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I really want to kill myself....(not really)

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lightening020
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16 Apr 2010, 6:59 am

...I couldnt and dont want to hurt my family but.....

why the F*** is my life this bad? Why does it feel like I will never have self-confidence? It really feels like never. Feels like I will never have a chance to be and do what I want to do and instead be confined to this shell my whole life missing everything. Whats the point of life if your miserable all the time and don't have anything going for you.

Why have I failed at everything Iv done and not learned anything.

How do you get confidence? I wish I was confident. Whenever it feels like I am starting to make progress and I am feeling more confident all the sudden I run into a brick wall and fall on my face.

Why do some people just naturally progress in life while I am just ever stuck in the same place. How do some people just have confidence. AS or not if its me really doesn't matter at this point

I have a crap job. Thats the only thing in my life right now, and I cant go anywhere or else i will be homeless.

I feel like everyone is judging me and I'm the laughingstock. I hate where Im at, hate where I live, hate the fact that I have nothing and I never had anything.

Iv tried changing before and It never works.....but I know I need to do major change
scariest feeling ever......that I wont ever have confidence, things will never change.



Mouldy
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16 Apr 2010, 7:47 am

Well there is an easy option that will pretty much destin your life to misery and that is by giving up, For gods sake man self confidence isnt given it is earned over time and is gained by exsperience and keep trying and the feeling of people looking down on you is merely a side effect of low self confidence. Sure im noot saying im the most confident guy but still i dont give a damn i just try improve it the best i can.

So pick yourself up and get confident, Because if you dont you wont have to kill yourself because i will kill you myself! .... well maybe not but you get the picture :wink:


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Cad
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16 Apr 2010, 8:02 am

Mouldy wrote:
Well there is an easy option that will pretty much destin your life to misery and that is by giving up, For gods sake man self confidence isnt given it is earned over time and is gained by exsperience and keep trying and the feeling of people looking down on you is merely a side effect of low self confidence. Sure im noot saying im the most confident guy but still i dont give a damn i just try improve it the best i can.

So pick yourself up and get confident, Because if you dont you wont have to kill yourself because i will kill you myself! .... well maybe not but you get the picture :wink:


Well said Mouldy. Lighten up lightening020,....I know exactly how you feel though, I used to feel like you about life for a long time. The only way I got confidence is I just had to keep telling myself 'the only one who can change my life/make me happy is ME.' You don't need to majorly change anything as you seem to think you do, just change a bit here and a bit there and over time it will all work out. It's hard, but the only way I stopped being miserable, is, by stopping being miserable. Easier said than done, I know, but it's not impossible! ;)



lightening020
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16 Apr 2010, 8:12 am

i keep going through cycles were I feel kind of confident, and then its gone. Almost like I keep relapsing into despair and misery. I just dont know whats wrong with me.

I guess what im saying everything feels so daunting when I have to start from scratch at 22. I know confidence is earned. I just cant understand how alot of people just inherit it or come through it growing up and it flows.

I dont know what Im doing posting on here like I actually expect any meaningful responses that are going to give me a different outlook on life, but your response was pretty weak. You might be my age or younger and have more success in general in life for reasons that may be from unknown factors or you might have just gotten lucky. Nobody knows what its like to be me except me

The most cliche and redundant phrase as it gets, but nobody understands me. Nobody gets me, I feel completely alone even here. My parents dont have a f**** clue. Yes I sound like I am 15. I know thats the point though I am a trillion miles away from where I want to be.

I feel like I am naked with no food and no supplies trying to climb a mountain.



Willard
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16 Apr 2010, 12:41 pm

lightening020 wrote:
How do you get confidence? I wish I was confident. Whenever it feels like I am starting to make progress and I am feeling more confident all the sudden I run into a brick wall and fall on my face.


That's exactly how you get confidence. Falling on your face and getting up again. As the time you remain on your feet lengthens and the time you spend getting off your face and on your feet again shortens, your confidence will grow. You won't feel this happening - one day you'll just look around and think "Hey! I hardly ever fall on my face anymore!" That IS confidence. :D

"I NEVER fall on my face" - that's overconfidence, and it's a delusion. Never be stupid enough to believe you're so good, you can't fall on your face. :oops: