Bummed - Anxiety

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I'm so bummed today. I was just thinking how my high anxiety ruins everything. I have read anti-anxiety techniques, they help somewhat but not enough. When something spikes my anxiety I spin out of control.

Are most aspies this anxious? I feel abnormal....

I have no friends in my town. I really don't like going to bars and other social outings. Although, I do go to festivals and malls with my parents.

Not sure what else to say ...

I get extremely anxious, too. Nothing I've tried helps as much as I'd like it to, so most of what I can offer you is sympathy. Something deep inside just involuntarily tenses up whenever I sense the presence of most other people, and suddenly I start forgetting things and finding my train of thought in totally irrelevant territory. It's a daily struggle to maintain my energy and morale.

Regular exercise will help. When I must interact with other people, I just take deep breaths and focus on being kind to the other person and to myself.

Drawing helps me, too.

Supposedly meditation helps?

It can help. When I withdraw I guess it could be called meditating. Some people don't understand when I become silent. I'm doing mental gymnastics to turn my mental state around. I don't do this forcibly but rather try to guide myself into a different state of being.

I think I do better with VERY small groups or one-on-one. For some reason, the more people that are added the more confusing it gets.

When my anxiety gets extremely high, I have to walk. If it's too hot outside I try to go to a mall to just walk around.

For me, it feels like when you program a computer and there is a logic error that puts the computer in an infinite loop.
(Not responding)

I get really anxious before big (or often small) events, even walking to the shops is an uphill battle.

I don't really know if this will help but whenever I feel it coming it just kind of chuck myself at the situation because I know if I dodge around the boundaries it will become too much to cope with, I just go a little stupid and reckless is the only way I can describe it.

Hope you find a way around it someday

Dr. Nick Dubin (who has asperger's) has written the book Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management.

In the foreword, written by Dr. Valerie Gaus, it says:


- page 9

Dr. Dubin himself writes:


- page 12

and


- page 13

and


- page 15

I hope these snippets from Dr. Dubin's book will help put your mind at ease as to whether you are abnormal or not -- you are not abnormal. Asperger's and Anxiety go together like tea and toast. The anxiety can be worked with and conquered, but in today's society, high anxiety is the normal default state of the person with asperger's. You are not alone.

Thanks for the post. I didn't know about this book. I will have to check it out.

Not sure about "conquered", at least in my own case, yet I do find it possible to keep moving along.

Today I made a list of things I needed to go get from two different stores on the same side of the street while on my way back from the farther-away one ... and thinking through those things beforehand was how I got past the anxiety that usually comes almost every time I think about leaving the house and going anywhere at all. My vision is not great and to go anywhere at all I must drive on a busy, crowded and narrow four-lane highway with curves and hills for about 5 miles to get to the only department store in town.

I did okay in the stores, but I could not find my car in the parking lot after coming out of the first one ... and I had just purchased two large and heavy items (some flat-pack furniture) I was not really sure how I was going to fit inside it anyway. To get past the anxiety of pushing my loaded cart around in the parking lot in the hot sun while looking for my car, I just kept pushing while making conscious efforts to simply wonder how this "adventure" was going to turn out ... then I happened to see the man who bought my truck just a week ago, and I ended up giving him some gas money for hauling my stuff back to the house for me ... and then I found my car just a couple of lanes away from where he had been parked.

Aside from being able to believe there really is a sovereign creator who actually does give a flip about me for whatever reason, just waking up in the morning would drive me insane.