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How should I handle life?

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zeldapsychology
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23 Jan 2010, 2:22 pm

Obviously once again I'm bringing up the College issue but it's really upsetting me. I went to the campus Tuesday and was balling in tears!! ! I finally told my mom she was like WHAT YOU CRIED OMG! WHAT DID THE JOB COACH SAY!! !! (me: Uh she said sorry I didn't mean to upset you etc.) OMG WOW YOU CRIED!! ! (I expected consoling or something nice) instead I get yelled at. Once again the whole get over it debate and she asked how I could handle College if I can't even set foot on one or flinch when passing one locally down the street. I was crying central in Boston. Do you know what's in Boston? Yes Colleges Yale!! HARVARD!! !! ETC!! !! !! !! !! I was a wreck and in NY I WAS IN WALKING DISTANCE OF EMPIRE STATE UNVIERSITY!! !! Sure my sister said "Oh if you were in College you wouldn't be on this fun trip." I said sure but IMO COLLEGE>ANY TRIP!! !! ! Sure just go back but financially I can't afford it now and mom is kind of right if I get upset now CAN I TRULY HANDLE GOING BACK?! !! ! :-( Sorry for venting for the 1,000th time about the issue but thinks for listening. :-)



j0sh
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23 Jan 2010, 3:31 pm

Zelda,

Maybe an online university would be cheaper and less stressful for you. If you are able to apply your focus to self study, maybe you don't even need college. There are multiple ways to get educated. I know you have your heart set on college, but maybe a non traditional education environment would get you what you're after without all the stress.



elderwanda
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23 Jan 2010, 4:36 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:
Obviously once again I'm bringing up the College issue but it's really upsetting me. I went to the campus Tuesday and was balling in tears!! ! I finally told my mom she was like WHAT YOU CRIED OMG! WHAT DID THE JOB COACH SAY!! !! (me: Uh she said sorry I didn't mean to upset you etc.) OMG WOW YOU CRIED!! ! (I expected consoling or something nice) instead I get yelled at. Once again the whole get over it debate and she asked how I could handle College if I can't even set foot on one or flinch when passing one locally down the street. I was crying central in Boston. Do you know what's in Boston? Yes Colleges Yale!! HARVARD!! !! ETC!! !! !! !! !! I was a wreck and in NY I WAS IN WALKING DISTANCE OF EMPIRE STATE UNVIERSITY!! !! Sure my sister said "Oh if you were in College you wouldn't be on this fun trip." I said sure but IMO COLLEGE>ANY TRIP!! !! ! Sure just go back but financially I can't afford it now and mom is kind of right if I get upset now CAN I TRULY HANDLE GOING BACK?! !! ! :-( Sorry for venting for the 1,000th time about the issue but thinks for listening. :-)



What exactly is it about "college" that you want so much? Is it the education, being able to do research projects and sitting in the library looking at academic journals? Is it participating in classroom discussions? Is it the opportunity for the social stuff that college supposedly brings? Is it earning a degree?

Perhaps it would be possible for you to satisfy your need for college by a different route for the time being.



zeldapsychology
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23 Jan 2010, 4:43 pm

Good points. :-) I think I need to find out what is it that I enjoyed so much LOL!! !! (Great now I have something else to ponder and think over LOL!) Thanks. :-)



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24 Jan 2010, 10:41 am

listen to this: your in college and your moms not! tell her to get a life


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zeldapsychology
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24 Jan 2010, 10:57 am

richardbenson wrote:
listen to this: your in college and your moms not! tell her to get a life



I kind of agree she doesn't know how this feels. :-( Thanks for the encouragement. :-) I had a therapist toss the "get over it" advice but I remember my Psychology teacher (when me and a student were discussing an issue) The teacher response "I've never been in that situation so I wouldn't know." IMO DING DING DING! THAT'S HOW YOU SHOULD HANDLE IT YOU'VE NEVER UPSET EVERYONE IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT/GET KICKED OUT OF COLLEGE ETC. WHO ARE YOU (TO MOM ETC.) TO TELL ME GET OVER IT SHEESH! LOL!



pezar
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24 Jan 2010, 11:33 am

Zelda, I was kicked out of City College of San Francisco in 1995 for "lack of ability to benefit from (the college's) services". I was terribly unstable at the time-I was only 20. I simply left SF and went back to Sacramento and enrolled in Sacramento City College. I eventually finished, although it took until 2001. It seems to me that somebody has placed a HUGE expectation upon you that you HAVE TO lead an "NT college life". Well you won't, because you're not NT. I dealt with the same thing. Once I admitted that Stanford was likely not in my future, I settled down. Have you tried community college, or even trade school? Oh and another thing: I was EXTREMELY lonely in college. Not everybody has the carefree college party hearty years. Aspies are especially prone to loneliness.



zeldapsychology
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24 Jan 2010, 9:31 pm

pezar wrote:
Zelda, I was kicked out of City College of San Francisco in 1995 for "lack of ability to benefit from (the college's) services". I was terribly unstable at the time-I was only 20. I simply left SF and went back to Sacramento and enrolled in Sacramento City College. I eventually finished, although it took until 2001. It seems to me that somebody has placed a HUGE expectation upon you that you HAVE TO lead an "NT college life". Well you won't, because you're not NT. I dealt with the same thing. Once I admitted that Stanford was likely not in my future, I settled down. Have you tried community college, or even trade school? Oh and another thing: I was EXTREMELY lonely in college. Not everybody has the carefree college party hearty years. Aspies are especially prone to loneliness.



Pezar. The College I did get kicked out of WAS Community College LOL! Ya I know! It wasn't some University but the small communtiy college where I had beahvior upsets. :-( Thanks though for the advice.



monsterland
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24 Jan 2010, 11:19 pm

pezar wrote:
Zelda, I was kicked out of City College of San Francisco in 1995 for "lack of ability to benefit from (the college's) services". I was terribly unstable at the time-I was only 20. I simply left SF and went back to Sacramento and enrolled in Sacramento City College. I eventually finished, although it took until 2001. It seems to me that somebody has placed a HUGE expectation upon you that you HAVE TO lead an "NT college life". Well you won't, because you're not NT. I dealt with the same thing. Once I admitted that Stanford was likely not in my future, I settled down. Have you tried community college, or even trade school? Oh and another thing: I was EXTREMELY lonely in college. Not everybody has the carefree college party hearty years. Aspies are especially prone to loneliness.


I joined and left CCSF in 1995 as well. Then I joined Skyline in 1998 and left it too. College effin' sucked.



pezar
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26 Jan 2010, 11:04 am

monsterland wrote:
I joined and left CCSF in 1995 as well. Then I joined Skyline in 1998 and left it too. College effin' sucked.


Monsterland, I'm sure you're aware of CCSF's idiotic probationary system. That's how I got booted. I would enroll in classes and then drop out because I was so unstable. Every time I dropped a class, I got a black mark for "academic probation". I finally racked up too many black marks for dropping too many classes, and then they booted me out. I NEVER had that problem at Sac City, they were MUCH more forgiving, and didn't have an academic probation system. CCSF's academic probation system was the WORST THING about that stupid college. I've heard of San Franciscans going to Skyline after being kicked out of CCSF. I just moved back to Sacramento, I grew up in Roseville.