I need to vent. I want to beat up my brother,
and when he's down, I just want to keep on kicking him.
That's because I'm always the bad guy. Last week when I saw him at dinner, he really upset me and I'm still upset about it. He said I was lazy and I'll never amount to anything. here's what's going on. I just began a new job, which is a high paying job. I got it through a union apprenticeship program. Now all of the sudden I'm lazy because I went through a union apprenticeship program, and now i have a union job. Not only that, I'm now somehow unpatriotic and now I'm a socialist.
OK, here's the difference between him and me. When I graduated high school, I went to work at two full time minimum wage jobs. My brother is 27 and he has never had a full time job. He works for my dad part of the year, and the rest of the time he lounged around the house in his underwear and high school football jersey until dad kicked him out earlier this year. My brother has lots of friends. Dad told him to either go to college or get a job. He signed up for college, but that doesn't start until this fall. He just moved in with one of his friends, which he has many of them. I have no social skills, therefore I do not have the luxury of moving in with friends. He never got a job, and he claims it's President Obama's fault he can't get a job. He says I'm lazy and I don't contribute to society.
However, he does have time to participate in TEA parties. My understanding is that TEA is an acronym for "Taxed Enough Already" What the hell is he talking about? His tax refunds have always been greater than his tax liability. He pays a negative amount of taxes!!
I ran into one of his jerk friends, and his friend told me "So, your brother tells me you're a socialist." I didn't do very well in social studies, so I had to look up the term "socialist". I'm not a socialist. I don't advocate government ownership of the means of production. I'm not even registered to vote. I don't understand politics, because they are so irrational and illogical to me, and since that's the case, I believe I'm doing the rest of country a favor by not voting.
He says I'm lazy, I don't contribute to society, and I'm a socialist.
Where does he come up with this garbage??
He's attributes political views to me that I don't have. He tells other people I've said things which I've never said. I hate that, and I want to knock his block off.
You don't need to stop me. I always stop myself. I have a deep desire to beat the out of him, but when I get that angry, I shut down, I can't move, and I never have a good reply, and I stay angry for sometimes more than a month after it happened! How much abuse do I have to take to override the shutdown?
Life_In_Defiance
Butterfly

Joined: 15 Mar 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 9
Location: San Francisco, CA
hey Kevin_I congratulations on your success for obtaining a good working position. the fact that you have shown to have better opportunities than your brother might make him jealous of you. this is why he might be trying to make you feel bad by applying negative comments. I know those types of comments hurt and make one angry but maybe that is his goal, to get you to be upset. if you do get upset he has accomplished his goal. you can try and use passive agression and be nice to him about what he says next time and see how he reacts, if his goal was to just get you mad and you dont Then this would turn his verbal abuse back to him and he would be the one in anger because he did not see you mad (even if you were angry inside). whenever he says something bad to you it could be taken as a compliment as he would like to be in your possition. he would like to be the one in that cool job for example. he might be thinking that if he can't jet a job like yours then nobody else can and he would try to make life difficult for the person who gets the job he wanted. if you see, those comments apply only to him. he is the lazy one for not looking for a job, and he is the one that does not contribute to society. he might even be hiding the fact he is a socialit and just says comments on your behalf to express what he feels. his own life is where he comes up with this, maybe. hope thigs get better!
CockneyRebel
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 118,465
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
@Apple: I tried to stay away from making this into a political debate, as did the OP. Your comments, however, are quite inflammatory not just toward his brother, but toward a large group of people, myself included, who his brother does not represent in any way, shape or form.
Since the beginning of time people with an emptiness inside were drawn to belong to something that would make them feel superior. Low minds like the OP's brother, for instance.
However using them as a strawman projection on an entire political movement is intellectual dishonesty. If you must, I'd appreciate if you engage that in a subforum dedicated to that very thing - the Politics forum.
Thanks.
P.S. the OP does sound like the "smart one", for he can discern the difference between comparison of personal qualities and "causes one belongs to". The latter can be shuffled to suit a weak, needful mind. The former is very hard to alter.
OP -- These are the facts in your situation:
1. You have a job -- a good job. Smart. +++++
2. You have the intelligence to look up the true meaning of socialist. Smart. +++++++
3. You're brother doesn't have a job, and blames it on the President. Dumb ----------
4. Still wearing his High school football jersey? Former jock who can't get over his "glory days". Dumb -------
5. Never had a full-time job, and he's 27? Dumb ------
6. Associates with TEA party people? Let's see -- what's the makeup of tea party types? Retired old people, a few homemakers, and guys WHO DON'T HAVE JOBS!! ! I agree with monsterlands's assessment --
You are very obviously superior to your brother. VERY OBVIOUSLY SUPERIOR. Try to not let him, or his type, bother you.
