Its been a long time since I've posted here. I've successfully gotten into the course of my choice at TAFE amidst all the horrible incidents and problems. The group I got put into is a good one full of people of all ages and races (not to mention my cousin). Life's been going good so far, I've managed to pull myself out of the massive hole I dug myself into. It's not always perfect but I actually feel happy once again. I'm looking optimistic towards the future, I'm starting to drive again and I actually care about my hygiene again. Not fully self dependent but getting there.
I'm not sure whether to post this here or in the Love and Dating section, but you've probably already guessed my predicament. There's this girl in my class who over the past few weeks I've become attracted to. At first I didn't really notice her but after a couple of weeks we started to engage in light conversation and now when we do group activities she usually is in my group. This shouldn't be a bad thing but sadly it is. I've fallen for her and am slowly falling back into the situation which consumed 2 years of my life and nearly ended it. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that If I don't start displaying my interest for he I'll fall into the "strictly friends" category and then I'm back down the hole of depression. However, even if I do start showing my interest for her (which I have NO idea how to do in the first place), I'm afraid I'll scare her away, mostly due to my huge inexperience with girls.
I'm sick and tired of always puting myself down about every imaginable defect about myself. I'm sick and tired of being ashamed of being me. I want to change and actually start living. But I don't know how. I don't want too fall back down into that hole. I don't think I could survive it once again. Any suggestions? (going to post this quickly before I decide not to post it)
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"You reap what you sow: force answers force, war breeds war, and death only brings death."
