I worry about my Mother...she's on the verge of a breakdown

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*Sighs* and I might have provoked it...

You see, my mother is currently the only one in my immediate family who has a steady job, and she often has to work long hours, only getting 2 days in a row off. But she's never complained until now...because now her shift at the hosptial requires her to work even LONGER hours in a broken shift over 4 days. True, she'll have 3 days off now, but she's be so freaking EXHAUSTED the day before the break, that it would take her a full day just to recover, thus making the first of the 3 days redundant. So she's understandably angry about this...but through it all, she just smiles and takes it, like a 'schmuck' (her words, not mine),

Well, tonight, I think I might have made her go a little Annie Wilkes on me. Allow me to explain: one of her biggest pet peeves about me is that, even when she tries to give me constructive advice, I always see it as her picking me apart for not thinking of it myself. Well...tonight I'd bought a past-dated cherry pie from my local grocery store, and she was advising me to put it in the fridge after I carved it up, so that the crust doesn't get moldy. Well, I wouldn't have minded that advice, but she made a had gesture as she said it (moving her hands in a pushing away motion), as though she was saying 'ew, how disgusting, it's almost moldy!'

So when I told her how I felt about that hand gesture...she...lost it.
As though all the frustration she felt over her new sh*tty time schedule finally boiled over and she took it out on me; "Why do you ALWAYS turn EVERY helpful thing I try to tell you into a personal assault on you?! It's getting so I can't tell you ANYTHING anymore without you saying 'What's THAT supposed to mean?' or 'Are you picking on me?'! Ugh, it drives me CRAZY!"

Damn.... Am I *really* that paranoid that I can't take ANYTHING helpful without being suspicious or that everyone is picking on me and my flaws...even my own FAMILY?!

Comments and suggestions are definitely welcome, as I need them.

Usagi1992

Please, take a deep breath and do what works to calm down, okay? Take another deep breath...

It sounds like a perfect storm of bad timing and elevated stress levels on both your part and your mothers part. It's okay to feel the feeling of being paranoid, if it's part of what helps you calm down; perhaps when both of you are calmer, no matter how long it takes, it might help your Mom if you apologize. With any luck, she'll apologize to you.

In the meantime, take another deep breath and do what works to calm down.

I wish you peace.

Oh you better *believe* that I apologized first, and only within seconds of her blow-up, because it pains me to see her so upset; she's usually such a happy upbeat person, but sometimes I can't tell because I think she's a 'Stepford Smiler' - that is, someone who hides deep inner pain by always smiling and looking happy, to make others around them happy too.

And don't worry, my mother isn't the kind to hold onto anger...she's always quick to forgive and move on, as only a few minutes before the start of the beginning post, we were able to laugh over something Family Guy related. ^_^

So yes, crisis averted. And peace be with you too.

Usagi1992

Apologize to her, and YOU stop being so sensitive.

Do something nice for her, like offer to do the laundry or something so she can relax more on her days off.

If you're old enough and can afford it, maybe take her to a day spa.

Do the chores around the house, so that she can relax. That's what I used to do, when I was living with my parents. My mum would be exhausted from working long hours at McDonald's, 5 days a week, so I did chores for her.

And what's THAT supposed to mean?!



Well, I would do those things for her...but I live away from the old homestead now, in my own apartment. I only happen to be visiting her for a couple of days because my LONELY AS F**K brother begged me to come and visit him. And speaking of, he's the only one of my parents' kids still living at home, and he doesn't do a DAMN THING TO HELP! Not because he's mean, but because he's L-A-Z-Y! Never ONCE has he done the morning dishes for Mom when she works from Monday to Wednesday. Christ, if I ever dared to not do the Monday dishes while I was still living here, I'd NEVER hear the end of it! But David gets away with it ALL the time!

Now I know this post has more to do with me then it does my brother, but I think that he counts for at least 40% of mom's annoyances and stresses. But focusing back on me, if it was in my power, and if I could drive, then yes, I would help my mother out a lot more, if only to keep her mind sane...

Usagi1992