Family issues

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I don't know if anyone else has same type of issue. I'm out of college and have been for a while. I have family that live in Seattle and in NJ. I am fine visiting my aunt and uncle in Seattle. I'm also ok around my cousins. They are way older than me in their 40s-50s. My cousins have children that are between the ages of 10-20. When I look at the children, I get so depressed. These kids are happy. WAY more happier than I was when I was their age. I look at the 10 year old girl and she has plenty of friends and she has great oral skills. She went to a montessori school when she was much younger. Is montessori a school for gifted kids?
When I was her age I was made fun of me in school and never had friends. Well even today I get made fun of and I still lack oral skills and have no friends and no social life. I feel so embarrassed around them. The 20 year old is majoring in bio chem so most likely she will go on and be a medical doctor. I did go to college, and received a bachelors in music but I'm not doing anything music related. I played piano since I was 6 years old but quit when I graduated college. I also was involved in choruses.

My other cousin lives in NJ and she's around my age and her kids are between the ages of 3-12. When I look at her kids I don't feel sad or depressed for some reason. One of her kids has spina bifida and her other son has LD/ADD. When I see my aunt and uncle in NJ I get depressed around them. So it's the opposite feeling. I'm depressed around the adults. Last month dad had a birthday party at this Italian restaurant and my aunt and uncle were communicating with others so well. I asked myself how come I can't be like that? I see my family in NJ way more than I see my family in Seattle. I'm also mixed race. I'm half Korean/half white. The family in Seattle are mom's side and they are Korean.

So does anyone else feel sad when you are around younger family members? Do you look at them and think back when you were a child and how you were teased? Do you then just avoid family get togethers and just be alone? OR do you just deal with it?

I know what you are talking about. I avoided family reunions and get togethers for a long time because my sister was already married, happy, had cute, gregarious kids, etc., etc. It was hard. Plus, I didn't socialize well at these group outings and my dad would get angry with me about it. Now, years later, I still don't like the family reunions, but my parents are now happy because I am married and have kids. But---my very sociable 9-year old daughter gets frustrated when she has to go more than a day without a playdate with one of her many friends. I try my best to accomodate her, although its new to me. She didn't inherit my AS beccause she is adopted (from China) (while my adopted son is AS). So its hard to ever get away from the feeling that I am inferior somehow.