If someone sees you crying.....

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What happens? Does someone yell at you or console you or what? I get upset over the College issue still and at times this does lead to crying (you hold back the hurt/pain forever and sometimes it shows through) mom's like: WHY ARE YOU CRYING! Me: No reason I'm tired (I lie) mom:NO TELL ME NOW WHY ARE YOU CRYING!? etc. I went to the "college" a couple weeks ago and had a HUGE meltdown I was in tears and breathing hard on the way there telling myself I was going to be ok (so much for that) The job coach said Brandy what's wrong? (very nice/caring like) I got out the words (It brought back bad memories) she then said she'd go in and talk for me since there was a job opportunity there.


I told mom I cried she said (OMG YOU CRIED HOW EMBARRASSING WHAT DID THE JOB COACH SAY OMG!) I told her she was nice about it etc. My mom blows her lid alot on my crying issue. I remember back in College I saw an old friend/bully (he's your friend BUT when you go to play with other friends he hit me ya I know how to pick them!! !!) Anyway he apologized for the past we hugged and exchanged numbers. Due to the past mom was like (YOU DON'T NEED TO BE TALKING TO HIM DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HE DID TO YOU?! TELL YOUR PSYCHOLOGY TEACHER SHE'LL AGREE WITH ME!! !! !! !) I did teacher response (You already know what to do. Me: I do Her: Yes) Very good advice IMO which is why I stand by teacher>parent on alot of things. (Plus hey SHE WAS the one with the Psychology degree not my mom LOL!)

95% of aspie problems would be solved by moving out of the house and getting away from the people who make life a thousand times more stressful than it has to be already.

Thanks Bluemage but financially right now I don't have the money to get an apartment or anything and filing for Section 8 there are no applications so I manage as best as I can thanks though.

Yeah I know it's hard or impossible to move out for plenty of people in their twenties, aspie or NT. I wonder how I manage to get by on my own sometimes. My point you deserve better than having someone be shrill and unsupportive and punish you for showing emotion. When someone's crying they need comfort not someone going "omg how embarassing stop crying!" Talk about lack of empathy.

You just have to learn to conceal your emotions, get hurt enough times your able to switch them on and off like a tap. Like a shield you can block your emotions or just block others seeing them. And yeah I know where your coming from. If your mums a cow just don't tell her stuff. Helps a lot.

My mom sounds a lot like yours..it's not that she's harsh or mean, she's just always been the type to not show much emotion herself. I can count on one hand probably the number of times I've seen her cry. When something happens, her way is to suck it up, deal with it if you can, if not forget about it and go about life. When I was little I was never allowed to really vent or complain or cry, I would be told to stop crying and quit acting like a baby. She also was not the type to give hugs or anything either. My dad wasn't either, but he was more in touch with his feelings and the older he gets the more open he gets about talking about things. My mom isn't a harsh woman, she's actually very caring and strong, but I don't think she even knows how much her behavior has affected me even into adulthood. If I even talk about myself now or complain or cry or anything I feel very guilty and stupid.

zeek, i'm sorry to hear that, but i am glad someone can relate to what i said. i kind of feel like due to not being hugged or bragged on or anything as a child it's somehow stunted me emotionally. i cant blame that completely as there are other reasons for the way i am, but i completely lack the ability the form relationships and be open with people even though i want to really bad sometimes. over time i've learned to just accept it was how it was and now i am an adult and cant live in the past, but whenever i see parents hugging their kids or families being close i get really jealous. that is why i ALWAYS hug and kiss and compliment my niece as much as possible.

i also feel like if i talk about myself its being self centered too. how would my problems be so important in a world full of even more suffering than what i've experienced? ive just learned to go through life silent and i prefer to blend into the background.

they either yell or laugh at me

Even now I cry more when I'm around my Dad then when I'm by myself. Just hang on, you won't be stuck at home forever.

My Dad reacts like your Mom by the way. I'm thirtyeight.

They either treat me like crap or they actually sit down next to me and ask what's wrong. I made the mistake of hanging around with people who do the former.