dcj123 wrote:
Hello
Forgive me if this is not an appropriate place but I am having some very serious porblems right now. I've tried to commit suicide three times before in my life and I am feeling that way again. Its like no one understands me and I feel like no one ever will; my best friend apparently doesn't trust me and it seems that life its not worth living anymore. I keep getting diagnosed with more and more mental problems and the trips to the hospital seem to be increasing over the last 3 years. I just can't take it anymore and I am thinking about killing myself with a friend's .380 handgun.
Its just I have so many bad thoughts when I point the gun to my head. Like thinking what if I go to hell for being such a horrible person or wondering what will my family think when I am dead. What should I do? and why should I bother?
Hi dcj123. This is exactly the right place to post. Well done for recognising the feeling; that's something at least that you know when you are at this stage.
When did your best friend say that they did not trust you? What was the situation? If it's any consolation, I do not trust my own best friend or my bf 100%. I love them dearly, but there is always a part of me that is wary. That is my problem though, not theirs and you should think of your friend in the same way. It is a shame that they do not trust you, but it is their loss not yours and you shouldn't let it affect you this much.
Don't worry about the diagnoses; they may not be correct, and even if you do tick some boxes in the DSMIV, that doesn't make you any less of an individual or human being. You are the same person you always were.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you pull through this tough patch.