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princesseli
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02 Jun 2010, 7:11 pm

Ok so Im taking a psych class right now and I learned about secure attachment vs. anxious attachment. When she described anxious attachement, the description fit me. So I looked it up and apparently I have an Anxious-preoccupied attachment problem. This basically means im clingy. I desire close relationships and I become overly dependent on the person. I practically cried last night cause I felt like I had no one to cling onto. I know I need to learn how to stand up on my own and I've been telling myself that for over 2 years now. But I just never seem to learn. Its always a problem, I drive people away. When they want to get more distant from me, I can never seem to accept that. Its diffcult to handle. I just keep moving from clinging from person to person. When i loose a person, I look for another. Im wondering how do i stop this endless cycle of attachment issues.



CockneyRebel
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02 Jun 2010, 8:56 pm

I cad an anxious attachment to my best friend, in 2007. It was horrible. I wanted to distance myself, but I couldn't. I'm over that, now. I feel much more liberated and free.


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Peko
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02 Jun 2010, 8:59 pm

I'm so paranoid about developing any type of anxious attachment that I pull away from people to prevent it.


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poppyx
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02 Jun 2010, 10:47 pm

Had it occurred to you that part of what might be causing the anxious-attachment pattern might be the people to whom you're attaching?

I've even been aware of people who intentionally foster an anxious-attachment, all the better to reel you in when they need something.



poopylungstuffing
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02 Jun 2010, 11:34 pm

Any time I develop an attachment, it is bopund to be anzious, because they are so rare....Things are very messy for me right now because I am anxiously attached to my ASish boyfriend...and it is possible that I might have just caused a lot of damage to our relationship by displaying my anxiety.



poppyx
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03 Jun 2010, 8:15 am

...um...it's not irreparable. Just act like you don't care for awhile, and he'll relax again.

Asish men really don't like, as you know, any displays of too much attachment.