i am out stuff is good butt.....

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im out stuff is going good but

i had met a big time energy healer who helped get me healing agains

my case managers services are working again

but the stress of my place and hearing my mothers insanity on the phone threw that off balance

cogntive damage is interfearing with effective proccessing
of whats going on and what im supposed to do
my recover was thrown out of wack

i dont want to come back into the world in this fashion

i dont want to be brain injured for ever
or chemically injured or rem sleep disorder or any of the other nasty stuff this crud can do if not handled properlyy
i need to find someone/something to quickly reverse some of the damage b4 it sets in for good but i dont have the slightless clue about finding them(i know someone right now but she hasnt gotten back to me) or 4 worse getting it paid 4 because insurance doesnt actually cover what heals people

all my peer people are like now my friends genreally dislike hearing pear type stuff family too

i wanted to have my recovery be recovered and go one to do all the awesome stuff i wanted

as opposed to be brain injured and have that be it or drift around the cosmos for ever

Last edited by nightbender on 13 Apr 2010, 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

recovery is always a process, and sometimes it doesn't take a short time, and you still have to work on it when you are better too. Dont be discouraged.

thanks bu t thats the answer i here alot sometimes recovery becomes sort of metaphorical sysphys model where it something thats not really achievalbe in the persons lifetime ha vitnng a major limit impossed condemmed to keeping coming close but never really achievingng it as opposed to very intesne literall proccess involving lotss of high end existenstil stuf that is triggered after a succefull w/d where you completely rebuild yourself better than before
learn all the stuff you never learned in the first place relearn everthing you already knew and could do and go on to do the stuff you allways dreamed of and put this stuff behind you that brought you to the need for recovery in the first place

i didnt expect a short t it ime i expected it to take as long as it would be but i want to have been contiounous and then fine its it

thanks though thats the sort of answer that i hear sometime

i had a very intense litteral proccess where i was going to go through it and go through it be
done and be better for it as opposed to the more metaphorical Sisyphus model where its somhing that is never achievable in a persons


its especially important that i find someone becasued those places literally starved me lost about 30lbs in a month from malnutritkion and i hope it has not messed up my metabolism

its also practicall too what i need seems to shift from a day to day basis or even minute to minute

wich others dont process well

(mom was falling all over herself to buy groceries for me and i was all about being indepenant and was doing alot of stuff and right know i am having trouble getting out of bed and she was less enthoused later that i mentioned it later) ( people dont like being jerked around and the stuff that has been dumped on me has had made that happen in the past)

I hope that things go well, for you.

Well I am sorry my answer was not very helpful. I just know from life that this is what happens as time goes by- we learn and improve ourselves, and things happen to sort of knock us back a peg, then you just take what you have learned and keep going. If you don't do that you just stay knocked down on that peg, and it is easier to get knocked down further.

Do you think you were moving too fast in the direction of independence? Maybe you did too much too soon? Where the heck did you go that they starved you like that- a wilderness retreat or commune?

yes it was helpful all support is

yes i was moving to fast


uhm psych ward.....