I don't like the new carer

Post Reply New Topic

In my care home, as it is a group of care homes, the staff sometimes leave and get replaced. One of my favourite members of staff left a couple of weeks ago. She didn't tell us it was her last day, she just left. I didnt get to say goodbye.

A bungalow is opening next door. It is owned by our house's manager. She is too busy with it at the moment to bother with any of us six in the original house. That's really upsetting me. Anyway several new members of staff have joined because they will all now be shared between our house and the bungalow. Two of them I like, one of them I don't. There are more to come.

The reason I don't like the new member of staff is because she treats me like I am ret*d. She hasn't introduced herself to any of us, she did work with one of the other residents in a previous house but hasn't even spoken to him yet. Anyway, one of the lads who is going to move into the bungalow was visiting and we all went to Paxton pits (a local nature reserve).
Me, two of the new ladies and the visitor. He has AS as well but pretty much just answers any question with yes, no or silence. How he's going to be independant I don't know... But that's not the point. The new lady who I will call M kept asking him questions and making conversation with him. She completely ignored me even when I tried to contribute to the conversaton. She spoke to him and the other member of staff 'L' but not me at all. Later she was boasting that she had a REAL ukelele. L had never seen a ukelele before and asked what it looks like. M told her it looks like a miniature banjo. I stepped in and corrected that actually, that is a banjolele and the yellow guitar shaped uke I had at home was closer to a real ukelele. She got all pissy with me and said, 'No it's a ukelele'. She started going on about her hand crafted banjo too which annoyed me because mine broke a while back (not my fault) and I couldn't afford to repair it.

Later we were walking along and she said, 'let's have a sing-song'. I said no thanks, I only sing in my bedroom or for an audience. We were in the middle of a nature reserve. Wasn't the sounds of the birds nice enough? Besides. a sing song is for little kids, not a 21 year old. We got to a fork in the road. One was the quarry road and the other was the designated path. I went down the designated path, as I have done many times with another carer 'J' but she said we had to carry on down the road because the visitor wanted to go that way or something. I explained that this was the correct way back and proceeded. She kept shouting at me. I kept ignoring her because I was sick of her patronising me. L followed me and told me I shouldn't walk off and I said that at least I was on the correct path. We got back to the car first I might add.

In the car she insulted everyone further telling L that her Nissan Micra was a 'sewing machine on wheels' compared to her Alpha Romeo (snob) and she moaned that the house's mobile phones were those 'silly old fashioned kind' when they are in fact less than a year old. The reason I was angry was because mine is a lot older than the house phones and I like it a lot, age or not.

Just to top it off, this morning she came into my room with my medication. She called my name, which woke me up, however I had earplugs in and a face mask on as well. I moved and tried to get the face mask off, apparently not fast enough though because she pulled the sheets off me. I was really embarrassed because sometimes I like to sleep in my underwear because pyjamas are too hot at the moment. Thankfully I was in my pyjamas that morning.

Is she really being rude or am I just being a b-word?

_________________
I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

It's difficult to be sure right now, but I'm glad you're not reaching a snap judgment yet. Time will help you decide here, but it may take a bit of a concentrated effort on your part to get to know her before those feelings will go away. Also be conscious of the fact that you liked the former carer and there may be a subconscious resentment of this new person trying to "fill their shoes" (even though they may not be trying to do so, that is the role they have taken on).

I've always found it easier to like someone once I one-on-one them and make an effort to dig up their motivations. You could ask what got her started in caregiving, as an example. That might lead to an insight or something more interesting.

I hope she ends up being a good one for you.

I hope that she shapes up, soon. I know that I wouldn't tolerate such treatment.

I've given a complaint to my house manager after I ended up spilling out my entire problem to a different carer. She is going to look into it. Hopefully this new lady isn't going to be nasty anymore because I don't want any more problems.

_________________
I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )