Self Esteem

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On average what level is your self esteem?
on a scale of 0-10
10 being you are 100% happy with yourself.
0 being that you hate yourself 100%

I would say mine is 4-8 depending on situation.

Most of the time I wish that I was never born so, I guess that I couldn't go too high on that scale. But it's not really because I hate myself, it's more that I would have rather spared myself some of the experiences that I have gone through, and there has been more overwhelmingly bad in my life than good.

But I would have to say that the scale has very much changed both due to age and circumstance. When I was younger I did hate myself, so I was in the 0-4 range until I got away from my family at 18. From then I was probably in the 4-8 range and peaking when I was in a relationship. Perhaps it's unfortunate that my self-esteem hinges so much on feeling romantic love from a partner, but I don't see how that will ever change.

For me, this is completely related to the fact that I've only known for a year that I have Asperger's, and that, from the ages of roughly 11 to 20 I was rather severally depressed in phases and self injuring. Any comparison I can make is from what I know is my past. So judging from what I know, my happiness is an 8 now.

I make better choices, know what I need and want, try to learn how I come across for others.

It's funny that you'd say that, Descartes30, because whenever I feel down (I still do, occasionally) it's due to the fact that I wish I wasn't born. And that is 100 per cent of the time related to negative comments from family members (I don't know what their deal is, really). On one hand because I then would've liked to be spared from all that, and on the other because I wish to have spared others from myself. But luckily, that is hardly the case anymore.