domestic abuse , from my family

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I hate my fuc***n family there so horrible to me . today i was watching a show , and the whole time people kept going past taking a dig at me in one way or another. (my god cant i sit for more then 10 in without being constantly berated!!) my brother walks past and said oh god shes watching a reality tv show. I ignore him and keep looking at the tv. my sister walks past smoking and i ask her to not smoke around me . (she says why do you have to be such a fuc##n bi##h ) i didn't say anything rude to her i just said don't smoke around me. (I don't want cancer!) My dad comes and sits there and tells me he thinks I'm nuts for opposing smoking and I said, "i don't want to breath second hand smoke because its worse then smoking " he starts telling me that he will start smoking cigars then. I said its worse because the smoker is breathing through a filter and I'm breathing in the raw smoke, chemicals and all . he laughs at me calling me a nut case , like he always does.

I think i may make this a regular blog thingy . possibly because i need to vent , I'm really getting upset about this verbal abuse lately

Eh, seems more of them just getting on your nerves today. I wouldn't go so far as to claim it being domestic abuse.

sometimes I hate my life, we don't have any food in the house, we haven't done a full shopping trip in 3 months! Most of our kitchen is practically bare, and the kicker of it all is my dad and my sister go out to eat every day ! If i dare ask them to get food from the grocery store they tell me we don't have any money to buy food, and then they go out to eat at expensive restaurants every day!! !! ! I feel like I am not allowed to ask for food like by asking for food I'm being really ungrateful. My sister is telling me to clean the house and take care of her dog, we have house everyone lives in but I'm supposed to clean it all ! !! her dog isent trained to go outside , instead she goes in the bathroom, so the floor is cover in dog crap and pee. and I'm supposed to clean up after HER dog , well I'm sorry but no , she needs to do it. I have OCD and if anyone here knows anything about that they would know I don't like germs for that reason. I cant even go into that room unless i have shoes on because the whole floor is soaked in pee and their are dog piles all over the place, i cant take it !

If such conditions exist, possibly contact a counselor or your therapist (if you're seeing a therapist for your AS.) I mean, how old are you?

You have no idea what real abuse is.

you don't know what my life is like . I'm sorry but you have no idea what i go though, that was one hour, and a peaceful one at that. i deal with those comments 24/7 and i am called a slu# and a ho## and a bit## and a pice of sh## by my dad and my sister and my brother is screaming at me at the top of his lungs. I didn't come here for justification i came here to vent , I don't think you understand my situation , i was beaten by these people every day when i was a child , so please don't tell me its not abuse.

I'm 21 . jawbrodt go #### your self I'm in a really bad situation don't talk about what you don't understand . (listen to your own signature's advice ) your post was uncalled for , your just mixing up trouble.

That was the first thought that came to mind. I'll leave it at that.

Oh, so you live at home. Well, I'm not in such a precarious position though I will admit that the beatings from my dad stopped when I was 19 - the last time I was just laughing at him inside as I was blacking in and out of unconsciousness. He doesn't do it anymore. We keep our distance. If it is still going on, consider moving out. You'd be surprised by how many people are willing to help you.

No one will help me , I wish they would. I'm so sad . I get so scared sometimes when I remember things. I still have to worry today, it was only a few weeks ago my dad got mad at me and almost threw something at me , he saw i ducked down to avoid it so he laughed and then threw the object the other way. He just wanted to make sure I was still scared of him. why wont anyone help me? I wish I was lucky enough to get away . I'm sitting here crying remembering all of the times he used to beat me . If i ran away from him and locked my door he would brake it down and beat me even worse.
I wish I could leave here this place has so many painful memories. why didn't anyone help me!?! Why isent there any programs to help people like me who are still stuck in the place where they were abused?

You're not getting any help because you're not asking. Are you in school? Are you working?

I'm on disability and it only pays 400 a month and I cant find an appt for under 450 a month . I tried working but I couldn't handle it . I wish someone could just help me. I know the world does not work like that but I wish it did . I had a therapist for a week or two and she toled me that my family wasn't that bad (but she had not met them). She toled me to try and see the good in the situation and to try talking to them about it. She toled me"I'm sure they don't mean to hurt you". I never went back after she said that. I have tried to talk to them in the past and it didn't work. My dad started laughing at me, he looked blankly into my eyes and said, "you know you would be a good actor" and walked away laughing . He had the nerve to say he never beat us out of anger. I remember many a time he would say something and me or my brother and we would start crying , he would grab our chin and say if you don't stop crying I'm gonna take my belt off and beat you with it! And of course we would cry because we were scared ,then we would get beat for crying. That happened at least once a week. I remember talking to my oldest sisters, friend . I was telling her all the ways I got beaten every day and I asked her how her father beats her? Because at that time I thought it was normal to get beaten every day. Well she toled my sister what I said and my sister toled me never to tell anyone ever again because the government would come and take me away. When I got home I was really in trouble for it . I think that was one of the days I was beaten , but it happened so often its hard to remember. I do remember running around the house screaming somebody help me , tears running down my face as my dad would chase me with the belt screaming back at me " if you don't get back here by the count of 3!! !" then I would have to come back or he would catch me and beat me a lot harder.

No I'm not in school and I don't work. I do go to church should I ask there? And if so what questions should I ask?

Maybe, but don't go overboard like you did on this forum. It may come across as hyperbole and serve to cause an irrational response from your parents and family. While it may seem obvious to be flippant with them, it can only be a disservice to yourself to cut ties savagely. They will storm right back at you and try to bring you back and that's just not good.

Take a minute to come up with an escape plan, then come up with the reasoning. The church is a possibility, but they'll try to patch things up if you go out in an outburst. The reasoning must be straightforward - it must make its point simple and come across in a polite, delicate way. You want them to to treat your decision with respect, treat them with respect in return. Doing so will strengthen your resolve.

Or you know, you could just run away and face those repercussions and possibly have yourself committed to a relationship with your parents when brought back.

thats part of the problem I have thought for months and months of a way out, and I just don't see one. Even if I did leave where would I go? I don't have anywhere to go. I wonder if there are government programs out there to help people like me. But I don't know of any and I don't know where to look either.

What jobs were you doing? What interests you?