I'm now in serious trouble this time

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Well...it had to happen sooner or later. Just a couple of weeks ago, I had a stupid moment and turned left on a red traffic light (thinking for some reason it was a stop sign).

Now I know I am totally screwed.

Although I've had my driver's license since I was 18. I did not become like a truly independent driver till about two years ago (parents wouldnt let me take a car to college). My worst fear ever since I started driving was for my poor attention span to cause accidents or get me pulled over by police.

Neither happened today but I will still be in big trouble and I will get heavily fined.

I told my dad and he understands. I didnt pay attention and didnt see that the traffic light I was about to cross was red and I was already crossing the line by the time I noticed. I braked in the middle of the intersection with cars coming of course. Didn't know what else to do other than get around and out of that intersection ASAP. But thankfully there were no collisions, hits, or even horn honkings. I was even more surprised that the police weren't even in the area cuz I've been in the area before and I usually see one police car there.

But yeah it really shook me and worse was I almost did it again at the next red light. All the other traffic lights after that I couldnt help but brake even when it turned green. I've lost complete focus all day and I was so terrified. I dunno if I can drive myself anywhere this weekend. I'm too scared to now.

And I was scared all the way home because I didnt know if the police were coming or if someone who was at the traffic light pulled out their phone to call the police and got my license plate and everything. There were cameras as this was a nice area so I know there's gonna be a huge ticket coming that my dad said he will pay. But I am still scared that I will get in trouble just for leaving that incident. My windows were rolled down so if a collision or hit had occured, I would've clearly heard it.

I'm still scared that I may have come to traffic court. Imagine an aspie like myself having to be questioned over something like this, I won't last a minute.

And I was neither drunk nor on a cell phone. But I'm terrified. It's bad enough for people to deal with people who drive like that but to have to deal with someone like me who's 26 and has a poor attention span (or a mind with a bad habit of wandering off)...it's just as bad as a drunk person on the road. It's a sign after doing two dumb traffic moves in under a month, that my luck with driving has run out. I'm destined to get into a bad accident or pulled over by the police before it's even June.

Needless to say I wont be driving anywhere this weekend nor will I go anywhere near where this incident occured for a long time. It's the last day of classes for this week so I wont have to worry about driving around anywhere till Monday.

Maybe nothing at all will come of it! You didn't cause an accident; that's the main thing. You made a mistake. I sincerely hope that you don't have any negative repercussions as a result of your mistake, though.

My grandfather was driving well into his 90's.

He was quite insistent on this and his mind was still pretty sharp so there wasn't a reason to try to force him to stop.

When I would drive with him though, I noticed that he would verbally acknowledge what was going on.

For example, when pulling up to an intersection, if the light was red, he'd say "The light is red, so we stop."

Or if it were a stop sign, "And we stop at the stop sign...is it a for way stop? No, so we wait until it's safe"

I think this is a pretty good idea for everyone to do.

I think you will just get a ticket if there was a camera there.

What's important is not that you made a mistake - or even that you made the same one twice in a row (that's what happens when you get flustered and discombobulated from the first gaff) - what's important is that each time you managed to maneuver your way out of it without causing an accident. If you were really as horrible a driver as you're feeling right now, you might have panicked and stopped in front of oncoming traffic and somebody could have really been hurt, most likely you. So you can take from that that your reflexes are good, even if your mind has a tendency to wander. Nice save.

When I was still a kid, my dad worked as a claims adjuster for an insurance company, so long before I was old enough to drive, I was drilled constantly on driving defensively, and it's served me pretty well over the years. What that means basically, is that you acknowledge the fact that half of the drivers on the road besides yourself are idiots, and the other half are just distracted and not paying attention, so you have to be hyperaware of your surroundings at all times, or one of those Bozos will kill you.

If you think what happened to you was scary, take into account the fact that that sort of thing happens every single day to lots of other people, and that's not counting the ones playing with their cell phones, eating, daydreaming, fiddling with cigarette lighters, chatting to passengers, picking their noses, applying makeup, and yelling at their kids (and that's not even counting the ones who are drunk or high), and you have to navigate your way through all of them every time you go somewhere. Once that really sinks in, paranoia should keep you alert from now on.

