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Kat15
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03 Jun 2010, 3:05 pm

Does it annoy anyone when someone gives you special attention because of AS?


It does to me. But im not sure what to say about it.



Last edited by Kat15 on 04 Jun 2010, 2:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

mechanicalgirl39
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03 Jun 2010, 3:52 pm

No if you were a brat you would be asking for attention here there and everywhere.

I respect your not wanting special attention, it is admirable and a lot healthier than acting a victim, but try not to see it as special attention when someone tries to help you out with a problem you genuinely do have. Everyone sometimes needs that attention, so don't feel too bad for getting help with your problems. :) If I fell and damaged myself would it be special attention if I went and got an X ray? Nope. Same with sensory issues, social skills, or whatever it is you find hard.


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Mudboy
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03 Jun 2010, 4:41 pm

I hate self help books that are written like only women have certain problems, so I understand the irritation you feel when being referred to as the opposite sex. She is probably picking up books for children mainly because books for adults are hard to find. It seems the vast majority of AS education efforts are aimed towards toddlers right now. Maybe you could ask her to find adult books about AS online.


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Eldanesh
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03 Jun 2010, 7:23 pm

Though not a fan of the attention either from inside the family, I prefer it a thousand times over than having my peers know so they can put me in a box.
So don't be TOO disproving about them trying. They're just really worried, and unlike the outside world are pretty much 100% of the time wanting the best for you, even if they're screwing it up.



mesona
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03 Jun 2010, 8:13 pm

Do what I did to my mom and give her home work. I told my mom after her buying her 5th Aspie help book. Then come up with a page or two of questions about your day to day life like

Spoiler of FF8



"I got really upset and cried when I beat final fantasy 8 and it turns out because I killed the time queen I made the main lose his sister. why did I get upset"

and show her those books are wrong for you, out of the 10 page questions my mom only got about 5 right. But you might be wrong the books could help you.

P.S I was sad not because the game was at the end but because it was my fualt he felt so much pain at the loss of his sister And he had that close of a relationship with someone else.


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Lene
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03 Jun 2010, 8:32 pm

Cute elephant avatar :) .

I wonder if this is just your parents way of coping with the diagnosis. They're probably anxious about being 'Good' parents etc. and grasping at any support they an get. It may settle down over time as you grow up and they grow used to it.

Also, maybe consider the idea that the books may help. Your parents aren't stupid; you're still their daughter and not some cookie-cutter aspie from a text book, but if they are having trouble understanding you, these books may help them at least feel as if they are doing something (same way Wrongplanet is a support for you).

Parents buy books about their kids all the time. It's not just because you have AS. There are also books about how to understand your boss, your teacher, the examiners, your partner, your doctor etc... all these books have a slightly patronising tone about the person being 'understood', as if they are manuals for understanding some delicate foreign species, but they're just guides, and what matters is the mentality of the person who uses the text.

(but yeah, I hate books that only refer to 'he'. It's even worse if the author makes a little throw away caveat beforehand about how of course by 'he', they mean she as well, but it's just soo much easier to read this way... yeah, like that's worth alienating half your target audience)



CockneyRebel
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04 Jun 2010, 3:11 pm

I don't like getting special attention, either. I've made it through the regular school system, and I've held down three jobs. I don't need or want special attention.


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