I've already deleted the original, so whatever. But I made no mention of "liberal" or "conservative" or Democrat or Republican. I did leave politics out of it. You could reverse your assumptions or projections about who I was talking about and the meaning would be the same. Maybe the "Obama zombies" are the brainwashed ones caught up in mindless rah-rah. My comment to the OP was that it was good to look a thing up if he didn't know, not that he chose the correct belief in doing so. That isn't a political point, nor a "strawman."
Good luck to the OP with resolving your situation.
As the other posters have said, it would seem that your brother has low self esteem and is trying to make you feel down because he (possibly) thinks that you're up there (having a good job, good wage etc). As others have mentioned, when he gets to you (or feels he gets to you), he may be experiencing a temporary false lift to his self esteem.
To ignore him may work well or to (as someone else said) pretend that you are unaffected by what he says. I think avoiding him altogether may work, if you're not interacting with him, he can't bother you. I realise that this may not be a socially acceptable solution for you though.
To help with the pretending he doesn't bother you plan. If you see that he's getting annoyed about not getting to you, award yourself a point (mentally) each time you see him being annoyed at you not being annoyed. With a 'prize'/treat of some kind you like but don't normally allow yourself, when you reach a specific ammount of points.
Over time you'll probably find it easier to pretend, maybe even eventually not pretending at all in time (due to really not being bothered by him). Your brother seems to be a negative individual, please try to not let him bother you in future (I do understand it's hard to do).
Anger is bad for the body. I hope you can and will do what is best for you in this situation.
That's because I'm always the bad guy. Last week when I saw him at dinner, he really upset me and I'm still upset about it. He said I was lazy and I'll never amount to anything. here's what's going on. I just began a new job, which is a high paying job. I got it through a union apprenticeship program. Now all of the sudden I'm lazy because I went through a union apprenticeship program, and now i have a union job. Not only that, I'm now somehow unpatriotic and now I'm a socialist.
OK, here's the difference between him and me. When I graduated high school, I went to work at two full time minimum wage jobs. My brother is 27 and he has never had a full time job. He works for my dad part of the year, and the rest of the time he lounged around the house in his underwear and high school football jersey until dad kicked him out earlier this year. My brother has lots of friends. Dad told him to either go to college or get a job. He signed up for college, but that doesn't start until this fall. He just moved in with one of his friends, which he has many of them. I have no social skills, therefore I do not have the luxury of moving in with friends. He never got a job, and he claims it's President Obama's fault he can't get a job. He says I'm lazy and I don't contribute to society.
However, he does have time to participate in TEA parties. My understanding is that TEA is an acronym for "Taxed Enough Already" What the hell is he talking about? His tax refunds have always been greater than his tax liability. He pays a negative amount of taxes!!
I ran into one of his jerk friends, and his friend told me "So, your brother tells me you're a socialist." I didn't do very well in social studies, so I had to look up the term "socialist". I'm not a socialist. I don't advocate government ownership of the means of production. I'm not even registered to vote. I don't understand politics, because they are so irrational and illogical to me, and since that's the case, I believe I'm doing the rest of country a favor by not voting.
He says I'm lazy, I don't contribute to society, and I'm a socialist.
Where does he come up with this garbage??
He's attributes political views to me that I don't have. He tells other people I've said things which I've never said. I hate that, and I want to knock his block off.
How come you get a high-paying job and I don't? ITS NOT FAIR!! !! !! Why don't you give ME a high-paying job?!
Wish I kept an exact copy of your original post, so your claims to keeping politics out of it would be easily debunked. Without it, all I can do is laugh at your indignant backpedaling.
@schleppenheimer: You clearly didn't get the point, and you quoted my message out of context. It was meant to show that any movement can be exploited by stupid people like the OP's brother, instead of making an explicit statement about the movement itself.
Please reserve political content for the forum where it belongs. Otherwise it seems you're baiting someone to debate with you whether "socialist" actually means "smart", and whether your demographic representation of a large section of a conservative movement (Tea partiers) is accurate.
congratulations on gaining employment.
hitting people is not good.
CockneyRebel
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 118,465
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
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