Fathers, meh...

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Feel like ranting about my life here. Yay.

I've been planning on finding some part-time voluntary work since I'm on disability, and I need to boost my confidence and esteem if I will ever be able to get a job, so I thought by appling for a job at a local charity shop would be just the small stepping stone I needed.

However, dad thinks that I'll never get a job because I didn't cope with the other jobs I've done a couple of years ago. Funny... I thought that parents were supposed to feel pleased that I'm willing to give it another go despite the failures I've had? I know he means well, but I don't want to stay trapped inside a protective bubble for the rest of my life. :/

Anyone here has the same problem with nagging parents?

My father told me I would never amount to anything in my life. Well, he was wrong. I am very successful in my professional and personal life.

I think I was so disgusted with his lack of support that it spurred me to try that much harder.

Give it a go! Good luck!

Thanks, I will.

I know of someone who works in that said shop, so maybe she can help me find some part-time work there. I'll speak with her tomorrow about it, and see what she says.

My father is a manipulative ass who likes to take out his boredom on other people by causing problems. (he and my mom split while she was pregnant with me) I don't talk to him at all, I realized that just because he is my father doesn't mean he is good for me. I think sometimes you have to seperate yourself from toxic people, even if they are your parents. Sorry to hear your dad is being so unsupportive.

My Dad wants me to be preppy and straight.


-SpaceCase

I'm sorry your dad is being unsupportive. My dad pretends to be supportive, but he'll nag about anything, and if you make a mistake he'll remember it forever. My father is a mindf***er to the extreme. Here is an excerpt from a Livejournal comment I left about him a couple weeks ago:

He has this magic way of finding everyone's weaknesses/sensitive spots and playing into them. Like he knows how my mom is shy about bodily functions and stuff.....he used to go into the bathroom after she went and commented LOUDLY about how much it stunk. Or he said that the reason the fake leather on our old dining room chairs cracked is because she farted on them. You can't cry or get angry around him, because he'll just make it worse.

He also has the same control-freak tendencies and has to have things a certain way just because he says so. Something may go unnoticed for days, weeks, or even months, but once he notices it, it has to be corrected OMGRIGHTNOW!! !!111oneoneinfinity! or he'll flip out. He's talking about having a child with his second wife. I feel bad for the kid and it hasn't even been conceived yet.

The thing that sucks? You can't confront him or disagree about ANYTHING, because he'll either deny it happened in the first place, or make you out to be an overreacting drama queen. He's always right, everyone else is always wrong, and it's maddening like nothing else. He also became a fanatical ghod-warrior about 10 years ago, so he pretends like anything he did before June 1995 never happened. *EYEROLL*

Thepeaguy,

I'm glad you are going to give it a try. I hope it works out for you. Just remember why it didn't work the last times and try to improve yourself.

I didn't mean to give the impression that I disrespected my father. I loved him very much. You see, he was AS. I'm NT and my son is AS. I think my father was so hard on me because he felt so bad about his misgivings. He was brilliant but could never apply himself nor keep a job. I think he was afraid I would be the same way.

Well, I wish he were still with us today, so he could see how well I have done. Our parents won't always be there to protect or hound us forever. I think it's admirable that you want to try again.

My step dad said I cant tell him not to put his feet on the table because I dont pay rent.

To give you the jist of my dad... I was supposed to get an insurance settlement for the accident I as in (that made me aspieish) but because he didnt think I would ever make it into college insted of getting the money know when I need it I get the money when Im 23 and 28 (because he though I would need more money then) how fun.

_________________
"we never get respect ... never a fair trial
[swearing removed by lau] ... as long as we smile"
Im tired of smiling.

Vote for me in 2020

Topic author noted that;

fahreeq wrote:
I'm sorry your dad is being unsupportive. My dad pretends to be supportive, but he'll nag about anything, and if you make a mistake he'll remember it forever. My father is a mindf***er to the extreme. Here is an excerpt from a Livejournal comment I left about him a couple weeks ago:

He has this magic way of finding everyone's weaknesses/sensitive spots and playing into them. Like he knows how my mom is shy about bodily functions and stuff.....he used to go into the bathroom after she went and commented LOUDLY about how much it stunk. Or he said that the reason the fake leather on our old dining room chairs cracked is because she farted on them. You can't cry or get angry around him, because he'll just make it worse.

He also has the same control-freak tendencies and has to have things a certain way just because he says so. Something may go unnoticed for days, weeks, or even months, but once he notices it, it has to be corrected OMGRIGHTNOW!! !!111oneoneinfinity! or he'll flip out. He's talking about having a child with his second wife. I feel bad for the kid and it hasn't even been conceived yet.

