Geez I feel like I got stabbed in the heart

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Well as I was browsing the threads I came across this one. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt124641.html
I know its the love and dating section and for some of us who have hope issues that was probably the last thing you want to read. But I can describe the reaction, I felt like I got stabbed (not literally but when I get a strong emotional reaction my nerves will make a feigned feeling of pain depending on what I am feeling about, least thats as much as I can describe IE heartbreaking therefore I get a weird stabbing "feel" in my chest area, all mental though.)

Mostly what set it off was when one of the female posters talked about what women wanted and its just very disappointing as I am in no way capable of that. Perhaps I was at another time but certainly not now, as if getting off that bout of depression wasn't bad enough. Its things like this that can easily start the cycle of agony again, first heartbreak, then bitterness comes, followed by me becoming aggressive towards people (not literally again this is stuff wrestling in my head as I take it in) and then it gets redirected at myself as I do not want to harm others with my emotions. And thats pretty much the cycle of agony at least for me.

Then my desire for human contact plummets. Out of a desire to protect people from my own emotions I bear them all towards myself for my shortcomings. This cycle has repeated itself more times internally then I can even count. Well least its not as negative as the last thread I did, I guess thats something positive.

try this thread
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt121873.html

Asking people themselves what they want never works if it is about relationships.
On an emotional level, people can either not identify their desires or they cannot rationalize it in a way that is understandable for others.
Also, apparently, having an intense interest can be useful, although confidence is also a large factor.
But as of yet, I have not read anything about emotional reciprocity, which I cannot under any circumstances provide, so that is a plus.

@Aimless Yeah I know not all women think that way but unfortunately we live in a mostly NT world and NT women either fear or shun guys like me. Its nothing personal, but if they reject me before they get to even know me thats their loss mostly. I understand that you are trying to break a generalization of what women want and I think thats a good thing.

@ursaminor Valid points though I got confused about the part of emotional reciprocity.

As for why it took so long to respond, I was dealing with family in RL and friends in games online.

Though last night I actually cried, something which hadn't happened for me in a year or so. The combination of this song with thoughts of being with my little niece whom I hadn't seen in a long time. One memory that stuck out in particular that welled up the tears I think was when her parents were gone and my niece was crying (she was only a 2-year old at the time). Now obviously not being married or know how to really deal with the situation like this, I did the only thing I could do. I gave her a hug, kept reassuring her that she was fine until she just cried herself to sleep. I suppose being reminded of that memory with the song reminded me of that special time which I don't think will come again.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TpQILjOFQc[/youtube]

Even now I can describe the feeling of that moment last night. Felt like glands or something were tightening on either side of my mouth were my ears were or something, being tense in the mouth as I tried to hold it back. Tension in the forehead, the feeling of a gentle liquid in my eyes as the memory played in my head.

Why do I mention such a thing? I suppose me crying reminded myself that I was human, not a machine or a beast. Least that was my conclusion at the end of it. I appreciated the feeling, for I hadn't felt it in so long, I had almost forgotten what it felt like.