Watched two dreams die today

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I had two dreams die today.

Dream number one: My brother works at Stennis Space Center he took me on a tour today to see the test stand for the Constellation moon rockets. Except there wont be any rockets, the stand has been abandoned in place, the mission cancelled. I've been a space guy my whole life and today at the base of that stand it hit me i'll never live to see my dream come true. I'll admit I wept at the thought.

Dream number two: I got home and cheacked e-mail messages and got a facebook message that a girl I really liked is engaged after dating a guy for six months. I really liked her and she seemd to like me (we chated every night for months) untill she met this guy now shes gone.

Lord God i'm so tired.

That absolutely terrible. I'm so sorry... I hope you have more dreams to live out, at least one must work out!

I hope that you find some more dreams for yourself, soon.

What a nice thing to say, Cockney Rebel. I second her sentiments. Sounds like you earned a quiet evening.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I can relate to how you feel. But remember that when one door closes, another opens. Which means when some opportunities die, new ones are able to present themselves.

Truth...

I at this time am listening to bagpipes...
and churchbells...
no lie...
random life events...
I am almost 5 decades old...
To boast now of all of the dreams I have had crushed would do niether of us anygood.
yet I feel your pain, and mourn with you.
Something must die before something can be reborn.
sounds like crap dont help the loss, takes belief and hope that their is something more.
and I get up again another day and I look back and i see that if that loss had not had happened I would not be where I am at now.
And I am thankful and I have to say it because loss is gain suffering is empowerment.

Word

Hopefully the rockets will come back with the next administration,. I can't imagine not having a space program for very long,

Thank you all.

I hope something will turn around but this is the third time i've had to rug pulled out from under me on something like this. Frankly its a body blow each time, all the work and time I put into this by talking with politicians and party leaders is totally wasted. I have to wonder if its worth the pain watching your dreams die a slow death again. I'm not sure my country has the right stuff to see this thing to the end. I'm thinking of going back to my teaching instead of dreaming about this anymore.

As for the girl we were seeing each other casually, I opened the door to my life for her and she took a step in and for a few months thigns were seemingly great (she even made an attempt to understand aspie's). Then six months ago she goes to a party without me and meets an asian guy who she thought was exotic and within two weeks she was with him head over heals. I spent some time thinking she'd come back, before when we were seeing each other she went out with an arab guy but came back, but now thats not going to happen.

I'm tired of the whole game, I always seem to always get cheated on or get dropped for a better more exotic guy. I'm 29 and this time was the closest i've ever been. I'm seriously depressed.

)))hug(((

I don't know what to say.

this is for the women that rejected you:

Boy do I feel your pain...

I have had the rugged pulled out so many times that now I actully start preparing for it when things go good for a while, and probablly help sabatoge it when I see the slightest hint of it getting pulled out.

My wife of 15yrs left me for another woman,
It is a wonder I survived that one.
The shock wave is still there...

The first dream starting at 10yrs old and the only dream that still exists consistantly to this day yet that has fully died, for I am 49, is to have a familly with children, grand children... well inorder to accomplish that do the math. So I say shoot for the Stars, if you miss you might still hit the moon. I at least had a relationship for 15+ years I think in the end, rough times, and my storms caused by the rough times drove her away. I didnt know I had AS then. Knowing what I know now could have saved it, for then my storms would be understood, and could have been reduced through, proper attention, sleep - food.

And dude...
For sure the pain is real...
I hold on to this now.
I am a Diamond, Humanity all of it! is coal and will all be burned in the end. yet the diamonds will come out of the coal, But to be a diamond it takes Intenses amount of pressure and heat.
were made of the same material carbon, but the pressures of life, internal and external, are greater than most experiance or should I say we experiance it greater and more extreem. We are living life fuller through emotions we can not share. And life is pressuring us for it.
in the end.
You will Shine Like a Star.
God Bless
GEM

Wait... Did I say something wrong???
Please tell me I didn't, cause I absolutely did not mean any harm, and I'm truly sorry if I did any.
It might also be me misunderstanding something here...

I have to say after a night of less than restfull sleep and a fist full of anti depresents that I haven't needed in year things are still a bit off. The pains less but frankly i'm not sure where the hell to go from here. The pain from watching a childhood dream go to hell just because some dummy in DC needed more money for his cronies is just about gone.

Loosing the girl however still hurts even through the drugs. The fact that i'm going to see the both of them at church on sunday isn't helping. What in hell i'm I going to say? The guy shes engaged too is basicly me in a more exotic wrapper. Right now though i'm can't feel a damn thing except sad.

Universal Timing
you may never know?

but

What if there is a girl in the wings that has had her Eye on you for some time,
And she is considerately waiting for you to be free, and doesn't want to compete?
Because she is a decent girl that would not betray you or your desire.
Now will be her opportunity to make her self known.
Meet new Peoples! New Church!
Be Free in Heart
So be seen!

Wish them both a happy future.
(and do it from the heart, because you do wish her the best life cause you like her she may be making a terrible mistake, but you wish her the best)

Try not to make the mistake of being her safety net next time she is alone.
It just prolongs the inevitable betrayal the 3rd time...
If they have done it once, they can do it again.
My wife left me a total of 3 times.
I gave her the ultimatum the 2nd time I took her back.
I said the next time I'm not taking you back.
there was a next time...
And God could have cleaned my slate for future reason yet to behold.