Disillusioned and jaded with the whole Aspie scene

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Sure, I am experiencing a lot of social stress lately, but I recognise a lot of that is from socialising with other Aspies. I've come to realise just how tough and demanding that is. To be critical about it would be to be intolerant of my own condition, or people with it. Many of these things are because of AS anyway, so I have to be understanding about that. There are just things I'm finding so hard lately about interaction with Aspie people that has brought me to a point where I'm finding it too difficult.

First of all, I must admit I'm sick fed up of having conversations with people who monologue, with whom I can hardly ever get a word in. Any time I do get to speak, I'm immediately interrupted, which pisses me off. It's downright rude and ill mannered though I know these can be Aspie traits.

Then, there is the fact I have fallen in with a group of Aspies with whom I go out on Saturday nights, and other nights. That's all very well and good, it's a very good thing. But I have had a rude awakening having realised I seriously fall foul due to my restricted interests (causes me to get lost in conversations as I know nothing about the subject), difficulty in loud environments (can't hear a word people say, breaking down communication) and difficulty with sarcasm and banter - essential for all social interaction even, it seems, with a group of Aspies. I guess, this isn't what I expected Asperger's to be when I first found out about it but admittedly, we are talking a more socially able group of Aspies (thus, the condition is often merely mild), as they are able to form a group of people who reguarly go out, and indeed, for the most part, are able to mate successfully. But, being a very Aspie guy myself, being with this group still highlights quite strongly how I struggle with different aspects of social interaction. One guy is, there is no doubt, very social, it's just that he's social in an apparently obsessive-compulsive way, also he's extremely imposing and (as far as I'm experiencing) manipulative. I am starting to really feel there is an attempt to manipulate and control me, which I'm trying to resist, but finding disheartening.

Lastly, I DIDN'T appreciate being accused of being an ephebophile by an Aspie just because I didn't agree with his political ideology.

There's just a lot of stuff that's caused me to become disillusioned and jaded with the Aspie scene. It would be interesting to know if any other Aspies have had similar experiences of socialising a lot with Aspies, but still found it hard going?

Being an Aspie dosen't necessarily mean you will get along with all aspies. Maybe you should find another group to socialize with. It's hard for some aspies to be around other aspies because you see a lot of the irritating things they do similar to what you do. This might not be the case for you though. I haven't met a lot of aspies. My cousin has it and we get along pretty well.

wow....I only know other Aspies online, and some in a professional capacity (so I don't socialize with them) so I can't comment on your particular situation, except to say that accusing someone of being an ephebophile based only on a political difference isn't *your* social ineptitude, it's that person's. To me, even if the other ppl were Aspies, I would still have a hard time socializing in a group situation, particularly if it's in a loud environment. While I think I'd find it refreshing to interact with *one* other person with AS, I don't think I'd want to go out with a group of people, Aspie or not.

Just my opinion, of course, but I think the problem may not so much be that they're Aspies, but rather that there are quite a few of you trying to have a good time. I don't know that an equivalent number of neurotypicals would be easier to deal with.

~Kate

How do they put it . . . the more alike you are with someone, the less likely you are to get along. This reminds me of a situation i had in a ASD Social group some time ago . . . one guy tends to shoot his mouth off (AS related issue) and he said something about the political parties (Liberals/Democrats in particular) and another guy was offended by it. Admittedly, there arent that many in the spectrum here i can talk to (at least within reasonable driving distance) and, well, we in the spectrum dont really talk to each other much anyway (save for sites like this and some other online gatherings). Oddly, the guy you describe sounds a lot like my uncle (whom never had a diagnosis but the evidence was strong that he was in the spectrum): Socially overbearing Aspie, known for soliloquies and had no idea that what he said could be interpreted as wrong/insulting. How you handle the scenario is still up to you, but it doesnt hurt to tell him he insulted you . . . and if he goes on a rant, i suggest keeping a distance. "If you've met one person in the autism spectrum, you've met one person in the autism spectrum," i think someone on this site stated before. Dont let one bad situation ruin you future encounters (yes, i know that is one of the harder things for those in the spectrum to grasp ).

Last summer I was at my local autism group and this woman was talking about her step dad and saying what a horrible person her mom was and then she goes onto talking about how parents don't accept their autistic kids and they want to change them and all. Then I speak up a few minutes later because I disagreed what she said and before I could go on, she screams "My step dad raped me because my mom told him it was okay, does that make you happy?" and she kept screaming at me.

It was very upsetting and the leader had to sort it out because it was a misunderstanding. I just don't talk to this person and I try and avoid talking to her because she has some nasty streaks and anything could set her off. People say it was an AS thing I did but I don't see how that could be an aspie thing. I think anyone would have done it because they wouldn't know about her past.