So I'm having yet another get-together with my family the day before instead. On my birthday, I haven't decided what I'm doing yet. I know I'm going to a casino, but I'll probably do some shopping or something, too. Not much you can really do outside this time of year and the best theme park around here is closed until mid-April...

So use that. The official story could be that all your problems stem from the fact that you were born too soon. Tell them that, henceforth, you will celebrate what should have been your birthday on the third Saturday in January, or whatever.

I've never understood what's the big deal in doing it on the actual day. Then again, I've never really understood the whole birthday thing. I've been ignoring mine (in February) for over a decade.

There is only one real solution to this:

You to Jesus: "f*****g Jesus Christ, what the f**k do you think your doing havin a birthday on my birthday. Get the f**k outta here, and P.S. Go f**k yourself," (In Bronx accent or Aussie)

Sorry, I had Jesus people at my door this morning.