Children and Youth Services

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i had to call children and youth services on a person who i no longer talk to as she abuses her 3 year old little girl and now i have 3 people after me from my old group of friends. the thing is unless they attack me the police in my area wont do anything to stop them. Idk wat to do as i am scared to leave my house anymore for fear of getting hurt if i do go out i have to have someone with me as it helps me to feel safe. Does any one have any advice for an aspie who does not know how to defend herself at all

If weapons are against government policy in your area, you can carry dual use objects. Pencils can make excellent stabbing tools, and so can keys. Pepper spray or if you are bastier, wasp spray can be a potent weapon as well.

It's so funny that you wrote in about this because I JUST POSTED something about CPS in a different thread. Before I try to answer your question, I feel I need to tell you some things about my experience with this. Please don't think I'm just trying to guilt you or be hurtful or unnecessarily harsh. I think maybe if you know my story it will help you understand why things are happening the way they are.

Someone my wife and I thought we could trust called CPS on us about our children. We'd done absolutely NOTHING wrong, and yet CPS sent social workers to our house on three separate calls. We were lucky. We were able to provide conclusive proof to the social workers that the calls made on us were completely false and that the person(s) making the calls obviously harbored ill will towards us or were just making a prank. Later on, we spoke with a person within our community who was highly respected about what had happened to us. This person asked some key people some key questions, the message got around, and this hateful behavior abruptly came to an end. I'm sorry if I'm being extremely vague here, but I have to be because of some of the things that were said and that happened over the first 4 or 5 months of last year.

During our ordeal, I did my homework on CPS. As I said, we were VERY lucky because the social workers in our area eventually left us alone after those three visits. Even more striking about our experience is that we actually COOPERATED, which many people will tell you is a mistake when dealing with CPS social workers. As insurance, I set up my laptop to record the conversations we had with CPS, even though they were unaware that I'd done this.

Other CPS workers in different jurisdictions have a HABIT of submitting orders to family court judges without any kind of notification to parents at all. This is highly unusual in the justice system because it amounts to a trial in which no witnesses are called, no jury deliberations, and the defendant is denied legal counsel or even the opportunity for defense. These hearings happen quickly and quietly, and that makes it very easy once the order has been signed for CPS to take the children. It's not impossible for parents to find out about it and take action (calling lawyers and so on), but they are very difficult to fight.

There are supposed to be options for the parents. CPS tells the parents what to do and the parents have to attend meetings or follow-up evaluations. These have to happen when/where CPS tells them, and it often involves the parents missing at least one day of work a week. Employers can't always afford to be so understanding, so these meetings put one's livelihood at stake. It's a catch 22: If you miss a meeting due to job obligations, you lose your kids. But if you miss work and get fired, you lose your kids because you can't hold a job.

So they take your kids. You would THINK they'd at least place the kids with close relatives, like a grandparent or aunts/uncles. But often times you aren't even allowed to even SEE your kids again. They usually get placed in foster "care," and I use that term loosely.

What happens in foster care? These kids get beat up, raped, and sometimes even killed. If they manage to survive, they do so by learning violent behavior. If they DO get reunited with their parents, they aren't even the same kids anymore. They'll bounce from one set of foster parents to another until they're 18 when "the system" just dumps them on the street.

The reason I'm telling you all this is not to hurt your feelings or scare you. You need to understand certain realities and be absolutely sure what you are doing really will improve the situation for this child. If she's really being abused and her life is in danger, it could be the horrors of foster care are preferable to those of her home life. She might even be one of the lucky ones. But to a parent, what you are doing is threatening to break up a family. If the parents care at all about their children, they're going to see what you've done as an intrusion into their home life which, for them, might be working perfectly fine. You'll be subjecting them to a lot of oppressive intervention by a government agency. If they try to battle it out through the legal system, they run the risk of financial ruin. If you do this, you need to be sure that you can live with this on your conscience, because the alternatives might be much worse for the child.

OK... ENOUGH BAD NEWS, ALREADY!! ! I'm wondering about some things, and if I'm trying to help you it will help to know a little more about the situation. What I don't understand is how do they know that you're the one who called children's services? The hotlines are anonymous, and the thing you NEVER should do is give anyone warning about what you do. If you personally witness abuse of a child, you SHOULD confront the parent. I don't mean get in the way if a parent spanks a child because there is nothing wrong or illegal about physically punishing a child. What IS wrong is if there are signs of it, like cuts, bruises, cigarette burns, and so on. A little redness immediately after is OK... But bleeding or bruising is going WAY too far. Side note: Our children have not been frequently punished by spanking, just enough for them to understand why we punish them that way. When our oldest son misbehaves NOW, spanking is more symbolic than physically severe, and we barely even have to touch him at all for him to get the message. I got hit with tree limbs and leather belts growing up often enough I didn't even care anymore, so physical punishment of my own children is something my wife and I are both very sensitive about.

