Getting overwhelmed by the feelings of others...

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I was recently Dx with AS. I have noticed that I get overwhelmed by the feelings of others (or maybe it's their attitudes)? Basically, if someone around me is very depressed and obviously so it really drags me down- no matter how I myself am feeling (if they are not obvious about it I can miss it- think they are just tired or something. Sometimes the other way around too, like I have a hard time distinguishing between tired and mad/sad).

For instance right now my husband (who also has AS) is very depressed (his job really sucks). He's moped around the whole weekend and been really irritable. Then I call my mom to check on her (hadn't heard from her in awhile and considering she is so nosey and needy it kinda worried me) and she was all drugged up on Valume which she has left over from a Px for a sore shoulder nerve. Only she was taking it because she was depressed and freaked out. people in altered states really make me uneasy. It's like they become really different and I have no clue what to expect. So basically I have spent the whole weekend feeling really sad and down and anxious and just really overwhelmed. I have always been like this and I find it weird because I have such trouble interepting how someone is feeling unless they are obvious about it, and sometimes (especially with sadness) I have serious issues knowing how show them sympathy. But with things like depression or anger, it's like I get dragged down too. I think maybe it's because these particular feelings are especially overwhelming to me (not like the sadness, which I usually have no reaction to, other than "oh, that must suck". Or sometimes I DO react to that, but it is very delayed and it usually has something to do with me personally in that case).

Anyone else know what I am talking about?

I was actually just about to post a topic a bit like this! . Yes, I also get overwhelmed by the feelings of others. For me, I get overwhelmed because they are unhappy and I hate to see them unhappy and I don't want them to be unhappy and I don't know how to stop them being unhappy etc... it just gets to me. I have empathy but I am also useless at knowing what to say or do for someone when there is something wrong.

I really know what you mean about altered mind states, too. When people around me are drunk etc I get scared because I don't know what they'll do, they say things that make no sense, and it's like they become a different person to the one I know.

Exactly. When someone I care about is depressed or unhappy I have no idea how to fix it. Sometimes I try, but I usually just annoy them. So I get really upset.

And people being drunk (or high) really scares me too for exactly the same reasons. I try to explain that to my husband (who was drinking last night- oy) and it's like he doesn't understand. I would think he would a little since he has AS too. But I guess he just doesn't get bothered by people who are in an altered state like I do. I guess that's just a persoanlity thing.

I too have empathy most of the time, it's just that I have trouble expressing it.

I try to tell my therapist it is difficult to talk to her when I am sitting in the same overstuffed saggy couch her last patient sat in, and the one before that, and the one before that and the one before that . . .I feel all of that and sometimes, in the small confines of her office with the florescent lights and her typing away on her laptop computer it is difficult to extract my own mind from the residue from all those other feelings.

so yeah. I know what you mean.

I get that too - when people are angry/fighting/very depressed or any really strong emotion, it's very overwhelming and can be quite scary, I can't be in that situation so I end up running away from it. When people are just sad or upset or whatever, I want to make them feel better but have no idea how so I end up saying something generic that probably doesn't cheer them up.

I'm like that too. I don't know how many of you also do this, but I end up taking on other's problems and ignore my own, until I have a breakdown. I've been trying to work on my "selfish" side and not do that.

I know that this question is a little different, but I do think that it relates. I consider love to be a really strong emotion, does anyone get overwhelmed when someone shows them love? What about when you feel love, can that be overwhelming and scary?

Totally. I clam up when my mom tries to hug me all the time (me being touch sensitive doesn't help either) or when she's gushing lovey information at me a lot. I also get this way with my husband. Which is probably why he is my husband, and not another Ex BF since he's the only one who has seemed to understand why at least some of the time. I usually just end up repeating what they say to me. The feelings are definitely there though. Just have issues expressing them.

That's not the ONLY reason he is my husband, btw. Just realized that sounded lame. He is an amazing person. I just also think that if he were an amazing NT he might have had it with my issues by now, LOL.

I have the same thing. I have called myself an emotional chamaleon. I always pick up the vibes of my environment. Which sucks big when people are feeling down or angry. And that is not uncommon in this horribly uncertain overstressed world we live in.

I just wish I could rise above the prevailing atmosphere and be a strength and motivator for others but instead I suck it all in and dont do much else than commiserate along with the rest.

Actually, I am doing that right now, right here in this thread!

I hate when other people show large displays of (usually negative) emotion. If someone I'm with is clearly sad or crying I don't know how to respond and I want to get away from the situation. I just can't cope with what they're doing because there's not much I can do about it and I just stand there trying to look sympathetic and hiding the fact I really don't want to be there. The idea of someone dying scares me because of the reactions and emotions of the person they were close to, I am extremely relieved if someone is being strong about it, it's a hug weight off my shoulders.
I don't like people showing me lots of affection whether it's saying really lovely things to me or wanting to be physically affectionate, a close friend of mine who I've known for years recently tells me how I'm always there for him and he says I'm the best friend he's ever had and stuff, there was so much niceness and emotion being thrown my way and that was only on MSN as well. I didn't know what to do.

Nice one Sarek. Emotional Charmeleon. I can definately call myself one of those too. Quite literally I can feel others emotions. Lucky for me I don't read emotions too well so I only feel my friends emotions which helps me help them. It helps me look after them. Now if only they could learn to look after themselves

Normally I try not to get caught up in other people's emotions and try to be the strong emotionless one who maintains his cool (least on the outside anyway). The only time that failed despite all my efforts were at my grandmother's funeral. Way too much sorrow in the room with her coffin, and its to be expected. I think I cried only for a short while before I finally was able to shake it off and get focused again. After all I soon had to carry that coffin. :-\

I experience the same thing, as well. I can feel the exact same emotions, as the person or people who happen to be in the same room as me, at any given time. I think with my soft heart, and I don't see anything wrong, with that.

No, sorry. It takes me quite a while to pick up on emotional context and once I do, I can't always relate to it as strongly as the other person, even if it's something I've experienced. I get into trouble because people try to vent around me and I try to offer reasonable solutions to their problems when all they want is commiseration. I feel bad that they feel bad, but my reaction is wanting to fix it for them. I have learned to acknowledge the feelings first, however, before launching into the possible solutions.