For anyone who will listen

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I'll just make this as brief as possible because there's too much to write down.

Just recently, I've had to leave school because 1) My heart just isn't in college right now and 2) I can't afford it anymore.

I'm 21 years old and all I really want is to move to a different city and get my music career started, but that's unlikely. The reason why I say it's unlikely is because I don't have a car and I never got my license, I don't have even ONE friend and of course no money or a job.
I know it sounds like I'm not even helping myself, but that's not true. I have the feeling that if I just had 1 friend, then things would be so much easier for me. I've went through my whole life without real friends. Mostly just fake friends that I wanted so badly to be real.

Anyways, I'm living with my mom now and I have been since this past November. I really want to start my life, but I can't. You have NO IDEA how much I want to move and get my music career going, but I can't. I'm not suicidal or anything, but sometimes I feel like if I just died, then that would be so much easier. I know I shouldn't say that, but I am.

Every day I wake up thinking, "yeah, I feel ok enough to get something done today", then I end up doing nothing important. I write songs and have ideas every day (I play guitar). I'm also going back and forth working on a short story. But I always feel like it's just not worth it because I'm not gonna be able to move out.

Last month, my plan was to sell $500 worth of stuff, take a train to Chicago, and just live in a motel until I could make at least 1 friend. But I guess I just came to my senses because I never did that.

Please don't just tell me that I need some meds. If you have any advice at all, please help me.

try acting. i do ww2 reenactments, have met alot of great like minded people, and for those couple times a year im not me. becoming someone else is a good way to take the edge off and reflect on the guy you left behind. when i put my life in perspective of a ww2 airborne trooper in the grips of combat, my problems seem trivial at best

Make some money, live your life. Seems like you have the right idea, but I would caution against drastic and unplanned maneuvers. $500 might get you to Chicago and a week at an extended stay hotel. If you work well under pressure maybe you can make it work but I would suggest acquiring a greater sum.

Frankly, living with your mother is not a valid impediment to making music or writing. It is almost a necessity (depending upon the standards you desire for yourself and your ability to express yourself artistically while maintaining those standards). The problem is more likely your feelings of self-worth. If you embark upon your own with this mindset intact you will probably flounder and flail until you're in desperate circumstances. The USA is not the most forgiving place to be poor. If you want that kind of experience to write from, I suppose it'd be worth it. Every choice that involves living is valid even if it doesn't fit into the standard roles that society offers.

I have found that when I am forced into situations where I have to socialize, I can make friends somwhat easier (it's still tough though). That usually means work or school for me. Since you need money maybe try getting a job somewhere you can have a somewhat OK time? And then work on music and saving money in the meantime? Wish you luck Hope you feel better

Fair enough, college isn't for everyone.


To be honest, if you have no money or job, moving to a different city is a very bad idea.


Having a friend won't make anything easier, seriously. I know it's easy to think they are the solution to all life's problems if you've never had one, and it can be fun to have someone to hang out with, but with regards to your current issues (job, money, life), they won't be much use.


OK, you're clearly feelings low, but you need to realise that it's not enough to want something, you have to force yourself to get up and make an effort.


Writing songs and stories are good hobbies to have, but it takes a long time to be established and recognised enough to earn decent money and frankly, the chances of success are low unless you have great motivation. By all means, send off your stories to magazines etc, but if you're planning on making money, you'll need to apply for a job. It doesn't have to be forever, and doesn't have to be something you particularily enjoy.

Selling your stuff is a good idea. Moving into a motel isn't, nor is making 'one friend' your prime goal.



I don't think you need meds. You sound like you need motivation and meds may just make you drowsy or make you feel you ought to give up.

Don't give up, but make a list of what you want to achieve in life and sit down and honestly work out how you are going to achieve this step by step. It's not enough to say you want to be a songwriter and sit around until it happens. Sometimes it isn't possible to do exactly what you want to do, so have a look at alternatives that you might like (i.e. working backstage at gigs).

Lene and everyone else, thanks for the help!!

Lene, I never thought about working backstage and that's a great idea, but it's hard to do when you don't have a car. Maybe I can work my way in though and just figure it out for myself. Everything you replied to was right and it helps a lot for me to sit down and plan stuff out. thanks

No problem, glad I could help

My brother works backstage all the time and he can't drive. Most bands have their own transport, and you can always try arranging a lift or using public transport to get to the venue.

Could you try to get a license? Then you could sell your stuff in an effort to save up for a car.

Maybe you could get a job, and save up for a car and a license.