So what I'm asking is whether the child shows severe abuse enough to warrant calling someone and is it possible you may have misunderstood or misinterpreted physical behavior towards the child? How do they know YOU are the one who called since the hotlines are anonymous?

As to what you can do about your situation: Avoid these people, simple as that. You're right that the police can't do anything unless a crime has actually been committed. What you CAN do, though, is keep a diary of everything that they do that causes you fear and anxiety. If you REALLY want to make a case of it, start seeing a psychologist. That way, you'll have a professional counselor who can document the mental/emotional pain you're going through. If things get really bad, you can take these people to court for harassment, emotional pain and suffering (which, by the way, is VERY difficult to prove but seeking professional counseling makes it a little easier). What you do NOT do, though, is talk to a lot of friends, especially mutual friends, about how they treat you because that can actually make the situation worse (they can bring defamation charges against you, for example). I know you don't like having to keep someone with you every time you go out, but for the time being that's the BEST thing you can do. If these people keep giving you trouble, you'll have at least one person who can back you up with the police and/or justice court. I know this because my wife was once a victim of a horribly abusive and jealous ex-boyfriend. Before we went to the cops about it, we discussed this with our friends who had been involved with the situation and who were willing to testify in front of a JP. The jerk failed to get legal counsel, waived a continuation when the judge offered it, couldn't find anything better than "character witnesses" (which means absolutely NOTHING in any court), and admitted EVERYTHING that the judge asked him about. The trial went so fast that I was never even called as a witness (witnesses weren't allowed in that courtroom until they were actually called--keeps them from "getting their stories straight"). Those are some little things to remember that will help protect you in the long run.

I'm not a lawyer, btw. I'm just writing from my own experiences as a witness of the slime of humanity. In my past life as a school teacher, I've had to be aware of kids in abusive or confusing home situations. Fortunately I was never in a situation where I had to make tough calls. I was an unpopular teacher at my last job, and we even had to install video surveillance to deter vandals. I truly hope things don't get worse for you and hope you can keep us posted on how this situation turns out.

I would say that most Child Protection Services workers have the best interest of the children at heart. This is not to say that children are not removed unjustly from their families, but rather to explain the though process of the CPS workers. I think all children should be trained how to contact their parents should they be removed from their home or environment. The bare minimum for each child to learn is their complete address and phone number. That way, should they run away or escape their situation, they can contact family for help and further instructions.

GOOD IDEA.

From Wikipedia, Texas Department of Family Protective Services:

DFPS has a documented history of issues with children placed in its care. A 2004 report by Texas Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn was very critical of the Texas foster care system. A follow-up statement with continued criticisms of the Texas foster care system was made in 2006 by the Comptroller, and renewed a request to have the governor create a Family and Protective Services Crisis Management Team.

The Comptroller stated that in fiscal 2003, 2004 and 2005, respectively 30, 38 and 48 foster children died in the state's care. The number of foster children in the state's care increased 24 percent to 32,474 in Fiscal 2005, while the number of deaths increased 60 percent. Compared to the general population, a child is four times more likely to die in the Texas foster care system. In 2004, about 100 children were treated for poisoning from medications; 63 were treated for rape that occurred while under state care including four-year old twin boys, and 142 children gave birth. A 12-year-old boy died in December 2005, suffocated while being restrained from behind by an employee of the facility. Another died May 30, after drowning in a creek during a bicycle outing. A three-year old was treated for poisoning from an atypical, mind-altering anti-psychotic drug.
The Comptroller's office also found significant financial problems in a 2005 audit of DFPS

What exactly happened in what order? Did you guys fight and then you called CPS? If so, then was the fight over her treatment of her daughter?

I don't trust any government systems especially since governments and bureaucrats have time and time again proven themselves to be corrupt and incompetent. What I said about CPS workers having the best interest of the children at heart is generally true. However, this does not mean that they are correct when it comes to the performance of their jobs. The problem with the government's system of conduct is the fact that it makes rules, policies, and regulations based upon certain models (whether accurate or inaccurate). Government bureaucrats worship these models to the determinate of the people.