I feel the need to be offensive all the time

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I open my mouth and say offensive things without realising it. About people, to their faces. I make insulting comments about people's girlfriends and suchlike. It's worse when I've had a beer or two but it happens a lot when I'm sober too. I think I'm being witty, but apparently I'm not. It's like I've got a self-destruct button and I think it's going to land me in serious trouble over time.

Any help?

Tourettes?

I watched a documentary once about it, apparently a common trait is having semi-coherent outbursts as well as the traditional swearing occurrence.

It's not Tourettes. It's sort of like I don't properly think about what the reaction might be to my remarks before I say them.

Might just be AS, I often come off as pretty offensive when I'm just trying, in all innocence, to state a matter of fact. Or is it a need to offend people you feel?

More the second than the first. I tend to see it as me being light-hearted when other people take it very seriously...

Are you being ironic when you say these things? I know people, my brother included, who will say awful things with a straight face and it's the exact opposite of what they believe. In a sense they're playing a part and assuming people will know them well enough to know they don't really think that way. That kind of humor is best expressed around family and very close friends. I know there's times I think I'm being witty but I realize later I was just being obnoxious. Once after a lunch rush while working in a restaurant, I told the manager that everyone had been fed and watered. He gave me a dirty look.

Sometimes yes, sometimes not.

Sometimes I realise that the things I say are offensive but I don't think anyone's actually listening - like I might say that people in Othertown are scum in a sort of off-hand, light-hearted way. I don't believe they are scum but other people don't seem to realise this.

I consider being an aspie like having social Tourette's because I say lots of things that I don't want ppl to be hurt by, but it is how I feel. Any degree of convolution I feel I must correct, a misleading ad on the radio, people who won't drive going slow on the road, someone who thinks more of themselves than they should, or someone who tries to correct me because they hold a faulty view of the issue. I see the world in black and white to an extreme and I have to say it when I think it, or I'll lose it. I think that is what it is for me. I guess I have little qualms about hurting other people's feelings since there is a social reciprocity for that in my experience.

If you don't believe they are scum then why say it? I mean, if it were in relation to a rival football team or something similar "so-so FC supporters are total c****" and it was to a fellow supporter then fair enough, it's justified so long as so-so supporters aren't in earshot, but to just approach someone, a friend even, with no vested interest in hating on the city then it comes off as pretty rude and unnecessary.

You might be putting up an offensive verbal shield to help repel people. I know what you are talking about with the gross of insensitive conversations. I believe I told the messed up stories to make people stay away from me.

I didn't approach someone to say it - it was an offhand comment made after a few beers, mostly to myself. I didn't mean it to sound as aggressive as it did - I don't hate the city or the people from it (though it must be said that I'm not particularly fond of it either).

Booze does that.

I can only suggest that the solution is to find good friends with similar mindsets to go drinking with who won't be offended when you decide to share your views.

Yeah, but then I say things about other people when I haven't been drinking. It's more that I have a total lack of any discretion.

For instance my brother has a girlfriend and she is ugly. Seriously ugly. So I say something like when are you seeing your ugly girlfriend.

Um, I dunno then, I suppose just think before you speak? Don't put anything you know is demeaning or negative into your conversations. I mean you know that the world "ugly" has a negative meaning so all the phrases and words that are similar just don't use.

I've learned the hard way to not use the word "cheap" because it's an insult and offensive. Saying it to my own husband is fine and saying it when I am talking about myself is fine, same as when I am talking to my parents. But say it to other people who don't know me well might take it the wrong way. I wouldn't say it to my relatives or to my in laws.

I also learned on here to not ever joke about a misspelling when someone was talking about their tragic event such as rape. Someone here misspelled a word and another user made a joke about it and it upset her. The word was stalk but she spelled it as stock and that user made a joke about the typo. On another forum I spelled rod instead of rid and someone made a joke about it but then he ended up sending me a PM apologizing thinking I was offended. But luckily I never saw it because I didn't re visit the thread again after making a post about my miscarriage because I forgot about it. So yeah I wouldn't joke about typos when someone is talking about a tragic incident.

But I still tend to offend people and say things I am not supposed to say. I am sure I do it here too. Heck some people here think I'm a troll so that could be one of the reasons and ironically this is an aspie forum so I would expect everyone to assume it's not my intention.

A few times as LG I have offended several people with something I say. One of them was my humor and the others was my comments I made. Honestly I don't know if it's me or them with the issue when this happens. Some people are just too sensitive so they take things out of proportion and act like bullies about it. I just ignore them or try to and I move on.

I have a low tolerance for stupidity. That intolerance offends stupid people...therefore, if something I say offends, it goes without saying...