You are not in trouble.

The cameras you might have seen there are probably traffic cameras used to spot traffic jams and such. A red light camera is something entirely different. They are not common and they are well marked so you know the intersection has one.

Even if there was a red light camera there, you'd just get a ticket in the mail. There would be no court, unless you wanted to contest the ticket. Red light camera tickets are non-moving violations, like a parking ticket. Just pay the fine, and it doesn't go on your driving record and it doesn't increase your insurance.

Other drivers did not call the police because they see weird crap like this all the time and don't care as long as nothing happens. Even if they did call the police, police couldn't do anything unless an officer had witnessed the infraction. A traffic cop is considered an expert witness in traffic court. No witness = no ticket.

THAT SAID.... don't blame the messenger... but... you should consider not driving unless it can't be avoided. Take public transportation whenever possible, or ride a bike. If this pattern continues you will eventually hurt yourself and others. If you were 16 and just learning I'd say go to a driving school. But at age 26 you've been driving for 8 years? It took me one year to stop being dangerous on the roads, and one more year to become really proficient. I almost ran one light and one stop sign in my first year. Never again after that.

Not exactly. I got my driver's license shortly before graduating from high school and got some driving experience during that summer. I like I said in my OP I didnt have a car in college. During that time my driving experience was limited to weekends and breaks when I was back home and that got short with the passing year. So when I returned home two years ago, I basically had to learn to drive all over again because I had been experience deprived for so long. So my experience on the road is equivalent to that of a teen.

The thing is though I normally took the highway to get home but I couldnt get on because I was too scared to get around this semi that was merging from an off ramp and we would both had to criss cross in order for me to get on the upcoming ramp I needed to be on to get to the highway, so I had to take an alternate route through the backstreets. I've been doing surprisingly fine on the highway but all that criss-crossing through lanes that I have to do when I need to get on or off of a highway ramp is scary stuff that I will occasionally avoid if it's too risky.

And believe me it's quite embarrassing for me to have this kind of reckless near accident experience at 26 instead of 10 years ago when it could be easily dismissed as bad teenage driving.

Maybe you could take a defensive driving course? Not that it sounds like you need one, but to bolster your confidence.

I cant believe it.

First time driving again since Thursday's incident and I cause yet another close call -really-couldve-killed-someone driving incident. This one involved a school bus so if I didn't get fined for what happened last week I sure will for this.

I guess I shouldnt be driving anymore.

Is there public transportation in your area?

It is maybe a good idea about not driving anymore because if you finally get in an accident, you be held responsible of you were at fault.

Sometimes you have to make a tough decision about if you want to risk this and handle the responsibility or not drive anymore because you don't want to be held responsible if you do get in a wreck or accidentally hit someone.

I live in the rural Midwest so no there is no public transportation.

I told my dad that I dont wanna drive and he thinks I am crazy despite telling him what happened. He thinks I need to get over it and keep driving and just be careful next time. I dont think he knows what a mess I can be over the smallest screwups. He doesnt even fathom at the thought of having two bad driving incidences in under a week would be considered a problem.

Now I do wish that a cop had been there to pull me over. My license would be suspended by now (but instead it's gonna take some weeks for the report to go through and for me to get my fine) and my dad wouldnt be insisting that I still drive when I really dont want to.

Why not have your Dad ride with you and act as an instructor? Sounds like you need to either learn good driving skills or un learn bad ones. Call a driving school, explain that you already have your license but want to hone your skills. In the meantime, I wouldn't drive without a co-driver if I were you.

Everyone has something like this happen once in a while. You'll pay your fine, if it comes to that, and chalk it up to experience. What you can't do, is allow a couple of mistakes to undermine your confidence. Driving is all about making decisions about correct actions and you've been driving just fine for a while now. That's millions of decisions that you have made while on the road that were right, weighed against two that were wrong. Yes, you could have caused an accident in both instances. Guess what, though? Any or all of those right decisions could have caused an accident, too, if they had been made incorrectly, but you aced them. If it makes you feel better, take a defensive driving course so you can get some tips on staying alert. Let this experience help make you a better driver, not scare you away from driving at all.