The thing that sucks? You can't confront him or disagree about ANYTHING, because he'll either deny it happened in the first place, or make you out to be an overreacting drama queen. He's always right, everyone else is always wrong, and it's maddening like nothing else. He also became a fanatical ghod-warrior about 10 years ago, so he pretends like anything he did before June 1995 never happened. *EYEROLL*
sounds like my dad to a tee, except for the second wife and god part, as far as i could tell he didn't really believe in anything, he never went to church. He had no appreciatable morals or values or principals. His aproach to parenting was to be loud threating and sarcastic, mixed in with hacknied cliches and overbroad generalities. He is a pathological liar. It wasn't do you know where the remote is? it was where did you put the remote? he would say nothing and be repulsive and vaguely threatening. It was always im prisonor or im thrown in an institiion. he would do something wrong and then say something totally different happened. He had no problem stealing from his job or any where else. A no trespassing sign was to him an open invatation. THe diagnosis was a licensse for him to get me.
it was like he had to sieze total controll of me. the more i wanted freedom the more it was taken
away from me. he was always trying to shove drugs down my throat literaly, he would sneak up
on me pin me down try and shove crud like ritalin down my throat. he would terrozize me to point me have a to the point of a psycholical breakdown and hold it against me so he could dominate me, he would become bordline violent had threathen to call the police if did anything in my self defense. he said he would do anything for me and almost always sat on the couch and drank beer. He never listened to a word i said. ANd somehow i was wrong for being right. i catch him in factoul errors and logical fallacies had he would get this reaction say he was tired or his feet hurt abruptly declare the conversation over storm out. i would call him closed minded( im consider my self to be closed minded I knew truth when i heard it he didn't anything that wants to get into my head had to go through a rigourous screening proccess) but he didnt have one. we sort of had the same views about the world but i came to them indepently through my own personal studies, he never told me stand up for my self, it was always shut up and take everyone elses crap. even when he did something right he didnt, it was always for the wrong reason or the wrong method. even now that im in my mid 20's he still is a jackhole. My mind started to fall apart in college( most likely from an endocrine problem) so and had to come home, same old same old he would attack me to the point of having break downs and threaten to throw me out for have one. Living and medical expenses were kind of tight but that didn't stop him from buyinga $20 sports car that was worthless in snow and traffic and didnt really need anyway. i got put on bipolar medication that killed most my mental function and he just never questioned that it wasn't working and actually making it worse. He and my mother took a vacation and you what he said i need rest so i can take care of you, in other words they had time try and actually help me but no sitting on their buts and looking at cheese shops was much more important. I would begg cry please do something and they told me shut up go in you room. they have hy speed internet connection and never thought research a possible answer. He got me a dog wich was really for him and made me take care of it when i could'nt even shave, despite being told i could not take care of a dog. he talked about how much he couldnt wait for my grandparents to die(so he get the inherentance he didnt say that part.) he would throws things at me, like heres a
computer thats supposed make up for you being a worthless human being and being really nasty that it had become obsolete and no longer really usably for much of anything. The worst part is im stuck with him i tried so hard to away and i m under his thumb agaiin, he figures it probaly cheaper just to do not do anything for me and use my disability check for the bare minimum and the dump me off somewhere he finally completely retires.

sorry if it sounds like a rant but im at my literal wits end.[/quote]

Oh, I can totally relate to what you're all saying. I'm planning to move into my own apartment in a few months. However, when I try to talk to my parents about it, they either tell me "zip it", or try to get me to believe that I won't survive on my own. Sometimes, they even complain: "oh yeah, you're going to move out, forget all about us, and toss us in a cheap nursing home". In response, I say "oh, hell no", but think to myself: "maybe there's a reason". When they shut me up like that, I feel like grabbing a hammer and start smashing everything in their house, especially the things that have sentimental value to my parents, since they once threw out my collection of movie stubs that I've been working on for years.

So when I move out I'm thinking about breaking all contact with my parents. They never supported me on anything, unless it somehow benefitted them. Since they complain about it so much, might as well make their complaints come true.

On a side note, "maybe there's a reason" can also be used as a comeback to "you don't love me".

Wow after reading over this thread it seems that some people really suck. Why is that their are so many f****d up people out there? All these manipulators, naracisissts, immature and mean spirited. Sometimes i have to wonder does good REALLY not make junk?


Jman as jman

Meh, I don't even know my real dad. My "step dad" my mom was married to for I think 5 years beat her and cheated on her. Every weekend I'd get to lay awake listening to the fights. I've completely disowned him ibv a very confrontational explosion over the phone (he didn't even get to say a word) that I'm actually quite proud of. After that the guy who she was married to for I believe 7 years was very emotionaly abusive to my mom and myself and his opinion was always the right one. She's now found a nice guy hurrah!

My Dad wanted me to lose my London Accent and keep my 26 inch waist figure. I've ended up weighing 224 lbs at one point and whatever Accent I have, whether it be Cockney or BBC is as strong as it was, when he told me that he wanted me to keep my Figure, and lose my Accent, when I was 12. I'm losing weight for myself and I'm keeping my Accent, because I like it. I live my life according to the AA Poem, changing what I can, such as my Eating and accepting what I can't change do to personal beliefs, such as my Accent. He's also told me that I doomed to a dull financial future, because I wouldn't be able to work at most jobs, because of my Learning Disability. I'm not Slow. I just learn in an unconventional way. It doesn't take me any longer to learn than it does anybody else on either side of my Family. Maybe I'm Socially Slow, but that's different from being Mentally Slow. A lot different. I feel sorry for my Dad, because he can't tell the difference between the two.